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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24093553">It will come back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/regencyaus/pseuds/mgsdays'>mgsdays (regencyaus)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>it will come back [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Friendship, High School, Humor, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mo Guan Shan and Zhan Zheng Xi are friends, Mo Guan Shan less angry, Romance, Some mafia business, a year after Jian Yi's disappearance, a year into high school, friendship tag is with other characters tiashan are more from the beginning, learning to be together</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:53:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,417</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24093553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/regencyaus/pseuds/mgsdays</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He Tian leaving on self-protection, after Jian Yi's disappearance, makes Mo scared enough to make a move. They stumble into something together just as He Tian leaves the country, and they have to figure things out long-distance while waiting for He Tian to come back.</p><p>--</p><p>Mo's known the gist of it since the dawn of his puberty. Water's wet, sky is blue, Mo's sexual desires are intertwined with his complicated feelings for He Tian. Big deal. </p><p>But the reality of it is- something else. This is something else entirely. </p><p><em>Did you miss me? – H</em> </p><p> <em>Barely noticed. - MGS</em></p><p> <em>...did you? - MGS</em> </p><p> <em>Every minute of every day. - H</em>  </p><p>How the fuck does He Tian just say those things? Doesn't he feel embarrassed? Mo thinks he's feeling embarrassed for him, and he didn't even write it. He stares at the words until his phone light goes out, and then he turns it on again and stares some more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>He Tian/Mo Guanshan (19 Days), Jian Yi/Zhan Zhengxi (mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>it will come back [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918039</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>343</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1115</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This isn't established relationship immediately but this is <em>'They made some progress since we've last seen them',</em> so some conversations and developments come about more naturally. Mo and Zheng Xi are friends and I give zero explanation, so it just happend at some point lol</p><p>Canon until Jian Yi's disappearence.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is a stupid idea. Mo Guan Shan knew it, and Zhan Zheng Xi knew it, and yet they're here anyway. Mo can't even explain inside his own head why.</p><p>They hear from Qiu, of all people, that He Tian will be leaving on business today and Zheng Xi gives Mo one look and says, “You should find him and say a proper goodbye. You don't know how long it's gonna take.”</p><p>And Mo, against all his best judgment, agrees. Ain't that stupid?</p><p>They had first noticed Qiu out of instinct. Mo and Zheng Xi were walking out of high school on the way to the subway when Zheng Xi pokes him, makes a subtle gesture behind. Mo already knows what he means. He felt the stare too. After the years of hanging around She Li and later He Tian, Mo had developed a sixth sense to danger. He can always tell when he’s being watched.</p><p>In this case, they realize soon enough, it's not exactly a threat. <em>Qiu</em>. The devil you know, and all that.</p><p>Zheng Xi says “Hello".</p><p>Mo says “Why the fuck are you following us asshole,” because he doesn't believe in pleasantries. Zheng Xi has to stop being a wimp around people they are begrudging acquaintances with.</p><p>Qiu stubs out a cigarette he had been smoking. “Why are you always looking for a fight Guanshan? I'm here because He Tian asked his brother to keep an eye on you while he's away.”</p><p>…wait, what?</p><p>“...away?” That's new information. “Away how?”</p><p>“International business trip.”</p><p>Mo and Zheng Xi look at each other. <em>Fuck</em>. They know this record.</p><p>Mo can feel his heart start racing in his chest.</p><p>Zhan Zheng Xi shakes his head and voices what they’re both thinking. “Is this trip anything like... like what's going on with Jian Yi?” It’s a good thing that Zheng Xi asks because Guan Shan can't get the words out.</p><p>Right after Jian Yi's disappearance Zheng Xi tried so, <em>so </em>hard to get information out of Qiu and He Cheng. He cried, and screamed, and kicked and nothing ever got him any answers. They say that they don't know anything, which no one in the room believes, but they also say that Zheng Xi should stop asking about it, and that if something had happened to Jian Yi he would know.</p><p>Eventually Zheng Xi learned to take that as the reassurance that they meant. But the anger never truly went away. Qiu knows it. The civility of this conversation is hanging by a thread.</p><p>“It's not like that, no,” Qiu answers calmly. Mo pushes it.</p><p>“How do you know?”</p><p>“It's just a business trip.”</p><p>“<em>How </em>do you know that?”</p><p>“For fucks sake. I just do. I wouldn't take this job if I was supposed to follow you for a year.”</p><p>That's a low blow. It was recently the one year mark of Jian Yi's disappearance.</p><p>Zheng Xi's entire expression shutters closed. “<em>Fuck</em> you.”</p><p><em>There you go Zheng Xi</em>, Mo thinks, watching him. <em> I know you have claws in there</em>.</p><p>Still. They can’t afford a fight. Qiu is currently their source of information. Guan Shan has to turn back to the problem at hand. He Tian is gone.</p><p>He Tian is <em>gone</em>.</p><p>Mo might be shaking. He needs to think about this. "When did He Tian leave?” Mo tries to remember the last time he actually saw him in person. Maybe a week ago, before vacation was over. He Tian had asked him to come over to cook. Even sent some pitiful picture of his ramen as argument. Mo wonders if he already knew he was leaving by then. It makes Mo resentful that he didn't-</p><p>...what? That he didn't what? Say <em>goodbye</em>? Fuck.</p><p>It makes Mo <span class="TextRun BCX0 SCXW45392777"><span class="NormalTextRun BCX0 SCXW45392777">resentful that He Tian didn't </span></span><em><span class="TextRun BCX0 SCXW45392777"><span class="NormalTextRun BCX0 SCXW45392777">tell him</span></span></em><span class="TextRun BCX0 SCXW45392777"><span class="NormalTextRun BCX0 SCXW45392777"> he was leaving so Mo</span></span><span class="TextRun BCX0 SCXW45392777"><span class="NormalTextRun BCX0 SCXW45392777"> could, not exactly say goodbye, but still know that it was a goodbye. It makes him resentful that</span></span> He Tian wants Mo to trust him but he never says anything. It's fucking frustrating to have to guess shit-</p><p>“He hasn't left yet.”</p><p>And doesn't <em>that </em>snap Mo out of his musings.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>
  <em>“What?”</em>
</p><p>“He's at He Cheng's,” Qiu clarifies, “they'll drive down later. I don't even know why I'm telling you this, stop being annoying now.”</p><p><em> They'll drive down, </em>he must mean to Shanghai. If He Tian is flying internationally he'd fly from there.</p><p>Mo turns to Zhan Zheng Xi. Zheng Xi is already looking at him.</p><p>“You should find him and say a proper goodbye. You don't know how long it's going to take.”</p><p>It makes sense that<em> Zhan Zheng Xi </em> is saying that. Jian Yi's disappearance almost broke Zheng Xi. Mo knows how sensitive this is for him. </p><p>Jian Yi was annoying, but he was a good guy. You don't find a lot of those. Mo can't even imagine what this feels like for Zheng Xi.</p><p>Zheng Xi’s point is obvious.</p><p><em> If </em><em>I'</em><em>d had a chance to say goodbye, </em><em>I </em> <em>  would have</em>.</p><p>But still, it's not the same thing. He Tian will go on a business trip for whatever shady shit his family does and will be back before they know it.</p><p>…yeah, Mo Guan Shan doesn't believe it when he thinks it either.</p><p>“He Cheng's, you say?” Mo asks. “I'm going there. Zhengxi-”</p><p>“I'm going with you.”</p><p>“...you sure?”</p><p>Jian Yi lived at He Cheng's for months. That place must bring back painful memories for Zhan Zheng Xi.</p><p>“Yes, I'm sure.”</p><p>Guan Shan, to this day, still doesn't understand how he ended up having friends. It feels like he just got distracted one day and boom, there’s a couple people that are willing to do a lot for him. Still, he's thankful for it.</p><p>“Alright. Let's go.”</p><p> </p><p>_______________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They go to He Cheng's place. They even get past the front gate, since apparently at some point Mo Guan Shan's name was cleared through security by He Cheng. Mo wonders when <em>that</em> happened. But they get in, no, that's not the problem. The problem is that once  they’re inside there are about a <em>million</em> men in black suits and He Tian is right among them. Mo pulls Zheng Xi through an empty hallway before they're spotted.</p><p>The fuck are they supposed to do, walk up to them and say hi?</p><p>"I don't know what we were thinking. These people are dangerous."</p><p>Qiu, very helpfully, appears once again from out of the shadows.</p><p>"I don't know what you were expecting. These people are dangerous."</p><p>"Yes, thank you Qiu, you are ever so helpful. Zheng Xi we should just..." Mo points back the way they came. We should get the fuck out of here. If He Tian disappears forever that's up to him. Good riddance bitch.</p><p>Neither Zheng Xi or Qiu seem keen on his idea.</p><p>“They're dangerous but no one here has a problem with us, Guan Shan,” Zheng Xi tries to point out. “They're not going to hurt us just because we want to talk to He Tian for a moment."</p><p>"They also know you're here," Qiu adds. "Security notified He Cheng when you walked in. Waiting around will just piss him off. Do what you want and get out."</p><p>Shit, Mo thinks.</p><p>Shit shit shit. Shit.</p><p>Mo steps out of the hallway again.</p><p>He Tian hasn’t noticed him yet. Mo takes a moment to look. He's dressed in full black, from the gloves and long sleeved shirt to his pants and shoes. He looks dangerous.</p><p>He fits right in with a group of potential criminals.</p><p>Mo wonders what that says about He Tian, and what that says about Mo, for hanging around him.</p><p>Mo counts heads of the guys in the next room. Yep, still approximately 1 million of them. Fuck that. He turns around and starts walking away. </p><p>A voice stops him.</p><p>"Mo-ge?”</p><p>Oh boy. Ain't that a sight, to be called big brother Mo in a room where every single person outranks him in power, age and guns. Probably. He can't see the guns but he thinks they are implied.</p><p>Mo turns around. He Tian is staring at him.</p><p>“What are you doing here?”</p><p>Mo clears his throat. Fuck, all of the men are looking at him now. He never felt so exposed before.</p><p>“...I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, I was just leaving.”</p><p>“A wrong turn into my brother’s house? Mo-”</p><p>Mo turns back and starts walking away. He can hear He Tian behind him justifying an absence ‘<em>excuse me </em><em>for a moment </em>,’ and then his footsteps are following him.</p><p>Mo pauses when he's unsure between the front door and the hallway he was in with Zheng Xi and Qiu. He Tian catches up with him.</p><p>“Here,” He Tian says, and guides him to the hallway with a hand behind his back, and then past the boys and into one of the rooms. Some kind of a library? Mo doesn’t really look around. He turns around and leans against the wall.</p><p>“Mo?” He Tian is frowning.</p><p>“I heard you are leaving,” Mo finally says. He Tian’s expression clears.</p><p>“You came to say goodbye?”</p><p>“Fuck you.”</p><p>He Tian has this huge smile on his face. Mo wants to punch it off. He will, really, he’s just distracted for a moment.</p><p>“How long will you be gone for?” he asks.</p><p>“I don’t know yet. I’m sorry. Not too long, I think.”</p><p>Fuck. This sounds so close to Jian Yi's disappearance that Mo can barely process.</p><p>“Anything you can share?” It’s a long shot. Mo knows it is.</p><p>“No. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Second time he apologizes today. Mo would find it amusing, in a different context. He Tian is usually way too spoiled for it. </p><p>Something about the moment though doesn’t quite allow Guan Shan to feel amused. He looks down.</p><p>“Well, don’t die or something. See ya.”</p><p>Except, Mo doesn’t go anywhere. He doesn’t move and then He Tian has a gloved hand tilting his chin up, to meet his eyes.</p><p>“Mo you came here to say goodbye. Don’t be a coward.”</p><p>Mo knows what He Tian wants him to do.</p><p>Mo is not a fucking coward. There's energy thrumming through him, like <em>this</em> might be the day he does something stupid. He feels high on adrenaline.</p><p>Before he can change his mind, he reaches up and meets He Tian’s lips.</p><p>
  <em>Take that, asshole. </em>
</p><p>If He Tian is surprised, Mo can’t tell. He Tian raises his hands to the back of Mo's head and kisses him softly, then presses kiss after kiss to Mo's lips, just lightly, until in one he coxes Mo's lips open and sucks on Mo's bottom lip. <em>Fuck</em>. Mo can barely fucking breathe. The texture of He Tian’s gloves in the back of his head versus the soft feeling of his mouth on his. Mo breathes out hard and tells his brain to shut up for just a moment. Fuck, what is he thinking??</p><p>He presses up into another kiss.</p><p>He Tian indulges him, falling easily into it. One of his thumbs strokes Mo's cheek. Before the kiss can really build up, though, he pulls away and sighs into Mo's mouth.</p><p>“You’ve been stringing me along for 18 months and you make a move when I'm about to leave?”</p><p>...the fuck? ...what does he want Mo to say? And wait, has he-</p><p>“You’ve been<em> counting the months?</em>”</p><p>“Absolutely.”</p><p>What a fucker, Mo thinks. He Tian leans back so he can look at Mo properly.</p><p>“I'll be back. You know that, right?”</p><p>Mo doesn’t know anything.</p><p>It’s kind of hard to trust given the world’s continuous ability to prove him wrong.</p><p>“Whatever,” Mo says. He takes one last lingering look at He Tian’s face and squares up. “Don’t die.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t dream of it.”</p><p>Mo turns away. This time He Tian doesn’t stop him. His hands fall away from Mo’s face and he makes room for Mo to leave.</p><p>On the hallway Zheng Xi is still waiting for him and he nods at Mo when Mo steps out.<em> Mission </em><em>accomplished</em>, he seems to say.</p><p><em> Fuck off</em>, Guan Shan does his best to send back, but it's a moot point. At the end he’s not really angry.</p><p>“Don't do anything stupid out there,” Zhengxi tells He Tian. “Stay safe."</p><p>“Will do, Zhengxi.”</p><p>They hug it out. Mo is actually surprised by the hot feeling burning in the pit of his stomach at it. Since when are He Tian and Zheng Xi the hugging type? The fuck is this. Does He Tian go around hugging everyone he knows? It's too intimate, that's what it is, and it looks stupid. After a moment Mo looks away. When He Tian is done he smiles at Mo, like he caught on to something that Mo hasn't. Fuck him.</p><p>“I have to go. Thank you for stopping by.”</p><p>He waves and then Qiu is unceremoniously pushing them to the front gate and then out into the street.</p><p>This was it.</p><p>Goodbye over.</p><p>Mo has <em>no idea</em> when he'll see He Tian again. Shit. He might be shaking.</p><p>Zheng Xi looks like he's going to say something, but Mo waves him off. He can't- he just<em> can't</em>. Zheng Xi understands. He stays quiet.</p><p>Mo starts counting breaths inside his head. By the twelfth he feels like he can move again.</p><p>“Alright,” he tries but it doesn't sound quite right so he tries again. “<em>Alright</em>. Gotta go. I am late as fuck for my part time work.”</p><p>“We can head back to the subway,” Zheng Xi points and then pauses as a thought comes to him. “Unless...”</p><p>They both turn to Qiu.</p><p>"Fuck no."</p><p>Mo doesn't give up so quickly, “Are you su-”</p><p>“I'm not giving either one of you a ride. Take the subway. I don't care.”</p><p>Mo can barely believe this asshole.</p><p>“Are you honest to god going to follow me around for the next however-long-you-plan-on-doing-this-for and not even stop me from getting fired?”</p><p>Qiu shows no empathy.</p><p>“If you're fired for being late you’re already fired. Playing your personal chauffeur won't change that.”</p><p>Zheng Xi chimes in. “All kinds of danger could befall him while on the way. Did you know he was once attacked on the <em>subway</em>?”</p><p>“We're negotiating Mo Guan Shan kid, there's fuck none that I can do for you. It's a bike, in case you didn't notice, I can’t take you both.”</p><p>“I know. I'm just worried about my friend getting to work.”</p><p><em> “Christ</em>, teenagers are annoying’</p><p>They both keep staring at him.</p><p>“Fine, hop on.”</p><p><em> I owe you</em>, Mo mouths at Zheng Xi, and he means more than just the ride. Zhan Zheng Xi grins.</p><p><em> Not for this</em>, he mouths back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 1st Month</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>About a week into it, Mo receives a text message. Mo doesn’t even play it cool, he just immediately dives for his phone. If it is He Tian, well- Who knows when He Tian will be able to text him again?</p><p> </p><p><em> How are things </em> <em> Momo </em> <em> ? Did you miss me? </em> <em> – </em> <em> H</em></p><p>
  <em>3:47pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Fucking bastard, Mo thinks. Incredibly conceited.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Barely noticed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:47pm               - MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He texts back just like how he used to, but that feels odd now. Not enough. Since-</p><p>Christ, Mo has barely stopped thinking about He Tian. It's so fucking stupid.</p><p>Mo picks up the phone and follows it up with:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...did you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:48pm               - MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He's practically shaking with nerves. He doesn't know how to do this shit. God, Mo doesn't fucking know how to text this kind of bullshit, how to talk to He Tian now.</p><p>He doesn't know how to wait for an answer. It makes him regret ever buying a phone in the first place, and many other decisions since then.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Every minute of every day. - H</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:48pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>...phones are cool actually.</p><p>How the fuck does He Tian just say those things? Doesn't he feel embarrassed? Mo thinks he's feeling embarrassed <em>for him</em>, and he didn't even write it. He stares at the words until his phone light goes out, and then he turns it on again and stares some more.</p><p>Every minute of every day.</p><p>It's so stupid, the way He Tian makes him feel. And it's fucking effortless for him, like it doesn't cost him anything at all to tell Mo shit like this.</p><p>Still, Mo should probably text back, right?</p><p> </p><p><em> How</em>'<em>s the trip? </em></p><p>
  <em>3:51pm               - MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Yeah Mo, that is the<em> perfect </em>thing to text back. Way to go. But what the fuck is he supposed to say? <em>Me too? </em> God, fucking worse, some bullshit like, <em>I haven’t gone by a day without thinking about you since the moment you fucking made room for yourself in my life. Some days those thoughts were not very nice, mind you, or nice at all, considering you are a gigantic bastard. With an ego the size of China. But you carved out a space for yourself in my life like the space was already fucking yours. I suppose now it is</em>. See? Mo can’t text that. How’s the trip it is then.</p><p> </p><p><em> Boring. </em> <em>– </em> <em>H</em></p><p>
  <em>3:51pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Still don’t know when I'll be back. </em> <em>– H</em></p><p>
  <em>3:51pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> :( </em> <em> - H</em></p><p>
  <em>3:51pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He evens signs the sad face, Mo notes with amusement. What a looser.</p><p><em> I didn’t ask</em>, Mo almost texts back, but he stops himself. It would be just more of the same old, wouldn’t it? Picking a fight over nothing at all. Maybe it isn’t worth it anymore.</p><p>He Tian getting the opportunity to text him feels rare. Mo doesn’t wanna waste time on an argument.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Thanks for letting me know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:52pm               - MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>There’s a longer pause this time.</p><p> </p><p><em> ???????? </em> <em> – H</em></p><p>
  <em>3:56pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The fuck? – H</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:56pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Who killed you and replaced you? – H</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:56pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Christ, see if Mo makes the effort again-</p><p> </p><p><em> Fuck off asshole. I was </em> <em>gonna </em> <em>be rude and I deliberately </em> <em>decided to save the time.</em></p><p>
  <em>3:57pm               - MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> See if I make the effort again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:57pm               - MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No, no, be nice all you want. – H</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:57pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You just took me by surprise. – H</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:57pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mo doesn’t know what to say to that.</p><p> </p><p><em> Shit, I've </em> <em> gotta </em> <em> go. – H</em></p><p>
  <em>3:58pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Stay safe. – H</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:58pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Eat your vegetables. – H</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:58pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Do well in school. – H</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:59pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Think about me. – H</em>
</p><p>
  <em>3:59pm                         Unknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>And then he’s gone.</p><p>Well, great. He Tian shows up once in never, gives him with a fucking to-do list and fucks right off again.</p><p>Mo is getting one of those things right.</p><p>Well, two. Three? He really ought to study harder.</p><p>Mo hopes he's not fucking up here. That the part that interests He Tian is not exactly the fight. Maybe it is. Mo isn’t good at this.</p><p>He saves the number, just in case, but there’s not much thought behind it. He Tian will show up when he means to.</p><p> </p><p>_______________</p><p> </p><p>A month goes by of complete radio silence.</p><p>Zero. No word at all.</p><p>Buzzcut actually pokes him about it at school.</p><p>“He Tian hasn’t been coming to classes this year.”</p><p>It’s not a question, so Mo doesn’t feel compelled to answer. He just keeps working on a doodle in his notebook. Buzzcut doesn’t take that for that for the dismissal that it is.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“How the fuck would I know?”</p><p>“Well, you two- I mean.”</p><p><em> Finish that sentence</em>, Mo tells him with his eyes. <em>Say it</em>. Buzzcut visibly cowers. “You uh- we just presumed-”</p><p>“<em>Presumed what</em>?” Mo is not in a mood for this.</p><p>“…that you’re uh fr- friends?”</p><p>When Mo doesn’t immediately jump on his throat, Buzzcut grows confidant.</p><p>“Friends, yeah! You’re always hanging out together.”</p><p>“The fuck we are. The guy's just clingy.”</p><p>Buzzcut looks like he has some memory or another about the matter, but he lets it drop. “He starts a public feud with anyone that gets in your way.”</p><p>Mo will fight <em>Buzzcut</em> if he doesn't-</p><p>“Like friends!” Buzzcut reassures him. “Like friends. We just assumed you were friends.”</p><p>...Guan Shan doesn’t have much to say about that.</p><p>“He joined the gang that time,” one of the other guys reminisces.</p><p>“He’s pretty cool,” Buzzcut agrees.</p><p>Jesus Christ, did He Tian <em>pay</em> them?</p><p>“If you all miss him so much ask him yourself where he is. The fuck.”</p><p>“I did,” Buzzcut immediately tells him.</p><p>“<em>You did</em>?”</p><p>“He didn’t answer. He’s not checking his phone.”</p><p>“<em>Since when do you have his number? </em> ” Mo is about to pick a fight after all. Doesn’t Buzzcut understand the meaning of <em>danger</em>? The fuck.</p><p>“…since last year? I just asked! He smiled and said ok!“</p><p>“<em>Buzzcut </em>-”</p><p>“A couple times he'd text to ask if you already left class or stuff like this!”</p><p>Buzzcut is practically shaking with fear.</p><p>Meh, Mo decides. Whatever. Not worth the trouble.</p><p>“Then you already know he’s not picking up. The fuck do you want from me?”</p><p>“Maybe you would know something?”</p><p>He sounds so hopeful that Mo almost regrets letting him down.</p><p>Almost.</p><p>“Fuck no.”</p><p>“Boss,” Buzzcut starts carefully, “did you two have a falling out?”</p><p>No.</p><p>No, they didn't. Far from it. When He Tian shows up again, whenever the fuck that turns out to be, he’ll be hanging around Mo again immediately. They’ll be just the same. No. They’ll be- something else entirely. Mo is filled with dread at the thought. Mo can barely fucking wait.</p><p>“No, we didn’t," Mo answers finally, to get them off his back. "He’s away on a personal matter. He’ll be back soon.”</p><p>Buzzcut nods in acknowledgement, like that’s good enough for him. The guys drop the questions.</p><p>Still, Mo keeps thinking about it.<em> He’ll be back soon</em>. Mo hopes he’s right.</p><p> </p><p>_______________</p><p> </p><p>So, He Tian is currently gone.</p><p>It's not like this is the end of the world. He Tian has been around for over a <em>year</em>. Mo fucking enjoys the break. He Tian was clinging to him all the time, for fucks sake. Mo can finally fucking breathe.</p><p>It doesn't even make sense for him to care about this, except-</p><p>Except.</p><p>“I think I like He Tian,” he tries it out, just to say it out loud. The moment he says the words it feels like they’ll physically come back to him, like He Tian will have a spy somewhere and fucking hear him somehow and Mo<em> suddenly </em><em>desperately </em> <em> wants to take the </em> <em> them </em> <em> back </em>-</p><p>Zheng Xi snorts.</p><p>“Yeah, you do.”</p><p>Mo's heart is racing. He starts counting to ten inside his head to try to calm down.</p><p>He makes it to four. “Doesn’t that sound, I don’t fucking know, <em>strange</em> to you?”</p><p>“…not really? Who cares if you like He Tian?”</p><p><em> I do</em>, Guan Shan almost answers. <em>It changes everything</em>.</p><p>Then again, it doesn’t really change anything at all, does it?</p><p>“...doesn’t the man part bother you?” Mo starts again, softly, “He’s not- like- what if I don't- I mean.” Why is it so fucking hard to talk about this. Mo feels like he will spontaneously combust.</p><p>“What if you don’t like girls?”</p><p>“…yes.”</p><p>“I don’t know, Guan Shan. You’ll figure it out, or something.”</p><p>“Very helpful Zhengjing, thank you.”</p><p>Zheng Xi shows a hint of a smile. “I don’t know what you want me to say Guan Shan. Do you <em>want </em>me to be grossed out?”</p><p>No, of course not.</p><p>But… he should be, shouldn’t he? That’s the normal reaction. Zheng Xi must be grossed out.</p><p>“I want you to be honest,” Mo says finally.</p><p>“I honestly don’t care that you like He Tian.”</p><p>“Can you <em>stop </em>saying this out loud? For fucks sake.”</p><p>“…you’re the one who started this conversation.”</p><p>“Yes, and I fucking regret it by now.”</p><p>Zheng Xi snorts. And then he full on laughs and Mo is real glad that his misery is providing entertainment. Fuck Zhan Zheng Xi.</p><p>Zheng Xi's slowly laugh fades. He sighs.</p><p>“I'm not grossed out. You know I was with Jian Yi before he left.”</p><p>Mo did know that.</p><p>But it feels- surreal to hear it out in the open. They never said anything. Mo just sort of assumed, he guesses, from looking at them. He’s not sure how to answer.</p><p>“Yeah?” He tries to leave it open ended enough. If Zhan Zheng Xi wants to talk about it then whatever, but Mo won't prod.</p><p>“Yeah. He confessed to me.”</p><p>Mo can easily believe <em>that</em>. Jian Yi couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it.</p><p>“How did that happen?”</p><p>“I knew. I can’t explain.” Zheng Xi shrugs. “Just small stuff. One day I asked him about it and he confirmed.”</p><p>Mo wonders what it feels like to just- be okay with it. To just act on those things, no fucking fear for the consequences. To <em>confess</em>. It’s incomprehensible to him. Jian Yi was a brave fucking idiot.</p><p>Though maybe Mo is being unfair Jian Yi. Jian Yi might have been scared too.</p><p>“Did you mind it?”</p><p>“That he liked me? Not really. He’s my best friend. I just wanted him to be able to be honest. I figured- I don’t know. I thought he would always be here. I figured I could keep him happy until I understood what I wanted.”</p><p><em> I figured I had time</em>, seems to go by unspoken. Shit.</p><p>The last part sounds fucked up to Mo, though. <em>I could keep him happy. </em>That’s not how this shit is supposed to happen. “You were with him just to keep him happy? If he’s your friend you still don’t owe him …” He makes a vague hand gesture. <em>You don’t owe him any of th</em><em>at</em>.</p><p>“It wasn’t sex. We would just hold hands and stuff. I didn’t mind. It made me feel good. I was hoping that would be enough for him until I could figure out what I wanted.”</p><p>Mo snorts.</p><p>“I can’t believe you’re giving me details into your life, you fucker.”</p><p>“It’s not sex!”</p><p>“It’s fucking <em>handholding</em>! I don’t wanna know about your handholding. Ugh.”</p><p>Zheng Xi pushes him off his desk chair. Mo falls, but he hooks his foot on the stool that Zheng Xi is on and brings him down too.</p><p>Zheng Xi recovers swinging. Mo can feel laughter building up in him. God, he could truly use a fight. The first swing goes an inch after Mo's left ear, but the next one lands. Mo gives as good as he gets. Before Mo can truly wear himself out Zheng Xi grins, and helps him up.</p><p>The entire thing started when they were working on a school project at Mo’s place. By unspoken agreement they decide to get back on track. No more He Tian or Jian Yi talk for the rest of the day. Those fuckers can leave them alone for some hours.</p><p> </p><p>Still, Guan Shan might feel lighter. Like some weight is off his chest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. of playing with fire...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Hey.</em>
</p><p><em>11</em> <em>:47pmHe Tian</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What are you wearing? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:47pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">         He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>….</p><p>…is he serious.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fuck you.</em>
</p><p><em>11</em> <em>:48pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">        - MGS</span></em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Worth a shot.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:48pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">         He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Even from miles away He Tian has the inherent power to do the fucking most. Mo can barely believe it.</p><p>Mo changes the contact name.</p><p>Mo was getting ready for bed before the interruption. He keeps doing that, but he takes his phone with him and sets it in his bathroom counter. He’s brushing his teeth when his phone lights up again.</p><p> </p><p><em> I had the craziest dream. It was right before I left, you went over to my brother's to see me and you kissed me???????????? </em> </p><p>
  <em>11:52pmChicken Dick</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ?????????</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:52pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">          Chicken Dick</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And then told me not to die and left.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:52pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">          Chicken Dick</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mo spits out the mouthwash, still staring at the screen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I have no idea what you're talking about.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:53pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">        - MGS</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Do you ever think about it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:53pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">          Chicken Dick</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Every fucking day He Tian, what do you think?</p><p>Mo changes the contact name back.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:53pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">        - MGS</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Liar.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:53pmHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It's been 3 months, I barely remember what you look like.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:54pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">        - MGS</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You've been counting the months?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:54pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">          He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ha ha. Cheeky bastard.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’re hilarious. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:55pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">        - MGS</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I try.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>11:55pm<span class="Apple-converted-space">           He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Good for him. Mo changes into his pajamas and leaves He Tian on read. Fucker's fault for being so spoiled.</p><p>He turns off the lights and makes himself comfortable beneath his covers. He’s contemplating his phone when another message comes in.</p><p> </p><p><em> You really don’t remember?  </em> <em> I’m tall, </em><em>very </em><em>handsome. D</em><em>ark hair. I could send a picture? </em> </p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">00:02am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Before Mo can reply he does send one.</p><p>That’s- god, Mo forgets to breathe. It’s just He Tian's face, with a cheeky smile for the camera, but it’s so much. Mo hasn’t seen him in <em>months</em>. His heart traitorously speeds up. That's He Tian. Right there. Mo hasn’t seen him in so long, fuck, and now Mo gets… proof of living. Mo can’t stop staring. Fuck He Tian for making him react like this.</p><p>His hair is messy, almost like he was getting ready for bed too. But that can't be right. He Tian is in another time zone, Mo would bet, even though Mo has no clue which one.</p><p>Maybe he just woke up?</p><p><em> Oh</em>.</p><p>Oh, the thought of that – He Tian waking up sleep mussed and bed haired, lounging around in bed and texting Mo. It sends something dark curling around Mo's stomach. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.</p><p>Mo keeps looking.</p><p>He Tian's face is fine but on his neck, at the end of the picture, there’s a- bandage? Dressing for a wound. Mo wonders what kind of fights he’s been getting into.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> …say something.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">00:08am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Oh. Mo was just staring for a bit. He forgot to reply.</p><p> </p><p><em> Is that a face you would kiss again </em><em>next time you see me</em><em>?  </em> <em> Be honest, y</em><em>es, no, maybe? </em></p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">00:08am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Next time I see you I'm </em> <em>fighting you for being stupid and getting </em> <em>involved </em> <em>in </em> <em>shit</em> <em> that takes you to another country for months.</em></p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">00:09am           - MGS</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> …that’s you saying you miss me? I think that’s you saying you miss me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">00:09am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Chicken dick.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="Apple-converted-space">00:10am         </span>  – MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I'm </em> <em>gonna</em> <em> go ahead and consider this you missing me.</em></p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">00:10am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The gall on him, honestly. <em>Do whatever you want, fucker</em>, Mo thinks. Might as well.</p><p> </p><p><em> T</em><em>he </em><em>bandage- </em> <em> He Tian, w</em><em>hatever shit you’re caught up in </em> <em> ,- </em>Mo starts a text but he doesn’t know how to complete his thought. Fuck, not wanting He Tian to fucking die shouldn’t take this much effort. Not knowing what’s going on is the worst.</p><p>Mo musters up all his courage and types a different message.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Stay safe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="Apple-converted-space">00:13am         </span>  – MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I will.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">00:15am            He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Good night </em> <em>momo.</em></p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">00:15am            He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p>In for a penny.</p><p> </p><p><em> night. </em> </p><p>
  <em><span class="Apple-converted-space">00:16am         </span>  – MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>_____________</p><p> </p><p>Zhan Zheng Xi comes to pick him up for another session of <em>'kicking and screaming at He Cheng's' </em> since apparently Zheng Xi hasn't had a lifetime of those. Mo is honestly incredulous.</p><p>“<em>Why </em>are we going to He Cheng's again?”</p><p>“It's been 3 months Guan Shan. They need to tell us what's going on.”</p><p>“They told us nothing about Jian Yi.”</p><p>“They told us Jian Yi is fine and thatI’d be told if something happened to him. Which is more than we know about He Tian. Aren't you worried?”</p><p>No. Not really. But Mo doesn't know how to explain this to Zheng Xi. That his case is different from him and Jian Yi because He Tian actually finds ways to keep in touch.</p><p>He Tian changes his phones often, disappears for weeks at time - but he has a sixth sense for when Mo is about to panic. He always reaches out just in time.</p><p>Mo can’t explain this. And he understands where Zhengxi is coming from. So he might as well.</p><p>“Fine.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They go to He Cheng’s. Qiu's not far behind. He never is, these days.</p><p>This time they don't make it past the front gate so easily – Mo Guan Shan's name has been removed from the list of pre approved personnel since the last time. Mo wonders when<em> that</em> happened.</p><p>Did He Cheng find out that Mo Guan Shan kissed his brother the last time he was here and kicked Mo out of the list? Mo can’t imagine He Cheng caring one way or another. Maybe he just anticipated that they would come here to demand information and tried to save himself the trouble.</p><p>Mo Guan Shan and Zhan Zheng Xi are still arguing with the entrance security when Qiu takes pity on them and says they’re allowed in.</p><p>He Cheng doesn’t seem <em>thrilled</em> but he’s not anywhere close to murderous either. Honestly? Good enough. You take your victories where you can get them and all that.</p><p>“Teenagers. In my house. To what do I owe the pleasure?”</p><p>Zhan Zheng Xi gets straight into it. “What is going on with He Tian?”</p><p>He Cheng shows them in. “Doesn't this sound familiar? I feel like this happened before.”</p><p>“Yes, and you didn't tell us shit about Jian Yi but He Tian is your own brother. You can't pretend not to know.”</p><p>“I do know and I did tell you. He's on a business trip.”</p><p>Sure. Mo even believes it except- it is not the point.</p><p>“It's been three months,” Mo says, and keeps his personal reaction to it in check. He tries to be as objective as possible. “He's gonna miss out on the school year.”</p><p>He Cheng rolls his eyes at that. "I have contacts, Mo Guan Shan. He will not be academically damaged. Was that all?"</p><p>“How will you explain his absence?”</p><p>“Semester abroad.”</p><p>“<em>Semester</em>?”</p><p>He Cheng sighs, resigned. He gestures for them to sit. He presses a button and a housemaid comes in and asks if they wish for anything to drink. They don’t. He Cheng orders some drinks anyway.</p><p>When the drinks come in he pours himself a nice dose of whiskey.</p><p>“He Tian doesn’t show interest in following the family business,” He Cheng explains. “If he truly desires so then he has a lot of loose ends to tie up.”</p><p>“For a <em>semester</em>?”</p><p>“Do you think I want He Tian overseas for a semester?” He Cheng gestures to Qiu. “Do you think I <em>want </em>my right hand man following a teenager for a semester? He Tian wishes to keep you safe and I believe I owe him this much. It was part of his agreement to tie up ends.”</p><p>“For a <em>semester</em>?”</p><p>“At the very least. He is safe and I would inform you if he wasn’t. That’s all you need to know.”</p><p>“Ok,” Guan Shan says, and then he process this information. “Ok.” He stands up, pulling Zheng Xi with him. “Thanks for the info.”</p><p>“…wait, what?” Zheng Xi clearly wants to fight. Mo just shakes his head and pulls him outside.</p><p> </p><p>_____________</p><p> </p><p>“Ok, I'm lost,” Zhan Zheng Xi asks, when they’ve left the front gates. “Why are you being polite to He Cheng? Why aren’t we fighting this?”</p><p>“Zhan Zheng Xi, what is the point? They’re not going to tell us anything new. If we don’t push it they might be help us more often.”</p><p>“What are you talking about? This sounds like the same thing as Jian Yi and Jian Yi has been gone for a<em> year </em>-"</p><p>“It’s not the same thing as Jian Yi.”</p><p>“How do you know that?”</p><p>“Because Jian Yi is<em> gone, </em>Zhengxi, fell off the radar. He Tian texts me every other week.”</p><p>Mo hates telling him this. The expression on Zheng Xi's face is complicated.</p><p>“…he’s been texting you?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Mo can imagine what kind of thought might be going through his mind. <em> …w</em><em>hat the </em><strong><em>fuck</em></strong><em> is going on with Jian </em><em>Yi? </em> <em> If He Tian can afford to text why can’t Jian </em><em>Y</em><em>i </em> <em> ? </em>Mo doesn’t know. Maybe He Tian can’t afford to text either. He Tian has always been a believer in not doing what he’s supposed to.</p><p>This must be a cruel twist to Zheng Xi. Mo can’t begin to understand how he's feeling.</p><p>But Zheng Xi recovers. After the initial shock, his expression morphs into genuine happiness for the news.</p><p>“I had no idea. Does he say anything about where he is??”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“How about when he'll be back?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“…don’t you <em>ask</em>?”</p><p>“Not really? If he was going to say something he would have.”</p><p>That’s the best explanation he can give. They have reached some kind of… truce, with their dynamic. If He Tian could share more he would.</p><p>Zheng Xi is frowning.</p><p>“I don’t understand you two. Don’t you get worried?”</p><p>“He Tian can take care of himself.”</p><p>It is true. And at the end of the end that is enough. He Tian can take care of himself.</p><p> </p><p>_____________</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I have a confession.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="Apple-converted-space">1:15am           </span>He Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I can't </em> <em> really regret this trip.</em></p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">1:15am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I  </em> <em> know it's bad</em><em>. But we would never have gotten here if it wasn’t for it.</em></p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">1:16am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That sounds like a stupid train of thought. It's not even, what, 8 am in He Tian's timezone? If Mo guessed right the last time? And He Tian is already being a fuckwit. Mo rubs his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Are you sure about that? </em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="Apple-converted-space">1:17am            </span>– MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Momo</em><em> you kissed me.  </em> <em> You would </em><em>never have done that </em> <em> if it wasn’t </em><em>because</em><em> I was leaving.</em></p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">1:17am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> …</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="Apple-converted-space">1:18am            </span>– MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> …are you sure about that? </em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="Apple-converted-space">1:18am            </span>– MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> wait.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">1:18am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">1:18am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> WHAT</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">1:19am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> MO</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">1:19am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> MO GUAN SHAN </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">1:19am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> COME BACK HERE YOU CAN’T TEXT THAT AND LEAVE </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">1:19am           He Tian</span> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sure I can. Watch:</em>
</p><p>
  <em><span class="Apple-converted-space">1:19am            </span>– MGS</em>
</p><p> </p><p>And then Mo turns off his phone and goes back to sleep.</p><p>The next day he has 47 messages unread, in varying degrees of caps lock and exclamation points. Mo would <em>never </em>admit this to He Tian but it leaves him smiling like a fool at his phone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. understanding the stakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> You know what's stupid? - H </em> </p><p>7<em>:44amUnknown Number</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You? </em>
</p><p><em>7:44am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...that hurts my feelings.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>7:44amUnknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You walked into that one.</em>
</p><p><em>7:44am - MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p>Mo actually has to be in school in 15 minutes. Damn alarm clock didn't ring when it was supposed to. He packs up his things, with half an eye on his phone. </p><p> </p><p><em> You haven't seen me in months </em><em>Momo</em><em>. Be nice to me.</em> </p><p>
  <em>7:45amUnknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Yeah, Mo hasn't. And whose fault is that? Is He Tian expecting sympathy here? </p><p>...Mo feels a little sympathy. Dammit. Fuck He Tian. </p><p>Mo saves the new number.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What were you going to say? What is stupid? </em>
</p><p><em>7:45am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> This fucking food. </em> </p><p>
  <em>7:45amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>...which food?</em>
</p><p><em>7:45am</em> <em> – MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p>Mo has been in a little crusade to try to get more information out of He Tian. </p><p> </p><p><em> This garbage here.</em> </p><p>
  <em>7:46amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>So far it has yielded Mo zero results. He sighs. </p><p> </p><p><em> You miss </em> <em>chinese</em> <em> food? </em></p><p>
  <em>7:46am   – MGS  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I miss you. </em> </p><p>
  <em>7:46amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>...oh boy. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> My food, you mean.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>7:46am   – MGS  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> That too. </em> </p><p>
  <em>7:46amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Tough luck for him, Mo thinks. If he didn't want to miss it he shouldn't have gotten himself sent out of the fucking country. What an idiot. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sucks. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>7:47am   – MGS </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Gotta </em> <em>  dash.</em></p><p>
  <em>7:47am   – MGS </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Momo, don't leave me. </em> </p><p>
  <em>7:47amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Have to leave for school.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>7:47am   – MGS </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> ...you should have been there by now.</em> </p><p>
  <em>7:48amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>7:48am   – MGS </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Damn, good luck.</em> </p><p>
  <em>7:48amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The last message before today had been, what, over 2 weeks ago? Mo never knows when to fucking expect him. This shit is so stupid. Mo jumps every time his phone pings in with a message and it is absolutely nothing more often than not. Fuck He Tian. Fuck He Tian and whatever stupid country he's in. Mo hopes the food really does suck. </p><p>When Mo closes the building's gate behind him he sees Qiu on the other side of the street, stubbing out a cigarette and putting on his helmet. </p><p>That is something else that is stupid. </p><p>It's been, what, well over 4 months now. Why the fuck would a definitely-not-mafia muscle be following a teenager? Just to please He Tian's whims? Mo was quiet about it in the beginning but the longer it goes on the less it makes sense. </p><p>Mo walks by an alley, heads on to the subway station. Qiu is immediately on his trail. </p><p><em> You know what? </em> Mo thinks.  </p><p><em> Fuck this. </em> </p><p>Mo turns right back around and dashes for the alley. </p><p>Qiu wastes precious time turning the bike around. Mo runs. </p><p>He comes out the other end before Qiu can catch up and has to make a split decision. Left, right. Mo goes left. </p><p>He can hear the bike roaring in the distance, but not close enough. Ha. The alley leads to an avenue, and Mo blends in with some students until he can cross and duck into another alley. </p><p>There. He lost the trail. </p><p>He leans against the wall to catch his breath, still high on adrenaline. Ha. He feels laughter bubbling up on his throat. God, this was fun. </p><p>Fuck Qiu and all of them. </p><p>He takes a minute just to breathe, enjoying the simple pleasure of winning against a chase. </p><p>His phone pings again. Mo pulls it out. </p><p> </p><p><em> Find </em> <em>Qiu </em> <em>NOW.</em></p><p>
  <em>7:58am<span class="Apple-converted-space">          He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mo's laughter dies. His senses start filling in. The hairs in his arms stand on end. He burns with the awareness of- </p><p>Of eyes. Someone is watching him. </p><p>Down the alley? </p><p>Fuck.  </p><p>Fuckfuckfuck. </p><p>They’re rushing towards him. </p><p>His instincts scream: <em>run</em>. </p><p>Mo runs. </p><p>He sprints back the way he came. Qiu is making a turn into the avenue, two blocks back. Mo is so fucked. The steps behind him are closer. Mo runs to Qiu, mindless of anyone caught on the sidewalk, and Qiu stops just long to pull Mo onto the bike, and races again. </p><p>Mo doesn’t look back. </p><p>"Why the fuck would you do something so stupid?" </p><p>"I didn't know," Mo tells him. Shit. "I didn't know. Am I in danger?" </p><p>"Why the fuck else do you think I've been following you?" </p><p>Because He Tian is rich and spoiled? Shit. There's more to it. Mo tries to think clearly about this. </p><p>"Because He Tian asked you to." </p><p>"And why do you think that was? Hold on tight." </p><p>Qiu races past a red signal and takes a sharp turn another block ahead. Mo hangs on for life. No time for a helmet, he remembers. He hopes they don't crash. </p><p>Qiu's phone starts vibrating in his front pocket. Qiu adjusts his leg.  </p><p>"Pick it up," Qiu says. "If you drop it I'll kill you. Tell him you made it in time." </p><p>For some unexplainable reason, Mo is expecting He Cheng. </p><p>"<em>Qiu</em><em>, what the fuck happened? </em>" He Tian asks. </p><p>Mo gets the wind blown out of him, all over again. </p><p><em> He Tian</em>. </p><p>"I-" Mo is shaking. </p><p>It's He Tian. </p><p>It's <em>He Tian's voice</em>. For a moment, Mo fears he will genuinely drop the phone. He has to breathe deep to get himself under control.  </p><p>"He Tian. I- I made it." </p><p><em> “ </em> <em> ...Mo? You had to make it in time for what? Why did </em><em>Qiu</em><em> want me to reach you? </em>” </p><p>"Because I did something stupid. It's under control now." </p><p>"<em>What did you do </em><em>Momo</em><em>? </em>" </p><p>"I tried to dodge Qiu's trail." </p><p>"<em> ...that's stupid. </em>" </p><p>"Yes, we've established that." </p><p>They are under one or two seconds of delay. Probably because it is an international call. And Qiu is still going fast, that affects the signal.</p><p>He Tian's voice, when it comes through, seems as shaken as Mo is. </p><p>"<em>Why the fuck would you </em><em>run from </em><em>Qiu</em><em>? </em>" </p><p>"I don't know. I didn't know I was in danger." </p><p>"<em>Why the fuck else would I get the fucking mafia running security? </em>" </p><p>It's funny to hear He Tian admit his family is mafia. It funny how it’s no surprise. Somehow, Mo had already connected the dots. </p><p>"I don't know what I thought," Mo says, and he's being as honest as he can. "I didn't imagine this." </p><p><em> Why else would he get  </em> <em> the </em><em>mafia running security? </em> The mafia are He Tian's fucking buddies. As far as Mo knew he could call them in when he wanted more ice on his glass of water. </p><p>"I thought you were just spoiled," Mo tells him.</p><p>"I <em>am </em>spoiled. I’m used to getting what I want-" </p><p>“I agree with <em>that</em>.” </p><p>“-And what I want is you. So what other reason would force to me to be as far away from you as possible?" </p><p>Fuck. </p><p>Mo's heart is racing. </p><p>"I'm gonna make a sharp turn," Qiu warns, "Hold on with both arms." </p><p>Mo pulls the phone away from his ear so he can hold on. </p><p>When he brings it up again, He Tian has hung up. </p><p>"I can't take you to school," Qiu tells him, in the next intersection. "That would be asking for trouble right now." </p><p>"Take me to He Cheng's." </p><p>The two of then have business to discuss, Mo believes. </p><p>After a pointed silence, Qiu complies. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>________________ </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em> Hey, why you skipping? Missed </em> <em>the train?</em></p><p><em>9:27am         </em> <em> - </em> <em>  ZZX </em> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Not quite.</em>
</p><p><em>9:27am          - MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> At He Cheng's.</em>
</p><p><em>9:27am          - MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...any particular reason?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>9:28am          -  ZZX </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Long story.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>9:28am          - MGS </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Understatement of the decade, Mo thinks to himself. He puts the phone away. </p><p>He Cheng is already looking at him, seated on the other side of his office desk. Mo steels himself for this conversation. Now or never. </p><p>“Why is He Tian suddenly worried about keeping me safe?” </p><p>“Our enemies understand they can get to He Tian through you,” He Cheng speaks slowly, like he's talking to a child. “and to our farther through He Tian.” He makes it sound like it is the most obvious thing in the world. Perhaps to him it is. </p><p>“But why the sudden interest?” </p><p>He Cheng looks pensive. Mo suspects he won’t get a straight answer. </p><p>“We are living a complicated moment with our enemies.” </p><p>Bingo. If He Cheng bullshited any harder he’d choke. </p><p>He Cheng can see his dissatisfaction. After a moment, he elaborates. </p><p>“We have sent He Tian out of the country. Some of our enemies are watching you, in the hopes of finding He Tian the minute he is back.” </p><p>“I'm not the target.” </p><p>“No. You are just the means to an end. But our enemies don’t treat kindly means to an end.” </p><p>Nice. Mo feels the beginning of a headache. </p><p>“Is He Tian safe?” </p><p>“For now.” </p><p>“Care to elaborate?” </p><p>“Yes, Mo Guan Shan, he is. For now. He should talk to you less, if he wanted to err on the safe side, but I never expected him to cut off communications. He’s changing his phones often. I don’t believe he'll be traced.” </p><p>Mo knows that’s all he’s getting there. He changes topics. </p><p>“Is that why Jian Yi isn’t talking to Zhan Zheng Xi?” </p><p>There’s something like appreciation on Cheng’s face. Barely there. Blink and you miss it. But He Cheng seems to respect someone who can keep up. This job probably involves dealing with a lot of stupid people. </p><p>“Yes. Jian Yi prioritises the boy's safety above all else.” </p><p>“…and He Tian doesn’t prioritise mine?” </p><p>“He Tian is more reckless in his affections. I believed you knew that.” </p><p>A shiver inches beneath Mo's skin at the word ‘<em>affections</em>’. </p><p>Mo inclines his head. Touché. </p><p>“Also, Zhan Zheng Xi doesn’t have a target on his back,” He Cheng continues. “Jian Yi left well over a year ago.” </p><p>Mo extrapolates. </p><p><em> He doesn’t but I do. </em> </p><p>And,</p><p>
  <em>The extra attention won't make a difference. I'm already in this. </em>
</p><p>“The occasional texting won’t make it worse,” Mo concludes. </p><p>“No. But keep your head down. Oh, and Mo?” </p><p>“Yes?” </p><p>“<em> D</em><em>on’t run from the security trying to keep you safe </em>.” </p><p>“Yes, I see that now.” </p><p> </p><p>________________ </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He Tian is mafia,” Mo tells Zheng Xi, just to get it out of his chest. </p><p>“No shit.” Zheng Xi says and yeah, that’s pretty much how Mo felt about it too. </p><p>“You knew?” </p><p>“You mean, based on the,” Zheng Xi makes a vague gesture, “everything about him and his family?” </p><p>Yeah. Mo agrees. Fail proof argument there. </p><p>“But why is this relevant now?” Zheng Xi asks. </p><p>“I did something that resulted in danger. Like. Briefly. Now He Tian isn’t answering me and I think he’ll try to stay away for safety or some bullshit like that.” </p><p>“Sounds like bullshit,” Zheng Xi comments, but his eyes disperse. </p><p>He’s connecting the dots. Good.</p><p>Mo didn’t know if he could tell him this directly but he wanted Zheng Xi to know. </p><p>“Yeah, complete bullshit. But sometimes people stay away for safety.” Mo says, just in case Zheng Xi is having a slow day. </p><p>He isn’t. </p><p>“Uh-huh. What did you want with He Cheng?” </p><p>“Just discuss the danger related thing. How to avoid it.” </p><p>“Did he tell you anything useful?” </p><p>Mo shrugs. “Better than nothing.” </p><p>“Did he have news on He Tian?” When Mo appears confused Zheng Xi makes a hand gesture. “You know, since he’s not answering?” </p><p>Oh. </p><p>“Yeah, he'll notify me if anything happens.” </p><p>Mo doesn’t even know if He Tian is staying away or not. Since He Tian hung up Mo hasn’t tried yet. But even if he is, it won’t last. </p><p>He Tian could never stay away for long. </p><p> </p><p>________________ </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mo’s practically asleep. It's midnight when his phone beeps. </p><p> </p><p><em> Hey  </em> <em> Momo</em><em>. </em> </p><p>
  <em>00:17am             He Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mo grins. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hi.</em>
</p><p><em>00:17am              – MGS </em> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. ...and loving the flame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Sometimes I lose sleep thinking about you. - H </em>
</p><p>
  <em>6 :07amUnknown Number</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mo stares at his phone. </p><p>...good for you, Mo thinks. And you have to make everyone else loose sleep too. </p><p>He Tian is starting too early today, Mo's alarm hasn't even rung yet. Mo yawns.</p><p>Mo saves the contact. Mo can think of three different ways to phrase '...the fuck do you want me to do about that?'. He stares at his phone for a long time. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why are you telling me this? </em>
</p><p><em>6 :10am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> Idk. </em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :10amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Can't sleep.</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :10amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...thinking about..? </em>
</p><p><em>6 :10am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em>Thinking about you. Yeah.</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :10am<span class="Apple-converted-space">      He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Shit. </p><p>Hot want curls in Mo's stomach. The thing with He Tian makes Mo fucking<em> stupid</em>. Mo feels like he's all over the place.  </p><p>How can He Tian be so fucking bold? Mo has given him nothing. There was one kiss a thousand years ago. How come He Tian can just say those things? </p><p>Mo wonders what kind of BS runs through He Tian's mind when he can't sleep. </p><p>Mo really wants to know. But he will <em>not</em> ask. If you give He Tian half an inch he takes a mile. Mo doesn't know if he can handle an answer from He Tian. </p><p>He will not ask. </p><p><em> What do you think about? </em> Mo hovers over the send button. Deletes. Types again. </p><p>His brain cells haven't joined the party yet today. Mo presses enter. </p><p><em> Shit</em>. </p><p>Mo misses the good old days when he wasn't impulsive and stupid. Fuck He Tian for doing this to him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What do you think about? </em>
</p><p><em>6 :14am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> Oh </em><em>Momo</em><em>. I don't think you're ready for me to answer that. </em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :14am<span class="Apple-converted-space">          He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Fuck. </p><p>Mo’s stomach flips with all the fucking tension. He Tian <em>does</em> something to him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I'm not some fucking maiden He Tian. </em>
</p><p><em>6 :14am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> That so? </em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :14amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You're the one who started this conversation. </em>
</p><p><em>6 :15am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> I did. </em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :15amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> You're pushing back.</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :15amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Do you know what you're doing?</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :15amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>No, Mo thinks, and then pauses. Does he? He has a vague idea of what's coming. And he can't fucking resist a challenge. </p><p>Moment of truth, he guesses.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Do your worst. </em>
</p><p><em>6 :16am- MGS   </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> I think about sucking your dick.</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :16amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Fuck. </p><p>He Tian was born and put into this earth with the single purpose of making Mo's life impossible, this can't be real. </p><p>Mo is immediately imagining it, because of course he is. </p><p>That's what He Tian wanted in the first place. </p><p>Fuck He Tian so much. </p><p>The image comes in stark detail. Mo thinks of himself lying in a couch, of He Tian bobbing his head between Mo's thighs. </p><p>Thinks of the sounds He Tian would make. </p><p>God, what did Mo get himself into? </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I said do your worst. This is practically disappointing. </em>
</p><p><em>6 :19am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> ... </em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :19amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I think about pushing you to your knees and feeding you my cock. </em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :19amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Fucking christ. </p><p>It's so embarrassing – but even Mo's embarrassment gets twisted into something else within him. Something hotter. </p><p>Shit. </p><p>Mo can imagine it so well. </p><p>Mo imagines that he would let He Tian. Imagines the face He Tian would make when he realized Mo would play nice. </p><p>Mo imagines the weight. Imagines He Tian telling him that it feels good. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Too much?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>6 :23am<span class="Apple-converted-space">           He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Maybe. Mo doesn't know. He thinks he's blushing. He's so hot, everywhere.</p><p>Would He Tian hold his hair? Would Mo let him? </p><p>Shit. Mo hates being a fucking teenager. The hormones make him stupid. </p><p> </p><p><em> I'm not </em> <em>gonna</em> <em> suck your dick, you dickhead. </em></p><p><em>6 :24am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p>Mo probably will. What the fuck. </p><p>Mo's known the gist of it since the dawn of his puberty. Water's wet, sky is blue, Mo's sexual desires are intertwined with his complicated feelings for He Tian. Big deal. </p><p>He Tian lives under Mo's skin. Mo can't keep him away as much as He Tian can't stay away himself. Moth drawn to flame, or whatever. </p><p>But the reality of it is- something else. This is something else entirely. </p><p>Mo tries to internalize the knowledge. Someday, within his lifetime, he will probably get down on his knees and suck He Tian's dick.  </p><p>God, He Tian is gonna be <em>impossible</em>. </p><p>Mo has to take him down a notch or two before he can bear with it. </p><p> </p><p><em> Momo</em><em>?</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :30amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Talk to me. Did I push too far?</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :30amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> You were asking, I thought you might laugh it off in good faith. If I'm wrong just ignore it.</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :30amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>What? </p><p> </p><p><em> I don't want to push you away.</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :31amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I'm not repeating the forced kiss thing. </em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :31amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mo is out here, having dick related epiphanies, and He Tian is panicking. Serves him right. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You're fine He Tian. Go to sleep.</em>
</p><p><em>6 :31am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> ...</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :32amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I didn't push you away?</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :32amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No. </em>
</p><p><em>6 :32am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> ...</em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :32amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You are fine with a discussion that involves our dicks? Just to understand this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>6 :33amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I'm not running, if that's what you're asking. </em>
</p><p><em>6 :33am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p>Fine is the wrong word. Mo is not fine. Mo is something else altogether. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>God Momo.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>6 :33amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I'm </em> <em>gonna</em> <em> be insufferable when I get back, hope you know that.</em></p><p>
  <em>6 :34amHe Tian</em>
</p><p> </p><p>...is that news? </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Were you not insufferable at any point? </em>
</p><p><em>6 :34am- MGS </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> Ha </em><em>ha</em><em>. </em> </p><p>
  <em>6 :35am<span class="Apple-converted-space">           He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I mean it </em> <em>Momo</em> <em>. You're not getting rid of me.</em></p><p>
  <em>6 :35am<span class="Apple-converted-space">           He Tian</span></em>
</p><p> </p><p>I know, Mo thinks to himself. I knew it from the start.</p><p>He tries to pretend he feels anything other than anticipation. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You have to get back first.</em>
</p><p><em>6 :35am- MGS </em> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. a chapter where a whole bunch of people call He Tain Mo’s boyfriend and also some plot happens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Your brother told me I have a target in my back for my association with you. That your enemies are watching me in the hopes of finding you.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>3:47pm                - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Yeah.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>3:47pm               He Tian</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>They are.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>3:47pm               He Tian</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I'm sorry for getting you caught up in this. But you're safe. Me staying away right now means they can't have what they're after. They have no real interest in you.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>3:48pm               He Tian</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That's not the point, though.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn't know how to tell him that it's not <em>Mo's</em> safety that Mo worries about anymore.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. He Tian makes everything so complicated.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">____________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng is the one that sends for Mo this time. Great news, right? Who doesn't love being called in by the fucking mafia?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has zero desire of any kind to cooperate.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Just get in the car, Mo Guan Shan," Qiu tells him. "You've been to He Cheng's a million times by now.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Great argument there, Mo thinks with sarcasm. "Not a single one of those was a pleasant experience.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Didn't you make out with your boyfriend there once?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fuck you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You dipshits never closed the door. Get in the <em>fucking car</em> Guan Shan."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The fuck does He Cheng even want from me?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You want to know a great way to find out?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...getting in the car?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Getting in the fucking car.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck. Mo is not getting anywhere with this anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fine."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu came with <em>two other henchmen</em> this time, Mo sees is the car.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Great. Mo has personal security now. The trepidation in him tells him it will be a long drive.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">____________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Mo gets there, he’s led into an office. He Cheng is standing next to his desk, glaring at a phone at the table.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The security team stays outside, and closes the door behind Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus Christ, Mo is having a closed door meeting with the fucking mafia? Ain't this day sweet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng glances up at the sound and nods to Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Guan Shan is here," he says to the phone. "We can start now."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wait, what?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It must be, <em>He Tian</em>-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Great. Hi Mo. The fuck do you want He Cheng?</em>" He Tian's voice comes through the speaker phone. His tone is dry. He’s not in the mood for this either.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks he should probably be sitting down for this one. He pulls out one of the chair in front of the desk.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng starts. "There's been a development. Our enemies have cloned Mo Guan Shan's phone."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>I thought you guys had cloned Mo's phone.</em>"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We were tracking his phone from the beginning, but we didn't clone it."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wait.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He thought what?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were <em>what</em>?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's the difference?" Mo asks. He Cheng looks up at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We could tell when communication came in and from who it is but we couldn't see the contents. Now they can. They have a phone that behaves as a copy of yours.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Mo needs a new phone</em>," He Tian adds simply.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No, Mo doesn't think so. That's not what is going on here. Mo meets He Cheng's eyes across the room. This is an advantage. They'll use it as part of the strategy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Whatever He Cheng can see in his face, it makes him frown, assessing him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No, He Tian," He Cheng says, still looking at Mo. "They don't know that we are aware of this. We can manipulate their knowledge by implanting fake information in your phone texts. Not right now, but when the time comes. This is an asset."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bingo. Mo was right.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng reads Mo's train of thought somehow. He nods once.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>So you want us to keep texting while he's cloned?</em>"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yes, which is why I needed to talk to you. You have to be extra careful with what you share from now on. You can't even skirt sensitive information, like your current location-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Or any of the family's business. Yes He Cheng, I know.</em>"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"And when the timing works you need to cooperate with-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The instructions you send, Mo thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Whatever guidelines we send you," He Cheng completes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng considers Mo a moment longer. Mo feels self aware under the scrutiny.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Your boyfriend's a quick thinker,” He Cheng says to the phone. “He’s got a strategic brain. If he wants in, we can use someone like him.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wait, what is He Cheng even saying-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What the <em>fuck</em>?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pauses, thrown off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>You are not bringing Mo into the fucking mafia He Cheng</em>."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian's voice is dripping with venom. He Cheng remains perfectly calm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He's already into the fucking mafia, He Tian. He's involved with you. One way or another he'll always have enemy visibility on him."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What the fuck?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No one told Mo that part.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian doesn't answer. Shit. His silence can only be because there’s truth there.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"With physical exercises," He Cheng is still making his case. His case for Mo joining the fucking mafia. What the fuck. “-hand to hand combat training, in 6 months he'd fit right in. We could use loyal henchmen."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>You don't want a henchmen, you want an underling.</em>"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng smiles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They're both well paid,” He says to the phone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Mo, don't fucking listen to him. Stay away from the mafia</em>."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...except for you," He Cheng adds, in tone of amusement.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>...well, yeah. Except for me. Fuck you He Cheng</em>."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng dismiss it. "And for Qiu."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Yes. Don't run from people keeping you safe. That was stupid</em>."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Tremendously."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Is that all He Cheng?</em>"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That was all. Nice talking to you He Tian."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Fuck you. Mo, always a pleasure</em>."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian hangs up. He Cheng appears amused by the whole thing. Like he didn't expect any different.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders what the fuck just happened.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng looks up at him, like he just noticed that Mo was still there.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Wait, when did they clone me?" Mo suddenly remembers to ask.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Earlier today. Why?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nothing." Mo can't exactly say they had a dick related conversation that he would be embarrassed to have an audience for. Shit. He Tian needs to fucking <em>come back</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">"Alright," He Cheng says, and pockets his phone.</span> <span class="s1"> "Consider the offer," he adds.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng's serious about it then. Mo doesn't know how to feel about this.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He Cheng moves towards the door to open it for Mo. </span> <span class="s1">Something doesn't sit right with Mo. </span> <span class="s1">Mo thinks he knows what.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You are manipulating me," Mo says. He Cheng pauses. "He Tian wants to leave the family business and you want to use me to change his mind."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng stays in place. He appears to calculate his moves.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He chooses honesty. "I do. But I wouldn't offer anyone. You have traces that are an asset around here."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sure. Of course Mo does. He's disciplined, which can be fucking useful on any kind of organisation like this. Especially one that depends on loyalty. Mo is agile, he's not afraid of the darkness that follows this family. But that's not all there is to it, though-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng is still playing something.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo tries to root out the problem. Think, Mo. What the fuck is this about?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian has an estranged relationship to you,” Mo finally remembers. “You want to fix it by bringing me closer."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng schools his expression, but not fast enough. He shows surprise. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>He didn't think Mo would be able to tell</em>. Bastard. If he wants to sing Mo's praises about strategic brain then he can't be surprised when Mo uses it against him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo considers the offer. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If I joined, would I have privileged information? When He Tian fucks off to wherever would I know where it is?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...are you actually interested then?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Maybe." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Who the fuck knows. Mo certainly doesn’t.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pay checks would be nice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's one thing that hasn't clicked yet for Mo though.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You said I'd be loyal."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You have a single minded dedication to those you’re close to. You disagree?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No." He Cheng is missing the point, Mo thinks. "I <em>am</em> loyal. I'm just not loyal to you. I would follow your orders but if they conflict with He Tian, Zheng Xi, my family, or their safety, you have to know where I'll fall back to."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng weighs him for a long minute. "I wouldn't expect it any other way."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Okay. Alright.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, Mo has a lot to consider.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Guan Shan, your friend is here,” his Mom tells him, later that day.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For half, <em>half</em> a second Mo's heart stops.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But no, Mo remembers, Zheng Xi was coming over. Shit. Mo needs to get a hold of himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi is still exchanging pleasantries with Mo’s mom when he walks in. His mom’s head pops up in the doorway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Do you boys need anything? Water, tea? I made some orange juice earlier, we still have some."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I could use some water, Ms. Mo."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sure dear. Guan Shan?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No mom, thank you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They get started on a video game.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom comes back with a bit of everything anyway, plus some fruits. She has always been very attentive.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">While she's pouring the tea she looks up at them</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh, something I've been meaning to ask. What happened with He Tian? He was always hanging around. Are you boys no longer friends with him?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi looks at Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>What?</em> Mo doesn't know either. Mo shrugs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We're still friends Ms. Mo," Zheng Xi answers. "He Tian is taking a semester abroad."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh, that's very nice for him! He's always been very dedicated to his studies."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...who are you <em>talking</em> about?” Sometimes Mo thinks He Tian pays people to sing his praises.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why, He Tian dear. A semester abroad. It will look good on his curriculum.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom smiles at them and leaves, closing the door quietly behind her. Zheng Xi looks at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you going to tell her?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Which part?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi doesn't answer right away. Any of it, Mo thinks he means. All of it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You think I should?” Mo pauses the game. Zheng Xi shrugs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't know. You might feel anxious about keeping secrets.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yes. Mo does. His mom means the world to him, Mo doesn't want to feel like he's hiding something.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn't want to disappoint her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But what the fuck is he supposed to say?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sure mom, He Tian and I are still friends- and maybe something else on top of that, which is curious considering He Tian is a gigantic dickhead. Did I mention that He Tian is mafia? He's not studying abroad, he's currently in another continent to run from his enemies. Said enemies are also watching me. Because they think they can get to He Tian through me. So these days I have a target on my back and I've been followed around by the mafia and by the other mafia, the one that is on my side, isn't it nice, how there's one mafia that is on my side? I've been followed around because they are watching me to keep me safe from the other guys." Mo pauses. "Did I miss anything?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi throws a pillow at him. He is<em> amused</em>, the bastard.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Maybe not with these exact words," he says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It isn't funny until it is, and Mo wants to laugh too. He throws the pillow back. Jesus. Their lives are messed up.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Zheng Xi follows up on Mo's train of thought. </span> <span class="s1">"You should also tell her about how one of our friends has been missing for a year and a half," he suggests, "and we think it has to do with your boyfriend's mafia ties but his brother refuses to give us any relevant information.”</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>He’s not my boyfriend</em> is on the tip of Mo’s tongue. And then he actually hears what Zheng Xi is saying.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shit, if I go there I could dedicate <em>20 minutes</em> of this explanation to He Cheng. And Qiu. And how much we hate them."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We are clearly on the same side here," Zheng Xi agrees, gesturing with his hands. "Why do they refuse to keep us updated?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I know,” God, Mo <em>knows</em>. “It's not like it is keeping us safe? I already have a target on me anyway. Why the fuck can't they keep us on the loop?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is working up to anger here. He thinks half his friendship with Zheng Xi started commiserating over how fucked up their lives are. And over being the two guys from their inner circle <em>without fucking information</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not knowing is somehow much worse.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fuck them," Mo says. "I'm gonna destroy you in this."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not a subtle change of subject, as far as changes of subject go. But Zheng Xi, thank him, allows him this. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi shrugs. He unpauses the game. "I would like to see you try.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo's mom is doing laundry. Mo knows because he can hear the sounds of clothes being moved around, his mom carrying the laundry basket from bathroom to laundry room and back, humming to herself. She walks by Mo's room but Mo doesn't hear her leave. Mo turns his chair around.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom has paused in his doorway, contemplating Mo. Mo waits.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What is wrong recently Mo? I feel like you're not comfortable telling me things. Is anything big going on?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Something going on is an understatement. Mo shrugs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm considering joining the mafia because of my mafia boyfriend."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom snorts, amused.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You always did have a dry sense of humor," she shakes her head. "I get it, I don't want to sound dramatic. I'm just saying. If you want to talk I'm here."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo smiles. "I know."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She comes in and kisses his forehead. Her fingers comb through his hair for a moment or two.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is overwhelmed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly the weight of all his secrets are tying him down. Shit. She's wonderful. She deserves better.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo will not get caught up in this shit more than necessary. And one day, Mo will tell her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She gives him one last pat and moves back to the hallway. Before she leaves, she pauses in the door again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mo?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hmm."</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">She doesn't say anything right away. Mo looks up. She's folding one of the clothes in the basket, one handed. </span> <span class="s1">She sighs.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mo, is there some truth in that?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What, the mafia story? Yeah, the whole thing. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom shakes her head, trying to clear her thoughts. Mo waits.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The boyfriend part, I mean-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh, shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Shit.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Mo is on full on panic mode. </span> <span class="s1">His mom is still talking. "I just wanted you to know that it's not a problem for me. Who you date, or not. You're my son."</span></p><p class="p1">Mo hasn’t been expecting this. It's a lot, all at once.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has never felt so fragile before. He thinks he might break.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom notices, or maybe she just has a sixth sense for these things. She comes back and pets his hair again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Dear, you know that right? You're my son. Nothing you do changes that.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He loves his mom so much.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo needs to hold on so he doesn't let out any embarrassing sounds. When he's got his breathing perfectly under control Mo nods at her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. He knows.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She smiles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I actually thought you and He Tian might have been close for a while there,”his mom adds. “You never said anything and it wasn't my business, so I didn't pry. But was he, you know. Your-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No," Mo answers immediately.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking hell.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She does deserve some truth, right? He was thinking so earlier, a minute ago.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can try, for her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Probably.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">"No, uh- I wouldn't- I mean, I wouldn't use that word.</span> <span class="s1"> No, he’s not that. But-“</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This might be the hardest thing Mo has ever fucking done.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now or never. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But yeah, we are close."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hmm. You still are then? You guys said he was studying abroad." She seems curious. She doesn’t look, in any way, like she's disappointed by this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">God, Mo does't deserve her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo shrugs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah, we're still- I mean. We text."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh dear. I'm sorry the situation then. You must miss him."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo snorts. "If he got himself sent to another country that's his problem. I don't give a shit."</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">"Language," his mom warns, but it's more automatic than anything. She doesn't care if he curses. </span> <span class="s1">"Don't talk about your boyfriend like that."</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Seriously, the fuck is up with people today. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mom. You're supposed to be <em>on my side</em>."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh." His mom considers this. "I am. Well then, sucks for him that he's out of the country. We don't care. Am I doing his right?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo shakes his head. He's so fond of this woman.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah, you are."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She smiles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Take care dear. And tell me things sometimes, when you're comfortable. You're my son and I love you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I love you too."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All things considered Mo is a lucky guy.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">His mom deserves better than a mafia underling. Mo makes up his mind.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Fuck you and your offer. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>10:47pm           - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>????? </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>10:47pm          He Cheng</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em>I've been thinking about this thing we have going on.</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>8:05am                    He Tian</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em>Where you kissed me that one time and we talk about things sometimes via text.</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>8:05am                   He Tian</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">'Things.' Mo snorts. That's one way to put it.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em>What about it? </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>8:05am                  - MGS</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em>We have to be something, right?</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>8:06am                 He Tian</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">Shit. Mo drops the phone like it burned.</p><p class="p2">Dammit. What the hell? Who says these things? Doesn't He Tian get embarrassed? Mo gets embarrassed <em>from reading</em>.</p><p class="p2">Mo ignores his phone the rest of the morning.</p><p class="p2">Mo's current, fail proof, plan is to just literally not talk to He Tian ever again. </p><p class="p2">Yeah, Mo knows it won't last.</p><p class="p2">The thing about it is that- Shit. Mo is <em>so tired</em> of running from this. But he doesn’t know how to do anything else.</p><p class="p2">Mo breathes deep. He picks up the phone again.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em>Yeah. We're something.</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>3:15pm                  - MGS</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s1">________________________</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s1">(If you get too smug about this I'll block you.</span></em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">3:26pm                  - MGS</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s1">I wouldn't dare.</span></em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">3:26pm                 He Tian</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s1">Baby.</span></em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">3:26pm                 He Tian</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s1">Honey.</span></em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">3:26pm                 He Tian</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s1">Pumpkin?</span></em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">3:26pm                 He Tian</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">Goddamit.</span> <em> <span class="s1">)</span> </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. showtime</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>What will you do the next time you see me?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:47pm                   He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is being unusually sentimental these days.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Since- hmm. Since Mo said they were something. Hell. If Mo didn't know any better he'd go around thinking He Tian has <em>feelings</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Next time I see you I'm fighting you for being dumb and doing shit that gets you out of the country for months. I told you that before.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:48pm                   - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You meant it then?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:48pm                   He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I was hoping it was a joke.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:48pm                   He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>:(</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:48pm                   He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking hell.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">See, that's what Mo means. He Tian usually gives as good as he gets. <em>Without</em> taking it to heart, god knows Mo picks fights over nothing sometimes. He Tian is not usually fucking clingy about it.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Dipshit get over yourself.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:49pm                   - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Fight back.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:49pm                   - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It used to be fun and Mo misses it.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Oh baby.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:49pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>We can fight. I know how much you enjoy the challenge.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:49pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I was just genuinely wondering about that one.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:49pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Which one, what I'll do when you're back?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:49pm                 - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Mmhmm.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:49pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Get back here first, then you'll see.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:50pm                 - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Sounds dirty babe.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:50pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo's cheeks burn. He Tian is impossible.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I didn't mean it like that.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:51pm                 - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Who cares if you did Mo?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:51pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then, because he loves making Mo's life difficult:</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You know that's what we're doing here, right? That's what we're leading up to.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:51pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking <em>hell</em> He Tian. Yeah, of course Mo knows. He’s not blind. But fuck. He Tian could chill with the whole making 'Mo confront his desires' thing every once in a while.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian could chill. Ha. Good luck with that Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Yeah. I know.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>3:52pm                  - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Good.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:52pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo keeps looking at the phone. He doesn't think there's anything specific he can answer here. He Tian needs to come back first.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Am I making you blush? I hope I am.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:55pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">Fuck you.</span></em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em><span class="s1">3:56pm                  - MGS</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">Yeah. You are. </span></em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em><span class="s1">3:56pm                  - MGS</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The pause is longer this time. Mo fucking chokes on nerves waiting for He Tian to fucking reply.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Sucks that we didn't get further ahead in our relationship before I left.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:01pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>We could be having phone sex right now.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:01pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo chokes on nothing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...and He Tian is back to normal. Goodbye weird sensible guy. I barely knew ya.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Fuck you. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>4:02pm                - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>That’s the spirit.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:02pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Who says I’d want fucking phone sex???</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>4:02pm                - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I think you want it Mo. You want me to tell what I dream about.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:03pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I think it gets you hot just thinking about it.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:03pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Doesn't he know that Mo is tapped? People can fucking read these texts.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The thought of some mafia personnel perfectly composed reading their messages while He Tian makes Mo hotter and hotter, is just- it's so embarrassing. It does something to Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo stares at the text. He Tian has an inherent power to fuck with him.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>What will you do?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>4:07pm                  - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>When you're back? </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>4:07pm                  - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Push you up against the nearest wall.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:07pm                 He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You're hilarious. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>4:07pm                 - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Baby, we both know I ain't joking. Not if you let me.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:08pm                He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. Mo knows.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Settle for a hug.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:08pm               - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You're no fun.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:08pm                He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">______________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wants to talk to Qiu. He thinks it will be the easiest thing in the world, what, with being followed around and all.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo finds the black car and knocks. They roll down the window.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's not Qiu.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Who the fuck are you guys?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We are a part of He Cheng's team, sir. We are under orders to keep track of yo-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah, yeah, I know." Mo is called sir by the mafia now? Weird times, and all.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Where the fuck is Qiu?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It was his day off, sir."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...Qiu has days off?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo was just thinking of him as some robot He Cheng commands. Alright then.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes sir. His shift begins at 3 pm. We can tell him to contact you when he arrives?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This shit slaps. The sir thing. Mo could get used to it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fine. You do that."</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">____________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has a couple hours to kill then. Maybe Zheng Xi's then? It's not like he'll be up to much either.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He isn’t. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They buy some sodas on a vending machine and stop at a park near Zheng Xi's house.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's a nice day, Mo notices.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is not usually the guy to notice this shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders how long his good mood will last.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Do you miss Jian Yi?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo isn't sure if he's allowed to ask this.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He'll back off if Zheng Xi is uncomfortable. </span> <span class="s1">But Mo does want to know. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Like. Do you still miss him?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi's answer is immediate. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Every day."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thought so.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi looks at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I was wondering if it- fades. With time."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's the sound of a bird above them. Zheng Xi turns his head up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"For me it hasn't."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He has a sad look on his face. For a moment, he's caught up in a world of his own.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders what he's thinking about. Mo considers asking, but this is personal. Zheng Xi deserves his privacy. Mo won't pry.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"In the past on in the future. There's only him."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi suddenly turns back to him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian won't be gone that long. You know that right? Is that what you're worried about?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yes. But Mo isn't going to fucking say that out loud.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't actually know that he won't be long that long. I have no clue when he's coming back."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If he's coming back. Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he's coming back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Cheng said he'd be gone for a semester."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We are at the six months mark, Zheng Xi. Do we believe He Cheng?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi considers this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I wouldn't say I trust him. Not blindly. But I do believe. He has no reason to lie about this."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo sure hopes he's right.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_______________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the hours are up Qiu actually comes meet him in the park. How cute.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The fuck do you want?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Mo was being called <em>sir</em> earlier today. Good old times.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He says bye to Zheng Xi.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"See ya Zheng Xi."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"See ya. Whatever you're doing Mo, be careful."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I will."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi waves and walks back to his place. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo watches for a moment, and then turns to look at Qiu.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu glares at him, apropos of <em>nothing</em>, and crosses his arms. Fuck, Mo is surrounded by some paranoid dickheads.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The part of the park they are in is mostly empty. Mo curls in on himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why do you get away with being a dick to me and the other guys call me sir?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm second in command in He Cheng's squad. I can get away with most anything."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shit."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu grins. "I've known you all disphits for longer. I'm not impressed-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thanks."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"-where the other guys are still terrified around anyone who sleeps with the bosses."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What the fuck?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Does he mean Mo?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What on earth.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I do <em>not</em> sleep with He Cheng."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I sure fucking hope not."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo's face remains blank.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian dickhead."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...in what world is He Tian a fucking boss in your organisation?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"All of them? He's fucking heir to the throne."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wait.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Did you somehow miss the fact that your boyfriend is mafia? Jesus fuck Guan Shan, you're dumber than you look."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks there's a 'a<em>nd you look pretty dumb</em>' implied there. Mo squares up his shoulders.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I know he's mafia. Didn't think he was high-ranking. Like. Maybe He Cheng had some big job and He Tian was the brother that is involved by association."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu snorts.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What?" Mo defends himself. "I don't know shit. It was the theory I had."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu actually considers Mo for a moment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...is he going to give Mo information? Is someone <em>finally</em> going to give Mo information? Shit. Mo has been waiting for this for so long.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stays perfectly still, just in case he ruins this somehow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's a fair guess," Qiu eventually tells him. "It's wrong though. He Tian is son to the leader of the organisation. He's never been very interested in business, like He Cheng is, but he's heir. Six month ago the leader got cancer. He's been struggling with his health on and off for over a year, but he had kept it under covers. The cancer was impossible to hide. The attention turned to the heirs, He Tian, He Cheng and a bastard kid that has been sent away from the first signs of illness so he won't get involved in the politics."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…there’s a bastard? They have a brother?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yes. A kid born from a woman that is not He Cheng's nor He Tian's mother."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thank you Qiu, I really needed to know what bastard meant."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're such a shit. I’m literally giving you information kid, behave. If the leader drops dead and He Cheng assumes after him, things will quiet down. If the leader drops dead and He Tian divides power with He Cheng, even though He Tian would have no clue what to do, things will quiet down. Shit, if the leader drops dead and the bastard takes over, things will quiet down. But if he is alive, and on the <em>verge of something</em>, the situation is precarious."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The bastard is on the dispute then?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shit, you're noisy."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu pulls out a cigarette and lights it up. He takes a long drag. When he blows it out he aims away from Mo's face. Huh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The boss could legitimise the bastard up to his dying breath. People from the organisation are afraid that he will do that. It could lead to a divided claim for power."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...you're not afraid of that yourself?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nah. I've met the kid. He could barely kill a fly. He's not power hungry."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu takes another long drag.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn't know what to think. He Tian is son to a mafia family.No wonder he acts like a spoiled dickhead. It somehow makes complete sense.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu blows it out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Whoever takes over, it will be fine after things settle. But before that we will have a <em>transition period</em> into the new administration. In that moment we're vulnerable. Our enemies see the cancer and lack of new leadership yet as as an opportunity to destabilise us."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They could do that by killing an heir before he takes over?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You got the spirit. When the guy takes over he will establish lines of command. So even if he got killed after, the organisation doesn’t crumble. And we would be up for <em>fucking revenge</em>. No one would dare. But before he takes over the power structure is too fragile. They can use the precarious moment to attack, and take over power in the areas that we control."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. A lot to process.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks about the reason Qiu is here, keeping guard over Mo. He Tian. It all always comes back to He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm being watched because I have an in to one of the heirs. Fuck this.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's not all bad."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu grins.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're called sir by underlings because you have an in to one of the heirs. Shit, you rank higher than some of them when you're not even in the organisation because you have an in to one of the heirs.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. Oh, that part is nice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu has this smug look on his face. He knows. “How does the power feel?" He asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Honestly? Pretty great.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo could enjoy this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Show some respect,” Mo tells him. “I’m involved with an heir."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"So am I dickhead."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe it's not such an exclusive club.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Cheng?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sure as fuck ain't one of the teenagers."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Cheng then."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A thought comes to Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...does that make you a mafia wife then?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu slaps the back of his head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I love how you can start shit even at the cost of yourself. You are literally on the exact same position."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fuck I am. I exchanged half a dozen texts with He Tian, it's not the same thing."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh, I know all about your texts. I'm on the team that keeps track of them now."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So maybe it was a little early to brag.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What if we never talk about this again?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"How much you're willing to pay kid?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fuck you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu laughs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_______________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They go back to Mo's house.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu even gives him a ride, unprompted.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo enjoys the bike so much more this time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's just high speed, cold air blowing through the open visor in Mo's helmet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo feels invincible. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No wonder Qiu is so fucking rude. If Mo drove around a baby like this he'd probably grow a massive ego too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Qiu is ready to park in front of Mo's house he makes a seamless turn into the parking spot. Probably just to show off. Mo is impressed anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo takes off his helmet and hands it back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thanks for the ride."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Don't get yourself killed kid."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...thanks. I'll try."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo takes one step. Two.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo gathers up all his courage. He turns back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Qiu?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hmm."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Cheng offered me to join the other day."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu raises his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"And you turned him down. Viciously, I hear."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah. But it's not about that- He said with exercises, combat training, I could fit in in 6 months."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu waits him out. <em>Go on</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo gathers up his thoughts. "What kind of exercises?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...are you asking me for training?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What if I am?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Kid, you don’t know what you’re doing."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No, Mo is not defeated so easily-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Listen. You all said I'm danger. That I have enemy eyes on me now. I should be able to fucking defend myself, right? I can't do what He Tian does in a fight, taking down 5 different people or whatever, but I should still be able to hold my ground."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You think it will come down to it?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't know. I wanna be ready if it does."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu looks at him a for a long moment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're insulting my job here. It comes down to it if I'm incompetent at keeping you safe.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Aww did Mo wound his ego?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Don't take it to fucking heart Qiu. I'm asking for help. I didn't realise how deep I was in, this shit is serious. I'm getting involved in something that comes with high stakes."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe He Tian is not the danger himself, Mo thinks. But he sure as fuck is surrounded by danger.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I want to be able to defend myself."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu has this small smile at the corner of his mouth. He crosses his arms.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm not gonna go easy on you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No one fucking asked you to."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Five times a week, when I'm on shift. We're turning my 'sit-around-doing-nothing' hours outside your house into some hours at the training facility."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Okay. Good. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I have a part time job though."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We'll work around your shifts."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can do that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu throws him the helmet back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...what?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Starting now Guan Shan."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. Alright then.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu looks over his shoulder to drive out of the parking spot. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Wanna take a wager on how soon you'll be crying to quit?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo huffs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm poor as fuck. But you're on."</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">______________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cannot</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus fucking <em>christ</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can't feel his legs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is he shaking?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He might be shaking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s sprawled out on the floor. Qiu pokes him with the sole of his feet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Again. Run another round."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fuck you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pushes himself up on his elbows. Ok. Ok, he's got this. He gets up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If it helps to know, this gets easier with time."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fuck you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ok. Another round. He can do this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's other mafia personnel training at the facility. Some of them stare at Mo openly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders if he's so interesting.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stare away fuckers. He can't lift up his arm enough to flip them off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus fucking christ. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His entire body is burning. Mo <em>believes</em> this will get easier with time. He just can't fucking wait for that time to get here.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No one at the facility asked who Mo was. Mo had kind of expected to defend his presence, go on a rant-. All for nothing. Not a single person asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders if that means he has Mafia Gym Membership Card rights. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ha.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian comes with a gym membership card. Two for one deal.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the guys verbally acknowledge Mo for whatever reason it is with the same 'sir' from before. Mo could get fucking used to it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Between laps Four Hundred And Sixty Seven Thousand and Four Hundred Sixty Seven Thousand And One He Cheng stops by. He stands next to Qiu watching Mo train.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I thought we weren't hiring him?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We're not. This is a side project."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hmm."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They move on to fighting dummies. All of the running is fucking warm up, Qiu explains. You can't go for fighting before some warm up. Mo hates him so much.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu has him fight the dummy directly, and after watching for a moment he starts giving clipped instructions. Stand straighter. Pull your feet apart, so you can divide your weight if you need to raise a leg to kick. Bend your knees.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hold your fists at eye level, in front of your face. Your face is the most vulnerable part in a fight. Have your fists at all times in front of you. If you've got quick reflexes your fists work as a shield.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Don't worry about the reflexes. They come with time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo focuses on the task. On the background he can hear Qiu and He Cheng talking quietly, just within range.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh yeah, forgot to mention. I brought Guan Shan up to date."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why the fuck would you do that?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't know. I was bored? I've had the most boring job in this organisation for six months now."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...so you talk to a teenager? Jesus Christ Qiu, don't you have fucking friends?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ha ha. Funny."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng stands by and lets Qiu run this, but every once in a while he chimes in with a short comment for Mo too. Don't take your eyes off your partner. Move one feet back, so you can fall back on it if you need to dodge.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The other guys are openly watching Mo now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He must make quite the sight, with boss and second hand man giving him instructions on how to fight. Fight a fucking dummy at that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh, don't worry," Qiu reassures him. "You'll move on to people in a few months. A lot of the guys here would volunteer. They can always enjoy the exercise."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can't fucking <em>breathe</em> against the dummy. He's fine for now, thank you very much.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo's phone starts chiming in his pocket halfway through round 47. Mo makes a move to reach for it on instinct, but He Cheng waves him off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's not him. It's the plan we discussed, with the fake information."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. Mo is not disappointed. He's not.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You need to answer for this to work though,”He Cheng continues. “Hand your phone to one of the guys, they'll take it over."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...the fuck?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wants to fight on fucking principle. But. What exactly is he hoping to hide? His phone is<em> tapped</em>. Fuck. What difference does it make?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo hands the phone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One of the guys starts texting on it, but Mo can't see much of what.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is that an a, an r maybe?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng turns Mo's head back towards the dummy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fine, Mo gets it. Jesus.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu adjusts his stance.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Again."</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">__________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every single muscle in Mo’s body is screaming at him. But he feels so good. Exercise does that, right? Make you feel good? Something about the endorphins.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo just falls face first into bed. He’s so tired. He falls into an easy sleep.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">__________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Here’s a piece of information that Mo is aware of, <em>thank you very much</em>: </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wants He Tian. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's infuriating but it's true.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wakes up hard, humping his mattress, and there's no doubt in his mind what he was dreaming about.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's no one else that makes Mo feel like this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo reaches down to stroke his cock. His body is so sore. Mo can barely move. He can’t fucking think of anything else. It's always He Tian, He Tian, He Tian, like a fucking mantra inside his head. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>He</em> <em>Tian</em>-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wasn't like this before He Tian. He Tian fucking changed him into something to suit his tastes. Something a little dirtier.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's so embarrassing, Mo thinks. He can't fucking stop. <em>Fuck</em>. Mo thinks about that particular brand of embarrassment that He Tian makes him feel. Embarrassment that burns hot, that makes Mo harder than anything else.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Ah</em>, <em>ah</em>"</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He Tian has been provoking Mo so much these days. Mo wants- </span> <span class="s1">Mo just <em>wants</em>.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Ah</em>-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks about He Tian coming back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Would he put his money where his mouth is? After all the provoking, the jokes, would he fucking own up to it? What was his last one-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>push Mo up against the nearest wall.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Would he touch Mo like he means it? Like he doesn't dream of anyone else either.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo fucking <em>hopes</em> he doesn't. He's already done this to Mo. Mo can't be the only one going out of his mind here.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo makes a fist and pushes up into it, quietly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ah-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders if He Tian would touch him like this too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe not like this. He Tian is a fucker with a power kink. He'd make Mo beg first.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Mo thinks about himself <em>begging</em> He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Please</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wants so bad.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wasn't this perverted before He Tian. The fuck did He Tian do to him?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pushes his face up the pillow and bites back a moan.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian would go slow, just to tease Mo. Hold Mo's pleasure just out reach.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he wouldn't be happy with just pleasing Mo. He'd take his, too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Ah</em>-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks his dream was something like this, him face first on a pillow, but with He Tian's weight between his thighs. Pressing him down.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's so unfair. How He Tian can just share whatever he's thinking and leave Mo like this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Of course I knows this is where we're heading, you fucker.</em> Mo knows. But shit, the reality of it is overwhelming.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks this might've been easier if He Tian was there with him. Something to focus his frustration on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo bites his lip. Mo wants-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can't make Mo feel like this and fuck off to wherever. Fuck him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dammit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wants so bad.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo comes quietly, hiding his face in the pillow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo's legs are shaking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He brings up his hand and stares at the mess he made.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wasn't like this before He Tian. He's He Tian's responsibility now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_______________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo hears nothing about the He Cheng’s texts yesterday. Did they work? Did He Cheng’s plan work? They tell him nothing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Trepidation fills Mo’s stomach.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nothing fucking happens at all. Mo goes to school, trains, takes the night shift at work. He’s gonna go fucking crazy from the lack of information.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian, just to really twist the knife, gives him a week of radio silence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders if it is on purpose. Last time He Tian asked about how Mo would react when he came back. Did Mo say anything wrong?</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Shit. He Tian makes him so fucking stupid. Fuck him. </span> <span class="s1">Whenever the fuck he feels like showing up again he will. See if Mo cares.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_______________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo, unfortunately, cares.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>What is up with you? </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>4:47pm            - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Did I say anything?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:47pm            - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You’re going soft pumpkin.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:49pm            He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Fuck you.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>4:49pm           - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">See if Mo ever fucking bothers again.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I’m fine. Just busy these days.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:49pm            He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>With business?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>4:49pm            - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Yep.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:49pm            He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...He Tian’s so entertained by work he can’t even text? Okay.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Actually no, the fuck? The's not how He Tian goes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did he meet anyone new-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi said it didn’t fade for him with time. Does it fade for He Tian?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. The distance makes Mo fucking dumb.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It might be possible that he misses He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_______________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>No, but seriously.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>6:49pm            He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>What will you do the next time you see me? </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>6:49pm            He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>The fuck are you on about these days?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>6:49pm            - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I really need to know Mo.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>6:50pm            He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Why?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>6:50pm            - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Because your shift ends in ten minutes.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>6:50pm            He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What? What the fuck does that have to do-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh my god.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh my <em>god</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before Mo even knows what he's doing he is taking two steps at a time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can hear his boss complaining in the background but it just doesn't <em>matter</em>, Mo pushes open the backdoor, nothing else matters except-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hi," says He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>He Tian</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. told you i'd come back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can hear his boss complaining in the background but it just doesn't <em>matter</em>, Mo pushes open the backdoor, nothing else matters except-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hi," says He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>He Tian.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Is Mo shaking?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian<em> fucking real</em>. In front of him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has the impulse to touch just to make sure it's not someone fucking with him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…and there's literally nothing stopping him from touching. He Tian is <em>here</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo-”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo's heart will beat <em>right</em> <em>out of his fucking chest</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo moves on automatic. It’s barely a thought. Mo takes the two steps separating them and sinks into He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian sighs. His hands come around Mo’s waist and pull him closer. He leans his head into Mo’s hair and breathes him in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is <em>back</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What is this?” Mo’s boss asks behind him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian doesn’t pull away. "Guan Shan has a personal matter to attend to sir. He'll leave early today.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll have to take it out of his pay."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...ten minutes? No, you won't."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can't see what kind of expression his boss has but Mo bets it's something precious. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian has a dark aura when he wants to. Even people who don't know him can understand enough to be afraid.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Okay," Mo's boss agrees quietly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has to admit it's funny. Mo wishes he had seen his face. Between the two of them, if Mo had to call someone boss, he thinks it should probably be He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian puts on a polite smile.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He'll be back on time for his next shift."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo's boss might nod in agreement or do fuck none, as far as Mo knows. The door closes behind him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls away. He looks deep into He Tian's stupid fucking eyes. And then he slaps him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ow. What was that for?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"6 months? Fuck you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mo, I'm touched. I didn't know you cared."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Fuck </em>you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I do love when you're angry baby."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get fucked."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hey," He Tian reaches for him. "Momo. I'm here now.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can’t just waltz in here like fucking nothing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was gone for <em>six-fucking-months</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pulls him up. Aiming for a kiss? Shit. He was gone for <em>six-fucking-months</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo bites He Tian's bottom lip just to pick a fight. Get fucked. He Tian hisses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shit. You’re hissy today. You’re gonna take three steps backwards. Try not to fall on your ass.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pushes softly. Step one, step two, and... there, Mo's back meets the wall behind him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo leans his weight on the wall and stares up at He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You got me where you wanted me. What now?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian hovers. Almost like he’s afraid to touch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...you've never been hesitant around me before,” Mo points out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The stakes were never so high. I'm terrified of scaring you off.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shouldn’t be, Mo thinks. Fuck knows they’re past that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'm here, aren't I?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smiles at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He still doesn’t fucking <em>move</em>. Mo is going crazy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…fuck He Tian, are you gonna make me fucking beg?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian tilts Mo’s head up and kisses him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Yeah</em>, Mo thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian leans into him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is fucking drunk on desire. What the fuck does He Tian <em>do </em>to him?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pulls back and looks at Mo like Mo is a fucking Christmas gift, wrapped up for him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Mo knew he’d be impossible about this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo tangles up his hands to He Tian's hair and fucking pulls.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Ah-</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He Tian hisses and then he moves </span> <span class="s1">his head down. He pauses an inch away from Mo's neck. Shit, the fuck is he waiting for? Mo holds his hair tighter. He Tian's lips catch on his skin.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Fuck</em>, He Tian<em>-</em>"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian fucking kisses the skin and starts work on an impressive hickey.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is so sensitive. He has the instinct to curl up on himself in self defence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo ignores the instinct. He tilts his head back and lets He Tian mark his skin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fuck- <em>ah</em>-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls on He Tian’s hair <em>hard</em>. He Tian doesn't move an inch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smirks against his skin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Go on babe. Tell me you didn’t miss me."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking conceited dick. Mo pushes up against He Tian's hips.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Gonna come on your pants five minutes after seeing me babe?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shut up."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian feels so good. On Mo's next push He Tian pushes back with his hips, lets Mo feel just much he's affected.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Still pretending you don't care?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No He Tian, I'm not- I don't fucking think of anyone else. What the fuck do you think?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo hangs on to his hair. <em>Fuck.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The words come easy to him. Like he thought of them a million times.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What the fuck did you do to me?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pushes down hard and fucking breathes. Mo can hear him panting in Mo's ear.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shit Mo. Fucking hell.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With what looks like great effort he stills his hips.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We don’t actually get to come though.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...why?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We gotta stop at a grocery store, there's literally nothing in my house. Can't do that with a visible wet spot."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The fuck we do."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I can't even take a shower love. Gotta buy soap, toothpaste, some basic food. All before I head home. There's nothing there."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sounds like a you problem. Who told you to stay away for six months?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian grins at him. His hand comes up to poke Mo's cheek.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you fighting for your right to come Momo?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo blushes. "Shut up."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo will not whine.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But fuck, He Tian got him so worked up. This isn't fair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is still grinning at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You look so sad."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shut up. I didn’t know this was a fucking challenge.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not. We’ve got all the time in the world.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian looks serious now. Like the joke is over. He pulls Mo’s head up and kisses Mo again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s slower this time. He Tian coaxes Mo’s lips open and slips his tongue inside.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Fuck</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels so <em>good.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is burning. The thigh that He Tian pushed against him is a fucking tease. Mo presses up against it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The hair beneath Mo’s fingers is velvet smooth. Mo tugs. He has no intention to pull He Tian away, Mo just wants something to hold on to.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian ends the kiss and sighs against his lips.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ve wanted this for so long.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. Mo knows.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shit. Let’s find a fucking grocery store then.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_____________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They stop outside at a 24/7 store on He Tian's block. He Tian hands him a black card.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I gotta smoke, the ten-hour flight drove me crazy. Can you do the shopping?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The fuck I can-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great! Here’s what I need. Soap, toothpaste, two toothbrushes,-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why two?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian looks done.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Don't play dumb."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...I don't need a toothbrush."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Gross, but okay. That's your choice."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo flicks him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shut up- I don't need a toothbrush in your house."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah Momo, you do."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo suddenly feels embarrassed. The weight of all this is overwhelming. Mo looks away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian puts a hand beneath Mo's chin and tilts his head up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo meets his stare.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We're something, remember?” He Tian tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian tries to convey the importance of this with his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo remembers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fine. What else?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian keeps looking for a moment. To make sure they're alright, Mo thinks. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They are. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo waits him out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Okay," He Tian says finally. "What else, let me think. Shampoo, hair conditioner, and just food in general actually, if you're in the mood to cook get what you need for that, if not those microwave meals work. I'm not feeling picky today."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Got it-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Coffee. Detergent. Or disposable plates, whatever catches your eye first. Oh, and can you get those crunchy chocolate bars?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...should I be taking fucking notes?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're a smart guy, you'll remember. Card's password is 2701."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The password. To his black shiny card. Jesus.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"How do you know I won't just run with this?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks at the card. It’s so pretty.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You can have it whether you run or stay. Stay with me."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. He Tian is impossible. Mo can't even joke anymore.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Small price to pay, maybe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll stay. Be right back.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smiles. He lights up a cigarette and settles in to wait.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_____________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By there's nothing in his place He Tian <em>really</em> meant it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's furniture and... nothing else. Not that there was much before, but some scattered belongings really give a sense of home.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now there’s fuck nothing. The kitchen chairs still have price tags.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think they were using the place for some mafia business. I was away for long enough. My clothes were in a storage room. When I was ready to come back they just dropped off the things here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can see that.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a pile of cardboard boxes by the entrance. His clothes? He Tian pokes around at one of them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ve got a towel in here somewhere. What did you decide for dinner?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is still carrying the bags. Just to feel useful he takes them to the kitchen. “Real food. Not the microwave stuff.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nice. I don’t have cash here but I’ll transfer you something.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo stares at him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian notices it and frowns. “…I pay you when you cook?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is something else.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">God knows Mo could use the money. But he’s not here on work.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What is this then?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…something else.” Mo won’t elaborate. Fuck He Tian, he can read between the lines.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smiles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay. I’m gonna take a shower. I just came back from a 10-hour flight, I’m gross. Make yourself at home.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Okay. Alright. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can do this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo waits until he can hear the shower running to call home.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's just his mother. Why does he suddenly feel so nervous?  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She doesn't pick up on first, second, or <em>third</em> ring and Mo is about to hang up. An attempt was made, he reasons with himself. He can safely say he tried- </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She answers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hello?" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hey mom. Just calling to let you know I'll be late today." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Where are you?" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...He Tian's." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, he’s back?!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This is the timing for her to say something. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She will at any minute now. She will-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She doesn't. Huh. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She just hums, like Mo being with He Tian reassures her instead of anything else.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well. His mom is weird.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you gonna sleep there?" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"..what?" Wait, what? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo feels his cheeks blushing. They haven’t even crossed that line yet, why is he embarrassed <em>now</em>? "No mom, I'll come back." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh, alright then. Be careful when walking home at night. Stay safe out there." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Of course." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thank you for letting me know dear. Say hi to He Tian for me!" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I will not-" Aaand she hung up. Mo doesn't get how He Tian managed to win over his mother only meeting her a couple times. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo starts on dinner. Rice, some vegetables, beef stir fry. He’s turning off the stove when He Tian comes up behind him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That looks good.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian hovers behind Mo’s back but he doesn’t- he doesn’t touch. Shit, he’s gonna drive Mo crazy today.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were <em>never</em> hesitant around me before.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The stakes were never so high.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'm <em>here</em> He Tian” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders how many times they’ll have this conversation.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian sighs. He leans his head on Mo’s shoulder and pulls Mo back into him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, that’s what Mo meant.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s hair is still wet. He looks fucking- stupid<em>,</em> shit. Mo reaches out behind him to draw He Tian’s head closer.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Food is ready, “ Mo tells him, just to say something.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay. What did you decide about the plates?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I bought<em> detergent</em> He Tian. We’re not gonna eat on disposable plates because you’re too lazy to do the dishes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I like your trust in me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You <em>will</em> do the dishes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bossy.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Breathe baby. I believe you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They take out dishes and settle in for dinner. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is fucking nervous all of a sudden, a stupid voice in the back of his mind going <em>this is a date, this is a date, this is a date, this is a date</em>. Mo tells the voice to shut the fuck up. It’s just He Tian. Mo won’t fucking panic here.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">During dinner Mo pointedly avoids any questions about He Tian’s work, even though he’s dying to know. <em>How did the trip go? What’s gonna happen with the power structure in the organisation?</em> Mo doesn’t ask.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He just eats and tries to only look at He Tian when He Tian isn’t openly looking at him so Mo avoids the intensity there. <em>He Tian is back</em>. He Tian is right here.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_____________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo tries to procrastinate this as long as possible. But at some point, around He Tian’s third yawn, Mo just cannot deny. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s getting late,” Mo says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian nods, and goes to the cardboard boxes again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let me find you something comfortable to sleep in. Some sweaters, a t-shirt.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Mo takes a moment to register. </span> <span class="s1">“I’m <em>not</em> sleeping in your clothes He Tian.”</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…okay. Sleep naked then.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian. I’m not sleeping here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why not?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ain’t that a question. Mo doesn’t know, it’s just- <em>so much</em>- </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Too much</em>. He Tian can’t just waltz into his life six months later and expect Mo to act like he’s fucking boyfriend.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have to go He Tian.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo needs time to process this. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian comes closer and hugs him, holds him tight.Shit. Mo breathes deeply and holds on to him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Okay. Okay. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have to go,” Mo says again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls away. He takes one last, lingering look at He Tian's face and walks out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He closes the door behind him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">-and immediately leans against a wall for support. Mo's knees threaten to give out on him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He left.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels like the moment he stops looking He Tian will just disappear. What if Mo comes back tomorrow and He Tian is just- just gone, all over again, his house empty of any trace of him-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can't <em>do this </em>again right now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can't do this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he walks back in He Tian raises his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Not a word," Mo tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright."</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I will sleep over. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>10:37pm.           - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Oh. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>10:38pm.           - Mom</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Wear condoms! </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>10:38pm.           - Mom</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mom, I swear to god-</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_____________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In spite of the tension and all the fucking promises, they don’t do anything. Mo puts on <em>He Tian’s clothes,</em> brushes his teeth with the <em>second fucking toothbrush</em> and it’s all so fucking new. Mo needs to breathe. He bats He Tian’s hands away when He Tian reaches for him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> He Tian fucking pouts. Mo ignores him and settles in for sleep.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were gone for six months He Tian. I'm fucking mad at you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smiles. “I missed you too.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'm so <em>furious</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. I really missed you too.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian takes off his clothes, because apparently he sleeps in fucking <em>boxers</em>, and that’s <em>comfortable Mo, that’s just how he goes, he can’t change it</em>- and settles in for sleep too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo watches him across the bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you mean it?” Mo asks him, just to get it out of his head. “What you said in your texts?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian looks at him. “I don't know which one you’re referring to but yeah. I meant every word.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t know which one he’s referring to either. Maybe the one about missing him every day.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian scoots over quietly. Like he’s afraid of spooking Mo. Fucking asshole. When he reaches Mo’s side of the bed Mo makes room for him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you?” He Tian asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mean it?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smiles. Like that’s it, case closed for him. Mo wonders what it’s like to feel so confident.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It takes He Tian no time at all to fall asleep. He just came back from a long flight, Mo remembers. He must have been exhausted. Mo watches him, and lies awake in the dark for a long time.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_____________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is drooling on He Tian's chest. Serves him fucking right. Mo doesn't know what he's done but he probably deserves it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's an annoying fucking ringing in the background. Mo keeps his eyes closed. If Mo ignores the problem it will go away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ding. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ding. Ding. Ding.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Ding</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pokes He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hmm."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian, the door."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hmm?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus, he's useless. The sound is going to drive Mo crazy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo hides his face into He Tian's shoulder. He Tian's hand comes up automatically to pet Mo's hair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">DING.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian, the fucking door."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Can you get it?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is he serious?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's your fucking house dude."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nothing. No reaction from He Tian at all.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is he faking sleep?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo opens one eye.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He's faking sleep.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus He Tian is annoying.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ding.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"FINE," Mo says, more to the door than He Tian himself, and drags himself out of bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wipes his face. He chances a look back. He Tian is lying belly up, eyes firmly closed. He curls up around the space that Mo vacates, like <em>he's seeking Mo’s heat</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo just needs to stop and stare.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What a bastard. Mo might be attached, or some bullshit like that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Ding</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus fucking christ people are annoying. Who is even up at, what, Mo looks around for a clock. He doesn't find one but he spots his phone on the floor, on the way to the door. Mo bends down to look. 8-oh-fucking-5 in the morning. He hopes this is about murder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo opens the door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu rings one more time, because his finger was already at the bell.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Can Mo... murder... a man?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Can he follow through? Can he get away with it?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu ignores whatever ice he can see in Mo's stare and puts on a smile.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Morning. Would you be so kind as to get He T-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo closes the door. He's not one step away when the ringing starts again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He opens up again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>What</em>?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian didn't stop by for debrief after his mission. He needs to share some information that might be time sensitive."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That sounds like He Tian alright.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo walks away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He leaves the door open. Qiu comes in after him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian," Mo pokes him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian moves away. Typical. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's your fucking family He Tian. This ain't my problem to deal with."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu snorts. “We’re all in-laws Guan Shan, including you. You should be nicer."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...should he though?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo frowns. He turns to He Tian and pokes him again. "He Tian, aren’t you estranged from your brother?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah," He Tian answers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks at Qiu and shrugs. "I don't owe you shit then mate."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu shakes his head. Point ignored, probably.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pokes He Tian’s head again but it turns soft, Mo slipping his fingers between He Tian's hair, almost like a caress.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Mo is getting fucking soft.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What is your feud with He Cheng anyway? What did he do?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He killed my dog."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...the fuck?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Among other things." He Tian doesn't open his eyes but his expression is harsher now. Mo pulls his fingers away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why the fuck would he do that?" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The intensity of Mo's anger leaves him fuming. Mo is fucking furious.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu seems self-aware now. Guilty. He fucking should be. What the fuck?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's one of the lessons you have to learn,” Qiu says, “when you lead lives like ours. The world is dangerous-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Bullshit," He Tian cuts him off. "The lesson is not the world is dangerous. The lesson is don't get attached or I'll kill your dog."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus christ.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What the fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders how He Tian allows this thing to happen, what they have between them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How He Tian still sticks around, if he’s had such bad references. Mo thought he was the one with issues.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu looks at He Tian's form in bed. “He Cheng’s not following those orders anymore He Tian. He goes out of his way to protect the things you care about."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nothing like a guilty conscience."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian opens his eyes and finally gets up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He finds a white shirt next to the bed and dresses it, pulls out some pants from one of the boxes. He stops close to Mo and kisses Mo's head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Go back to sleep. This will be boring. I won’t take long.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He ruffles Mo's hair and walks away. He brushes his teeth for two minutes and leaves with Qiu.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Mo controls the impulse to panic.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They literally offered Mo a job, Mo reminds himself. If Mo turned it down he can’t be offended when he’s not included in a meeting. It’s none of his business anyway. He Tian will be annoying him again before he has time to notice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What if he’s not? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What if He Tian is gone for another six months?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">God. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The fuck is Mo thinking. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck He Tian for turning him stupid. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo decides to follow He Tian's advice. He pulls back the covers and lies back in.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_____________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, he doesn’t just sleep. That would be too easy. The early commotion means that Mo is too active to really get in the mood. He slips in and out of consciousness, never in a deep sleep.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has no idea how long it’s been when he hears the door again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian drops his keys in the kitchen, takes off his shoes, socks. Takes off his jeans and shirt again. Mo feels the exact moment the bed dips, and He Tian joins him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Done?” Mo asks him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian hums in agreement. He makes himself comfortable, like he’s ready to just fall back asleep.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s too fucking early. Mafia business shouldn’t start until twelve,” He Tian tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo agrees with that one.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo lies awake, watching him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian opens his eyes. Shit, he's beautiful.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shut up," Mo tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I didn't say anything."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shut up."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian grins, closes his eyes again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo clears his throat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shut up. Maybe I was watching you, the fuck is it to you?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I literally didn't say anything."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You were going to."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hmm."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian stretches, pulling both arms over his head. He counts to ten out loud and there's a satisfying click.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm very pretty," He Tian tells Mo. "Look your fill."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian stretches his legs next, still spread out in bed like he does in sleep. He's like a cat when he’s lazy, Mo thinks. Or perhaps a bigger feline. Wild and dangerous.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo always did like danger.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels himself curling closer, in spite of himself. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian opens his eyes again when Mo tucks his head on He Tian's shoulder. After a moment, He Tian brings his hand up and pets Mo's hair. God. That- that feels really good actually. Mo is okay with that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is watching something around Mo’s face. It’s fucking distracting. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks up at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You haven't seen yourself in a mirror yet, have you?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What? ...why?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I haven't left bed."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I figured." He Tian leans down and presses a kiss to Mo's neck. "You've got an impressive hickey here-" a kiss, "here," He Tian's lips move down, following a trail. Shit. "...and right here."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian moves back to watch his work. Fuck, Mo completely forgot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shit, I <em>opened the door</em>."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah." He Tian has this smug fucking grin on his face. "Yeah, you did. You must have made quite the sight."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You didn't think to fucking <em>tell me</em>?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You felt it when I was leaving them yesterday.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck him. Mo didn’t even think about this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m so fucking angry at you," Mo tells He Tian. He Tian laughs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That so baby? How do you wanna take out your anger?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmm.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo feels himself blushing. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is so- tired. Tired of playing stupid. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is <em>here</em>. Fuck running from this. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck running from this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“With my hands.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is quiet for a moment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fuck baby."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo moves up and opens his mouth, just a little, lets his lips catch on He Tian's neck like He Tian did yesterday. He can feel He Tian shiver. Mo bites, barely there, and then harder. He Tian's hand tightens on his hair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah, with my- my hands on you."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shit Mo."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo moves his leg between He Tian's, so he can fit more comfortably against He Tian's side. He Tian is already so hard, fuck, and he's not wearing fucking clothes. There's just his thin fucking underwear. Mo wants so badly to push it off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian raises the thigh that Mo is straddling, so Mo is pressed up tighter against his skin. Shit. It feels so good. Want burns in Mo's stomach. Mo pushes down once, and then twice, three times. He gaps against He Tian's neck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mo." He Tian's voice is barely a whisper. He reaches down and pulls Mo by the hips. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck. That's- that's okay, He Tian is allowed to do that. Mo's next push is harder, uncoordinated. He Tian's boxers get caught and pulled back, just a little.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mo, <em>please</em>."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian knows how to beg. Who knew? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The rush drives Mo crazy. He Tian should beg him every day. He Tian should play nice and beg him, He Tian should-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo reaches down and finally pushes He Tian's underwear down. He Tian gasps in his ear.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ah, ah-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Mo hasn't even touched him yet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is- fuck, He Tian is big. Bigger than Mo, the bastard.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He's flushed red, veins popping out. Mo can't stop looking at his dick. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mo for <em>fucks sake</em>. You're killing me."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck, Mo is going. No need to fucking rush him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo licks his hand and reaches down for He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wraps his hand around the base. He Tian fucking moans in Mo's ear and pushes up into his hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo could have him like this every fucking day actually. He Tian looks fucking good lying back, letting Mo do as he pleases.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo strokes up slowly, barely there. Just to see what He Tian will do.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pulls Mo by the ass and hauls him closer. <em>Fuck</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Ah</em>-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Stop fucking teasing babe."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. Yeah, Mo will. Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo's next stroke is harder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian fucks up into his hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Fuck</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is fucking <em>shaking</em>. His arm will give out on him soon.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t-“ Shit. He doesn’t know how to explain.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you want me to take over?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…yeah. Yeah. Mo does.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay. Lie back,” He Tian tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is blushing so hard. He has never fucking felt so hot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He leans back against the bed and He Tian follows him, settling on top of him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo nods.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's- yeah, fuck, it's very good.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian's boxers got caught somewhere around his knees. He kicks them the rest of the way off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Make room for me Momo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What? He Tian is already on him, how else is Mo supposed to-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks away, his embarrassment burning hot. He opens his legs. He Tian settles in the V between his thighs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first push knocks the air out of Mo's lungs. Mo thinks he could come like this, still in He Tian’s clothes, just letting He Tian pin him to the bed. He feels so hot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He's letting out gasps and he can't stop himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ah, ah- He Tian."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Like this?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shit-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian's weight between his thighs feels so good.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pull your shirt up, Mo. I wanna come in your skin.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Fuck</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls the shirt. He Tian’s cock slides against his stomach, nothing in between them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Ah-</em>“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s pre come in Mo’s fucking chest. Each push of He Tian’s hips pins Mo down. His legs keep Mo spread out for him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian for fucks sake-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian opens his legs, forcing Mo that much wider. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Fuck</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck, Mo burns with embarrassed. He's so hot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pulls Mo’s hand down, until Mo is grasping He Tian’s dick into his stomach. He Tian starts thrusting lazily.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>He Tian</em>-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian meets his eyes. His thrusts get wider, with intention. Mo holds him tight.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pushes down hard one time, and another, still keeping eye contact. Mo hangs on. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck, Mo- <em>Ah</em>-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian fucking <em>comes</em>. Mo can feel it shooting up Mo’s skin. He Tian makes little aborted motions with his hips and stills.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Mo imagines what he must look like. Hair a mess, hickeys, He Tian’s fucking come on his skin. Mo will <em>not</em> beg but he really, really wants He Tian to touch him too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…He Tian, don’t be fucking selfish.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian laughs. “I won’t Momo. Give me a moment.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo gives him a moment. Mo brings up his hand to stare at He Tian’s come in his fingers. Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian stares too. He leans down and licks one of Mo’s fingers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pulls the finger into his mouth, licks it clean. Moves on to the next one. He Tian really, truly, will drive Mo crazy today.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian, <em>come on</em>-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Alright, Mo. You win.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then he slides down in bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, Mo can't fucking take him. He Tian's purpose in life is to drive Mo insane.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian looks at him, waits for permission. Mo nods. He Tian slides Mo’s pants down and pulls out Mo’s cock.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, <em>ah</em>-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo's hands fly to He Tian's hair. He holds on tight.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first lick is barely a tease. Mo is fucking <em>shaking</em>. His legs move in to cage He Tian’s head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shh, I’ve got you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo lasts nothing at all. He’s wound up so tight. He Tian just mouth the head, suck a little, and Mo is fucking gone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s orgasm hits him like nothing before. White fucking sparks exploding behind his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Finally</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not just for today but for how far they’ve been building this up. Mo has half a mind to fucking thank him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You good babe?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. Very good.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls him up the bed and kisses him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kinky,” He Tian tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know what Momo? This one time I’ll listen.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking thank you.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_____________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is somehow still lazying around in bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn't have time for that. He stares at his reflexion in the mirror.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How the fuck am I supposed to hide these?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don't know Momo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wear a scarf."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It's spring. And what the fuck would I do indoors?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Start a trend?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo closes the bathroom door on him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">People will fucking ask. The fuck is Mo supposed to do?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian appears on the bathroom doorway again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's not a big deal Mo."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm fucking mad at you He Tian, don't try me."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian sighs. He comes up behind Mo and leans his head on Mo's shoulder, wraps up his hands around Mo's waist. Mo watches their reflection in the mirror. They make quite the sight. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No more then. If you really hate it. I'll stop."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...what?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn't know how to do this. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All Mo has ever known is being angry. They're gonna burst into flames if He Tian doesn't indulge his anger anymore.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Does Mo have to learn how to tell him when his anger is just there because-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Because Mo doesn’t know how to do anything else, it doesn't mean that he cares-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They still have a lot to figure out. No one said this was easy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do what you want to. What’s for breakfast?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One step at a time, Mo supposes.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. A thought on happiness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They eat breakfast standing up on He Tian's kitchen. The chairs are... right there. It really wouldn't be hard to reach them. But nah, too much effort. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo fried dough sticks. They don’t have much for sauce besides soy though. Quite the traditional Chinese breakfast, Mo thinks. He Tian will have to stop for full on shopping eventually. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is watching Mo, nursing a cup of coffee.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Did you accept He Cheng's offer?” He asks eventually.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is confused for a moment. What?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The job.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No, I turned it down."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Good. Stay away from all that bullshit."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...is He Tian fucking serious?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo just has to stop and stare.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian you were gone for six months."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...yes?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Due to that bullshit."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...do as I say, don't do as I do?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking shithead.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls himself up into a counter and dips his stick into the bowl of soy sauce.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian moves closer to Mo, leans his arms on Mo’s thighs. Mo watches.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you spill hot coffee on me I’ll kill.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wouldn’t dare.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Whatever. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo takes another bite out of his food. With the hand not holding the coffee He Tian opens Mo’s legs, so he can step in between them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s like He Tian is testing Mo to see how far Mo will let him go. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t know know himself, if he’s being honest. Mo allows him this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Up on the counter Mo is just taller than him. That part is fun. He Tian has to look up at him for once.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian does. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He has an amused twinkle in his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Too arrogant. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo kicks him, careful of the coffee.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You still haven't done the dishes,” Mo reminds him. <em>Like you said you would.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I will. I was exhausted yesterday, jet lag.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s a lousy excuse if Mo ever heard one. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No one told you to go to another country for 6 months.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian grins.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You really missed me, huh?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo kicks him again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian, I swear to god.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo,” He Tian tugs Mo closer to the edge of the counter. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stares up at Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For just, just a second, Mo lets him. Mo feels his his thighs pulling tighter around He Tian, his breath coming shorter. Then Mo pushes his face away and jumps down from the counter.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have to go.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It's a Saturday, you don't have class.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have work. You told my boss I'd be on time for my next shift.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is still watching him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…what?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I've got a solution. For your neck, I mean. The hickeys. I’m gonna pop by a drugstore, wait here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...what?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo waits. The fuck else is he supposed to do.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's a store around the corner, Mo thinks. He Tian can’t take that long. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five minutes later He Tian is pushing a bag into Mo's hands. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bandages. Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Those should cover it nicely."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If anyone asks Mo can say he got into a street fight.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It will fit in with your bad boy reputation," He Tian adds.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't have a reputation."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Momo. You do have a reputation.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks at the bandages. Yeah, they should do the trick. Mo hadn't thought of it. Funny that He Tian did. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo goes back to the bathroom and uses the mirror to apply the bandages. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…well. Problem avoided.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian comes up behind him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"See? Try it out, '<em>thank you</em> <em>He Tian, you’re so smart and sexy</em>’."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're just fixing a problem you caused yourself."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mo breathe. I’m not picking a fight.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo isn’t either. His words are just like that sometimes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s hand comes up to his neck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If I had my way Momo, you would <em>parade</em> around with my hickeys. Appreciate that I’m just trying to help.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Yeah</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo knows. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is possessive, no news there. Hell knows what he was like after the studs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks into the mirror. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Like this he’s reminded of the picture He Tian sent him, actually. During the trip.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…why did <em>he</em> have the bandages back then?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You had one of those in your neck, in a picture you sent me,” Mo says it out loud, still looking in the mirror. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. It’s nice that you remember. You liked the picture then?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo ignores… all that really. He Tian says too much bullshit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is this what you were hiding?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tian pauses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...was I hiding a hickey?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">He Tian.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo are you jealous?" He Tian sounds so incredulous that Mo freezes. No.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Baby. That’s so cute.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The fuck did Mo get him started on this time? Mo was just fucking asking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was just fucking asking. I have no clue what you were doing for those months.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And you’re worried I might have let someone give me hickeys?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get fucked.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s eyes are sparkling.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo, that’s <em>so</em> cute.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck off and die.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I don’t fucking know He Tian, Mo thinks. No one was telling him shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe the Americans-Africans-Europeans you were with had a go at your neck, how the fuck would I know.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What, no oceania?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were more hours away than that in timezones.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…you were keeping track of my timezone?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shut up.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian has a dumb grin on his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No one was giving me a hickey Mo. It was old fashioned fighting.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well. Okay then.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…what kinds of fights were you getting into?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t want to know.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He heard that one before. Mo wonders when people will genuinely start giving him information.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Mo actually, truly has to leave, he feels awkward. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Does he just... walk out? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Does He Tian expect some kind of goodbye? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit Mo is so tired of being confused.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm leaving now," Mo says. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Okay."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo lingers. He Tian meets his eyes. Almost daring Mo to... do something. Do what?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo finally sighs and walks out. He closes the door behind him. This time, he doesn't turn back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, why are you still following me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean?” Qiu puts out his cigarette. Mo makes a broad gesture at the apartment behind them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian is back.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…He Tian isn’t back because the danger passed. He’s back because he’s a fucking idiot.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That sounds on brand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The fake texts didn’t work?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The fake texts led to an interesting meeting where some underlings were expecting to kidnap He Tian and were met with He Cheng. He Cheng sent them a message.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…nice. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What’s the problem then? “You’re not sure the message was received?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not even that. It’s just that this whole mess isn’t sorted until someone else takes over.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Old man hasn’t died?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope. He Cheng is trying to convince him to step down regardless.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How is that going?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu’s face speaks for itself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great then.” Mo’s tone is dry. “I fucking love having a bodyguard.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Play nice kid.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…you wouldn’t give me a ride to work, would you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu doesn’t miss a beat. “300 yuan.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, worth the try.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Work is… uneventful. Mo is on time, thank you, but his boss doesn’t bring it up. Apparently last night can be forgotten. Cheers to that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They get a new shipment in for kiwis. They’re in season this time of the year, Mo thinks. They look nice. Mo hovers over them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s nothing in He Tian’s place. He could use some fucking fruit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo picks some and weights them. 5 yuan. His bank account won’t <em>die</em> or anything.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo bags them and adds from his money to the cash register. His boss watches, but doesn’t comment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s phone vibrates in his back pocket. Shit, speak of the fucking devil.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>When is your next day off?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>3:08pm              He Tian</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Idk. Tuesday, I think.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>3:08pm             - MGS</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a pause.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>That’s pretty far away.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>3:10pm              He Tian</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…the fuck does He Tian want him to do about that?</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You were gone fox six months?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>3:10pm             - MGS</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A customer walks in. Mo puts his phone away. Work time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He is back from work later that day. His mom knocks on his bedroom door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Guan Shan?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmm?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There's a scary looking man here for you. I don't know what to do. Do you want me to tell him you're dead?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Wait, scary looking?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Short white hair?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tattoos?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes dear, that's right. Do you know him?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He's from He Tian's family. Uh- He Tian's brother in law.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh! Oh, I was so rude then, I'm sorry.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don't worry.” Qiu deserves it, Mo thinks to himself. Mo picks up his phone and keys.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian has a sister?” His mom asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Brother.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks for a jacket for this weather. His mom doesn't follow it up with anything else. She's looking at him, Mo notices.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...some people are gay mom, I don't know. It's not my business, I don't ask.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course darling. I just thought it was a funny coincidence since you... and He Tian-“ If Mo glared any harder his eyes would pop out of his head. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's amusement in his mom's eyes. She, thankfully, lets it go.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you leaving then?” She asks. Mo settles on a thick jacket and heads for the entrance.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo realises his mom wants some insight into what the man is here for. Mo pauses in front of the door. He has no fucking clue how to answer that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Qiu is a personal trainer." Qiu will love that one. "He's here to give me a ride for training."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo opens the door. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom is immediately apologetic. "I'm so sorry dear, making you wait outside. I didn't know you were family."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu's face is actually pretty funny. His mom has a way to disarm people.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's not a problem, Ms. Mo. I'm a very patient personal trainer."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, Mo will never hear the end of it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Guan Shan," Mo's mom suddenly turns to look at him. "You know He Tian's family."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...yes?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's quite serious then, right?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn't know how to reply. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom, apparently, has a point.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I've been remiss then, not inviting him. He should know ours too. He should absolutely come for dinner one of these days. You too, dear, if you want, and his brother."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu. And He Tian's brother.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking hell. Mo is too incredulous to even respond.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What... the fuck?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Qiu can't mom, he's allergic to... food."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He's allergic to food?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">'Yep."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"To... all food?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yep."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The face Qiu makes at him is a test, in and of itself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He drinks out of a little straw, you're embarrassing him bringing it up."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I appreciate the offer though, Ms. Mo.” Qiu adds.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh. Alright then. Take care dear!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking hell. She thinks Mo knows He Tian’s family <em>through family dinners</em>. Not through the fucking mafia. She’s disappointed that Mo wouldn’t want to include her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit. Problem for the future, he thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’re not five steps away when Qiu crosses his arms.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m a personal trainer?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Mo fucked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yep.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'm a personal trainer allergic to food?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo could, admittedly, have said something better.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That's my story and I'm sticking to it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You're a shithead kid.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You're a field of daisies. The fuck do you want?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You're the one who wants training. You didn’t pick up your fucking phone and I grew bored of waiting.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. Mo pulls out his phone. Forgotten on ‘<em>do not disturb</em>’ mode.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This really is just training then?” Mo asks. “For half a second it looked more urgent.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not. But pick up your fucking phone. You don’t know when trouble could truly come to you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sometimes Mo has to mentally remind himself that he is in deep now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>If people don’t hear from him they assume </em><b><em>trouble</em></b><em>. </em>What the fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders, not for the first time, what he’s getting himself into.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Don’t hold a grudge. I missed you too.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>3:11pm              He Tian</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Can I meet you later?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>3:11pm              He Tian</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has to control his impulses to give a short answer. He is not angry that He Tian wants to meet him. Why would he pick a fight?</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Sure.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>8:03pm             - MGS</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Around 9?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>8:03pm             He Tian</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Why not</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>8:03pm             - MGS</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>See ya.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>8:03pm             He Tian</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng stops at the training facility again. He's not in work clothes this time. He’s in full black, sure, but it's looser. More comfortable. Nothing near a suit. He walks up to the table with hand wrappings and starts work on his hands.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo turns to Qiu.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please tell me I'm not gonna get beaten up by He Cheng.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'm not here for you, kid,” He Cheng answers, without turning around. He pulls the cloth in a pattern between each finger then back around his hand, and ties it up tight. Qiu, Mo notices, has stopped instructing Mo. He is watching intently He Cheng's hands.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh yeah," Qiu remembers, "we were invited for dinner by Mo's mother." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng turns to look at him. "You're shitting me. That would be hilarious. Imagine He Tian's face."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're not fucking going," Mo warns them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mo told her I'm allergic to food."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"To... all food?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Apparently I drink out of a straw."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng stares at Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shit kid, I take my job offer back. You have to learn how to fucking <em>lie</em>."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I was under pressure."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"This job is 24/7 pressure. I still come up with better alternatives than food allergy."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jesus, Mo gets it. No need to be a fucking dick.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're ready?" He Cheng asks Qiu.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"In a moment. Let me put the kid to do something."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu pushes him closer to a dummy. He instructs Mo to train high kicks, alternating between the legs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then he walks over to the fighting ring and pulls up the barrier.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"After you boss."</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Watching them train is- unbelievable. They are completely in sync.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng is pure agility. His movements are quick. Pointed. Precise. Qiu responds to invisible cues, falling back or pushing into him in perfect timing. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu anticipates He Cheng's moves, but he's not always fast enough to avoid them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When He Cheng hits, he hits hard. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But where he is agility, Qiu is perception and raw strengh. He must be holding back, Mo thinks. Because he can clearly hit hard enough to knock someone out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng notices the restrain too. After a round he jumps down from the ring, picks up hand wrappings for Qiu and pushes them into Qiu's chest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hit harder."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You got it boss."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Qiu finishes wrapping his hands, something shifts. Even his posture is different. His eyes are cold and calculating.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng's next punch is caught in Qiu’s hands. He Cheng shakes him off, tries again. The next one lands. The one after that leaves He Cheng with an exposed right side. Qiu knocks him down.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Kick the fucking dummy, Guan Shan." Qiu doesn't turn to look at him. His eyes are still fixed on He Cheng.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh, right. The dummy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo stops watching the fight. But he hears when He Cheng gets up and brushes himself off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Again."</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The boxing rules don't apply to them. <em>Don't go bellow the belt</em> and all that talk. They don't care about that. The goal is to take your opponent down. Anything is fair. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The way they move makes Mo think about sex. He wishes he could take it out on He Tian somehow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo kicks the dummy. He feels uncoordinated. Like he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing- but it gets easier, he notices. It gets easier with each try. Mo kicks the dummy, again and again.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is waiting for him when he comes back, smoking a cigarette outside Mo’s apartment. Mo stops beside him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shit, you’re sweaty,” He tian tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For some reason, Mo doesn’t want to mention the training part. If He Tian doesn’t already know, Mo won’t be the one to tell him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was going for a run.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can see that.” He Tian says, and stubs out his cigarette.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t really know what else to say. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I got you kiwis,” he remembers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…you got me <em>kiwis</em>?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s just some fucking fruit, He Tian.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian has his eyebrows raised high. Fucking hell. He makes it sound like Mo just mentioned a bag of gold bars.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If he tries to be a dick Mo will eat the kiwis himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You bought me… kiwis?” He Tian asks. “Where are they?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…upstairs. I don’t walk around with fruit.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did Mo do something weird? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s pretty sure he didn’t. It’s just fruit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmm?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Invite me upstairs.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come in, your highness.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian follows him in.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s mom isn’t home. But she doesn’t have work today, Mo thinks. If she’s out somewhere she’ll be here soon enough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They peel the kiwis in Mo’s kitchen. Mo tries to offer a fork, anything more <em>civilised</em>, but He Tian just puts the fucking knife in his mouth to bite off the pieces. Fucking idiot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s happy with the fruits though. Mo didn’t do something weird.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo tries them himself. They taste pretty great. Mo eats with his fingers because he’s less fucking violent. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian stares at it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s mom will be back any minute, Mo thinks. He Tian can’t do something dumb, like lick him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Speaking of-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door opens.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ms. Mo, hello.” He Tian’s entire posture changes. He puts on his most winning smile. “I'm terribly sorry for the hour, Mo was just going to give me some homework that I missed.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…Mo is not gonna tell He Tian that his mom knows actually. Let He Tian figure that out on his own. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom is confused, until her face clears. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She looks at Mo with a mysterious glint in her eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What? Ah, she's asking him to joke about this. <em>By all means</em>, Mo gestures back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't know much about young people dear, is homework a new kind of euphemism?" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Dammed if I know." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian, of course, looks like he had an aneurism right then and there. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His expression is hilarious. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I told her,” Mo explains after some moments of silence. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You told her about… me?” He Tian’s voice goes weirdly quiet for the last part, like he can’t believe it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The fuck was I supposed to do, lie?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, ah- of course not. Just to make this perfectly clear, you told her about me… and you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo just stares at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…the fuck was I supposed to do, lie?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian blinks. He looks at Mo like Mo just gave him an unexpected Christmas present. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Impressionable idiot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She met Qiu earlier,” Mo says, just to dodge the intensity in his gaze. “She invited Qiu and He Cheng for dinner, but I told her they can’t make it due to Qiu’s condition.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where he’s allergic to food,” his mom imputes. She definitely doesn’t buy it, but she has priorities. These are messing with He Tian hours.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is questioning reality.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His face is so funny.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…so she knows… that I’m… involved? With you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s one way to put it. Sure, she does. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian <em>lights up</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I will take the very best care of your son, Ms. Mo. My intentions are the best. I'm a proper man, I'll marry him! Bef-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jesus Christ, He Tian, shut the fuck up.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mom just laughs. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The fuck did Mo encourage? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he walks into his room with He Tian, He TIan pauses in the doorway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Should I leave the door open?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'm not a maiden, He Tian.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Right," He Tian says, and leaves the door open anyway. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're really afraid of my mother, huh?" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"She matters to you.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Like. If she hated me I still wouldn’t give up?" </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian has an intense look in his eyes. Like Mo is supposed to listen. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is listening anyway, so. Moot point.  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If she hated me I'd still fight for this. But she likes me and I want to keep it that way. I won't do anything she could consider offensive." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian lives in an alternate universe where he has to fight things, Mo swears. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In <em>this</em> universe he doesn’t need all the drama.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is already-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is already here.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls out some clothes from his wardrobe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m gross from the run, I’m gonna take a shower.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” He Tian agrees, easily enough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…don’t do anything weird.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I won’t. Pinky promise.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Somehow, Mo doesn’t believe him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What He Tian does is snoop through Mo’s things. He’s not even pretending otherwise.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo gets dressed, but he's still drying his hair on his towel.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he comes back into the room He Tian is lying in his bed, reading a horoscope magazine.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you know the moon moving through Scorpio makes you more likely to find hidden opportunities?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t believe in that crap.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Spoken like a true Capricorn. No, seriously, there’s a space for reader quotes here. This one says: ‘<em>I’m a typical Capricorn. Hardworking, loyal, sometimes stubborn, and I don’t believe in astrology</em>.’ The magazine editor added LOL.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo drops his wet towel on him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where did you even find this?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Looking through your things.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…you could at least pretend not be a dick.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Too late,” He Tian tells him. “We’re something. You <em>told your mom</em> about me. Mis things es su things.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s not how spanish works.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian gives a total of 0 shits.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Too bad. I told you, Momo. You’re not getting rid of me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, Mo knows.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Now,” He Tian scoots over and makes room for him on the bed, “do you want to know what your astral map tells you about your love life?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It says, <em>you will find love in that handsome young man’s dick. Do give him a try</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…any young man? Boy, I’ve got my options wide open.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian swats at him with the magazine.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oops, I missed some details. ‘<em>The</em><em>dark haired, handsome, young man with the </em><b><em>massive</em></b><em> dick</em>.’”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can’t possibly be you. We have to end the something so I can go looking for dick.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cute, but I am immune to your criticism today. You bought me kiwis and told your mom about me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Low fucking bars, Mo thinks those are.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smiles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ve learned to read between the lines.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo puts the towel away and sits down.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay. What else does it say?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“All kinds of crazy shit Momo, wait until you hear about Mercury in retrograde-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Mo feels himself smiling. It’s such a stupid magazine<em>.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pokes his cheek.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s so rare to see you smile.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s rare for Mo to be happy. He thinks he’s happy, right now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. A decision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(I'm changing how texts are formatted here to include more information, like time stamps. I altered previous chapters as well so the word count went up, but this was all. I didn't change anything else.)</p><p>(Thank you so much for 500 kudos! I feel super sexy lmao)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dinner is uneventful.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Mo’s mom asks all sorts of questions about He Tian’s semester abroad. He Tian takes it in stride, smoothing into one lie after another. By the end Mo could almost believe it himself. </span> <span class="s1">He Tian is an upstanding citizen very concerned about his studies. Yes, sir. He does not, by any chance, know of the mafia. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ha. Would make for a very different guy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The whole time He Tian shoots those little smiles Mo’s way. He Tian is like a schoolgirl about this, Mo swears.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He Tian knows Mo’s mom means a lot to Mo. It’s like Mo sharing with her is <em>important</em>. </span> <span class="s1">And Mo isn’t really <em>sharing</em>, half of it are lies, there’s so much that Mo is hiding but-</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But He Tian shoots those private smiles Mo’s way.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo allows him this.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you gonna sleep here?” Mo asks him, some time later, when they’re back in Mo’s room.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…your mom would let me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo shrugs. She didn’t care when Mo slept over He Tian’s.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian must be having a similar thought. “Did she say anything about you sleeping there?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…well. She told Mo to wear condoms. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks away before he does something stupid, like blush. Mo is sure as fuck not gonna mention that part. He Tian doesn’t need any more incentive to work with.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, He Tian, she didn’t mind.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He Tian just- <em>lights up</em>. He lies down immediately on Mo’s bed and punches Mo’s pillow to his liking. </span> <span class="s1">Shit. The nerve on him.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks at He Tian, still making himself at home in Mo’s bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders if he really isn’t getting rid of He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d be fine.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wasn’t trying all that hard in the first place.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you done being dumb about the door?” Mo asks him. “You’re not gonna kiss me with the door open.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…I wasn’t trying to?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit. And two seconds ago He Tian thought he could read between the lines.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian remains, perfectly, obvious.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…oh. No. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s messing with Mo on purpose.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian grins.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Close the door Mo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…for fucks sake,” Mo says, but he does close the door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The kiss is languid. Slow. Mo’s hand is in He Tian’s cheek, keeping him in place. He Tian sighs against his mouth, and deepens the kiss.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can barely fucking breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian puts a hand on Mo’s chin, tilts Mo’s head. That feels fucking hot too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the kiss breaks Mo looks away, avoids eye contact. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian licks Mo’s lips. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Upwards stripe, like a <em>dog</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh, yeah. He Tian is fucking shit at letting Mo avoid things.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian was gone for six months. Fuck him, honestly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo puts his weight on his hand between them on the bed, so he’s leaning over him, and kisses him again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Does that mean you missed me Momo?” He Tian asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo never learned that saying about playing and fire.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nah, I'm thinking about that guy with the massive dick.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s next kiss is rough. A bite on Mo’s lower lip. Mo thinks if He Tian pushed any harder he could draw blood. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Yeah</em>. Maybe Mo missed him. So fucking what?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'm a possessive asshole,” He Tian says against his lips.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…no shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is sharing news to night.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good for you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean it Momo. I'm not fucking willing to share.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…good for you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian bites him again. “We barely talked about this. All joke aside the something has to be mutual fucking exclusive.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is he kidding? …only He Tian could start an Astrology joke and then make himself jealous.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wants to fucking laugh at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. Okay. Got it. The fuck else does He Tian want? Written fucking vows?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Mo solemnly swears to only kiss dickheads.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No, wait. That sounds weird.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you gonna borrow clothes?” Mo asks him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian seems confused.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…to sleep in, He Tian.” That’s what they were talking about in the first place.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh. Sure. Get me something comfortable.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He could learn to say fucking please sometimes. What an asshole. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo gets up and digs through his clothes. He throws He Tian some sweats, a t-shirt. He Tian is-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is undressing, right then and there. Mo turns around quick and stares very intently at his wardrobe. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian <em>laughs</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Afraid you’re gonna check me out baby?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is not afraid. He’s just- giving He Tian fucking privacy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks over his shoulder. He Tian is slowly pulling his turtleneck over his head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nah, it’s a great wardrobe. So- wood and wardrobe like. Mo really has to stare. The way it just wars all those drobes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Momo,” He Tian says behind him, “you’ve had your hand on my dick.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Today. I came on your skin. If you rip off that bandage on your neck you can see the signs of me on your-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">FINE, Mo gets it. Mo turns back around.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smirks. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is not, currently, wearing a shirt. Mo does his best to ignore He Tian’s <em>He Tianess</em> and makes himself comfortable in bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smiles at Mo and pulls on Mo’s t-shirt over his head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s- that’s nice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo could get used to it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Scoot over,” He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo could get used to that too.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian wants to cuddle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of fucking course he does.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tian fits himself behind Mo and slips his arm around Mo's waist.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...make yourself at fucking home.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian ignores the sarcasm. “I will baby.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He kisses Mo’s neck. Mo’s next breath feels shaky. “He Tian-”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s hand skirts at the edge of Mo's shirt. Mo lets him slip his hand inside.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s fingertips tease just above Mo’s waistline. Complete asshole. He Tian’s goal in life is to drive Mo crazy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s kiss on his neck is wet. Mo is hyper aware of He Tian’s lips on his skin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next kiss has a hint of teeth. Mo reaches behind him and pulls him closer by the hair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Suck,” Mo says, before he looses his gut.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...it's gonna leave a mark."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thank you for explaining basic human anatomy to me He Tian."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian starts sucking his skin. Mo grows harder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You don't actually mind them?" There's so much wonder in He Tian's voice. Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't know what I mind He Tian. I haven't fucking done this before."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks he should probably be- self aware. Something. About mentioning this. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">But He Tian only sucks harder. </span> <span class="s1">Possessive asshole alright.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know,” He Tian says. “Me neither. Waiting for you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…how could you know I'd eventually be interested?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh Momo. I don't think you realise the way you look at me sometimes. Since the beginning. The way you get embarrassed. The way you blush."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>He Tian</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The way you can't keep me away. Yeah, I knew you'd be interested. Was just waiting on you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is blushing so hard.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>He Tian</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shh your mom is home. Be quiet.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck, He Tian wants to drive him crazy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo turns around and kisses He Tian just to shut him up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian indulges him, easy enough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s legs feel weak. He Tian fits his thigh between them and pushes them just a little apart. Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shh.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s hand is still beneath Mo’s shirt, just above Mo’s pants.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo, can I-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Yeah</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian reaches inside and pulls Mo into his hand. Skin to skin. <em>Fuck.</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thrusts up into his hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s it baby. Take your pleasure.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo kisses him again. He barely dares making a sound.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There’s no one else for me,” He Tian tells him. “I hope you make good use of me because I'm so fucking gone for you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, shit, He Tian is gonna make Mo crazy. Mo pushes harder against him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How does He Tian fucking say those things? Out loud?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian gives a twist to his wrist and strokes him harder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ah-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian swallows his gasp. Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo leans his head into He Tian’s shoulder and tries to hold on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s hand is dry. The friction is almost too much.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Mo <em>wants</em>- He pushes up into He Tian’s hand hard.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Ah-</em>“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s it. That’s it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian keeps stroking him, murmuring encouragement into his head. Fuck. Fuck. Mo can’t-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo <em>needs</em>-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Ah-</em>“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo comes in He Tian’s hand. Holy fuck. Mo’s shaking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is looking at him like he’s done an accomplishment somehow. Shit. All Mo did was come.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo kisses him again. Fuck. The aftershocks feel so good.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pushes He Tian’s hand away when it becomes too much.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t last at this-“ <em>with you</em>, Mo means. He doesn’t fucking last. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian doesn't mind.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re a teenager Mo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well. That’s true. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian gives him a cheeky grin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll get better with time. Please, please touch me too.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ugh, fine. Mo might as well.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pushes his hand into He Tian’s borrowed sweats.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Having He Tian in his hand- is still fucking hot. A little overwhelming. He Tian’s so fucking <em>hard</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian covers Mo’s hand with his own and makes it just a little faster.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck. Did He Tian- did he get turned on just from getting Mo off?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s wound up so tight.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo holds on tighter.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you ever think about me?” He Tian asks. “When you have your hands on yourself like this?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every single fucking time He Tian, fuck you.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Liar.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo strokes harder. Fuck him, fuck, fuck what he makes Mo feel.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you ever push your hips down onto this bed of yours and think about fucking me Mo? About me fucking you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Fuck</em>, He Tian wants to drive Mo crazy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Both. Either. Yeah, Mo thinks about it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Ah</em><em>-</em>“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Mo has a preference, in those dirty fantasies of his. He Tian pushing him down, He Tian between his thighs, He Tian-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think about you fucking me,” Mo’s confesses against his lips, barely above a whisper.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian <em>short circuits</em>. There’s no other way to put it. He’s shocked. He fucks hard into Mo’s hand, once, twice-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wait.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did he-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Did you just <em>come</em>?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shut up.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I am not shutting up about this.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, being a teenager sucks. Mo feels better, in comparison.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls out some kleenex and cleans his hands.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian still has this stupid blissed out look on his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo throws some kleenex at him too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian moves to look at the paper in his stomach.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you sharing your jack off stash Mo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s just fucking tissue asshole.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sexy. Do you have any pictures of me in that stash?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…seriously. He Tian is a dickhead.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shame.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is feeling powerful. Mo is feeling fucking cheeky.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fucking shame. Go the fuck to sleep.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“..oh my god. Oh my god, Mo, did you just flirt with me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is an idiot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pushes some kleenex onto his face so he doesn’t see Mo smile.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I will, thank you very much.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian falls asleep with the stupid grin in place.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Mo gets up in the morning He Tian is still lazying around in his bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…don’t you have anywhere to <em>be</em>?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…are you gonna spend all day here?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian will, in fact, spend all day there. When Mo leaves for work He Tian leaves too, claiming business he has to attend to at home. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But by the time Mo comes back He Tian is dutifully waiting for him again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking clingy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo should have seen that one coming.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks he should message Zheng Xi. Just a quick heads-up. ‘<em>Hey, He Tian is back</em>.’</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Mo feels so awkward about it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s like- it’s like Zheng Xi is still in a place that Mo isn’t anymore. Zheng Xi is still missing, and he has no return date to wait for. Zheng Xi can’t relate to this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Best case scenario Zheng Xi feels happy for him and they have a fucking awkward conversation about it. Worst case scenario-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi feels angry, and stomps down to He Cheng’s place for session 357 of ‘kicking and screaming and begging for information.’</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>If He Tian is back why can’t Jian Yi?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The frustration is real. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hell knowns Mo has been there himself. The frustration is <em>valid</em>. But it doesn’t help.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks about this for a long time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the end he doesn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian wakes Mo up in middle of the night, kicking up a storm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It takes Mo a long time to understand that He Tian isn't awake himself. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nightmare.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nothing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is trembling. Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He Tian," Mo tries again, louder. He Tian does't awake.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo touches his forehead. He's sweating cold.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck. Mo doesn’t know what he can do.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian, come on.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo remembers holding He Tian’s hands, one time. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When He Tian woke up, his instinct was to squeeze Mo. Like Mo was a threat. Mo wants to avoid that if he can.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>He Tian</em>.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t shout but his voice feels loud, in the quiet room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo smooths his hands along He Tian’s hair, massaging his scalp. With his fingertips Mo slowly applies more pressure, until Mo is pressing in. He Tian’s eyes blink awake.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wha-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tries to shove away. Mo slips his leg around He Tian’s waist and holds him down.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A moment passes by in complete silence. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo brushes He Tian’s hair with his fingers. A calming move, Mo sure hopes. He Tian stares. Slowly, recognition filters in his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…Momo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. It’s me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is still trembling. He brings his hands up to Mo’s wrists.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can feel the adrenaline rush, like he ran a race. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shock of being woken so suddenly, and the reason why.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is <em>fine</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is fine. Mo lowers himself to bed again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian caresses his wrists, presses in. That’s He Tian’s way of asking him not to pull completely away, Mo thinks. Mo lies down but lets his hands stay where they are. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He combs his fingers through He Tian’s hair, smoothing it back from his forehead and letting it fall again. He Tian turns his face and kisses Mo’s palm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the dark Mo can’t see He Tian’s traces so well, but Mo’s eyes are adjusting. He thinks He Tian looks calm. Calmer then before, at least.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you so afraid of?” Mo asks him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is quiet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'm afraid of someone killing my dog.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wasn't sure he was gonna get an answer. This is worse.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is gonna fucking kill He Cheng.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you mean me, I’m not a dog He Tian. I fight back.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian lets out some air that might have been a laugh, in a different room.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You sure do, Mo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo falls asleep first this time, caught in the east rhythm of He Tian’s breathing. Last thing he feels is He Tian kissing the top of his head.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wakes up by himself. But <em>hmm</em>, he thinks, he’s not too worried about it. The sheets are still tangled up where He Tian was. He’ll be back soon enough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s something is his nightstand. What’s that? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…a ring. A fucking ring. And a chain too, because He Tian is a sentimental fucking idiot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’re not in a box - probably so Mo can’t recognise a brand and have an idea of how much he’s fucking spent on this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So much of an idiot, it’s hard to put into words.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a note weighted down by the chain. Mo snatches it up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Keep it Mo. It’s for you. - He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…it’s not like Mo was going to throw it <em>away</em>. But holy shit, He Tian will take this back. He’s such an idiot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The metal is smooth, not many details. Mo can’t tell the material by looking at it. Silver? Knowing He Tian, maybe not. It’s nice. Sophisticated. Too fucking much though. He Tian needs to be held back like a fucking dog on a leash, or he has no limits.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before Mo can think too much about it he slips them into his wallet. He will make He Tian take them back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Something falls to the floor. Oh, and He Tian has forgotten his keys. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Was it long ago? If he just went home he might be outside his place by now, trying to get in. Mo can imagine the scene so well. He Tian is a dumbass.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo stretches and gets up.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Hey, you’re gonna need those keys?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>9:31am.- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, is this some sneaky way to give Mo a pair of keys to his house too? Holy fuck. Mo hopes not. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian brings up marriage too much to just be a coincidence. They are <em>teenagers</em>. He Tian gotta chill.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo brushes his teeth, takes a shower, dresses. When he stops by the kitchen he sees there’s a coffee mug still drying in the sink. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian hasn’t left long ago then. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks at the clock. Mo doesn’t have a shift until midday today. He has enough time to drop the keys off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He picks them up and heads out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except it takes one step outside his house for realisation to dawn on him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No, come on-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking hell.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo walks faster now, two steps at a time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Don’t fucking do this, He Tian. I’m gonna kill you.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He makes it to He Tian’s apartment in record speed, but he didn’t have to.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn't have to see the inside of the apartment to know it. He Tian is gone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is gone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is<em> gone</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is gone, gone, <em>gone</em>, all over again, and Mo wants to fucking scream.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Fuck him</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For how <em>fucking long</em>? Six <em>months</em>? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>More</em>?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is shaking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By how long did Mo miss him? The cup was in the sink. He Tian was just there. <em>Fuck</em>. Fuck him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo gets in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sits down on the floor, in the middle of He Tian’s empty fucking apartment, and bites back on his bitter feelings until he chokes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is gone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did he fucking linger when he left? Did he look back at Mo with regret? Or did he just drink his coffee, business as usual, and left? When he closed the door, did he look back?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is gone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why didn’t he <em>say anything</em>?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why <em>didn’t he-</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s next breath is tremulous. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can’t stay. Mo remembers suddenly. He can’t stay. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This apartment was repurposed when He Tian left the last time. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And why wouldn’t it? It’s a nice penthouse and <em>no one knows when He Tian will back</em>. It just makes <em>sense</em> to use the resources available. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Soon enough there will be mafia personnel taking the boxes left. Cleaning the place up of anything that might be personal enough for Mo to remember.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Will it be another <em>six months</em>? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fighting about the extra toothbrush sounds so stupid now. Of course Mo needed a toothbrush when He Tian was here. This was his place.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s not anymore.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has to leave.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jian Yi has been gone for a year and half. How long will it be for He Tian? When will Mo even see him again?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo was fucking happy. Fuck him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks around the apartment. He Tian took his toothbrush, some clothes from the boxes. He left his keys at Mo’s house-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He <em>left his keys at Mo’s house.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His bags were already made since before then. They were already made and waiting, maybe in a company car somewhere, before he even went over yesterday. He knew the day would end like this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why didn’t he <em>fucking say anything?</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t want to take anything with him from the house. He leaves the keys in the counter. If Mo kept them they’d just be a- distraction. A mocking reminder. The mafia personnel must have a pair of keys too, he figures. They’ve got this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once Mo closes the door he won’t be able to open it again from the outside. Mo looks around one last time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then he closes the door behind him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Momo, I'm sorry. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">8<em>:47pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Fuck you. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">8<em>:49pm- MGS</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu isn’t there when Mo goes to the training facility, but that’s not a deterrent anymore. Mo is known by the underlings. Even without Qiu along they let him in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pushes out a training dummy, makes room for himself in a corner of the room, and trains.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo trains until his hands bleed.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Momo. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>10:03pm- Unknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Block unknown number? Blocked contacts will no longer</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> be able to call you or send you messages.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">[Cancel][Block]</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Block unknown number? Blocked contacts will no longer</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> be able to call you or send you messages.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">[Cancel]<b>[Block]</b></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t know how long it’s been when Qiu throws him a bottle of water. Mo catches it out of instinct.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo <em>is</em> thirsty.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He nods his thanks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He drinks half the bottle. Then he gets back to work.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On day 3 or 4 Qiu hands him cloth. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo stares at it blankly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu rolls his eyes. “It has to hurt your opponents more than it hurts you. Or you’re wasting your time.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Mo still doesn’t do anything, Qiu pushes it into Mo’s chest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Therefore you’re wrapping your hands kid.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” Mo feels a little embarrassed actually but… “I don’t know how.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If silence could be condescending, this is it. Fuck Qiu, honestly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a moment Qiu walks over to the table with more hand wrappings and picks one for himself. He lifts his hand, in Mo’s line of sight, and starts wrapping. He goes slowly, so Mo can follow it on his own hand. Once or twice Mo pulls the cloth wrong and Qiu stops, until Mo fixes it and catches up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There’s more than one way to wrap your hands. Some give more flexibility, some provide better support. I’m showing a generic one, that guarantees protection for your thumb while leaving you with room to use your spread fingers to defend yourself, if needed.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Got it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu is not going to explain literally everything, Mo thinks he means. If Mo wants a different hand wrapping pattern he’ll have to look it up. That’s okay. Mo can search things on his own.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Mo’s done with both hands Qiu nods. Mo gets back to the dummy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He trains until he bleeds with that one two.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it’s easier, now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You know it's not my fault that I have a fucked up family. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:54pm(Different) Unknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No shit He Tian. Really?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I'm not angry because you have a fucked up family.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:54pm- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is, but he's not angry at He Tian for that.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>...then why?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:56pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Seriously? Does He Tian need a step by step explanation? Fucking drawings to illustrate?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You didn't tell me. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:59pm- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Again, I mean. You didn't say anything the last time either.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>3:59pm- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>If it was up to you, you would do everything to achieve maximum He Tian drama. Just disappear in a cloud of smoke one day.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:01pm- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Is your ego your only fucking thought? </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:02pm- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Because if I'm hurt I must have given a shit at all, right.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:02pm- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Does it feed your fucking ego?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:03pm- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian doesn't answer for a long time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I'm sorry. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:31pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You better be.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:31pm- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Don't text unless it's an emergency.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>4:31pm- MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Block unknown number? Blocked contacts will no longer</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> be able to call you or send you messages.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">[Cancel][Block]</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Block unknown number? Blocked contacts will no longer</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> be able to call you or send you messages.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">[Cancel]<b>[Block]</b></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has permanent callous in his hands now, where the hand wrappings dig in. The alternative would be bleeding exposed rashes. Mo chooses the callous.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On week three Qiu pats his back. “Congratulations. You’ve upgraded to live targets.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…that so? Mo is suspicious.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You said it would take months.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re recalculating based on the pure anger you’ve got going on there. Get up on the ring.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo does. Qiu climbs in after him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu assumes a defensive stance and puts on hand pads for target training.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu lifts one of the gloves. “Imagine He Tian, I guess.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…he’s kind of missing the point, Mo thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not angry at He Tian.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wait, not even Mo believed that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, I am, but he’s not- he’s not the focus.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu shrugs. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His face says <em>I don’t give a shit kid</em>. But he asks anyway. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who are you angry at then?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And ain’t that the fucking questing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo stretches his neck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Your boyfriend, for starters.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great.” Qiu lifts the hand pad again. “He Cheng one,” he points to the other hand pad, “and He Cheng two. In this one he’s kicking an old lady. Go.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo hits the pad.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo hits it again and agin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu changes the height sporadicly, so Mo strains different muscles. That’s okay. Mo adapts.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu instructs him to alternate between hits and kicks. Mo adapts to that too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Mo gets distracted, Qiu shoves back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo learns to keep 100% of his attention on the target.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every once in a while Qiu makes a comment about Mo’s stance.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo adjusts it accordingly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Mo hits the hand pads again and again and again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">______________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I felt sorry for you,” Mo says, when Zheng Xi lets him in. “Isn’t it ridiculous? With the perspective in mind.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi is confused. He’s definitely confused.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> But he takes it in stride.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…okay. Do you want anything to drink?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why not.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi walks them to the kitchen. Mo follows. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi makes coffee. He even lets Mo hide his face behind a big cup before saying anything. Zheng Xi is a nice guy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” Zheng Xi starts again. “You’re apologising for feeling sorry for me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…not with so many words.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi grins. Mo puts up a middle finger at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay.” Zheng Xi tries again. “Why did you feel sorry for me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian came back.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mixed emotions skirt through Zheng Xi’s face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. Mo expected that part. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian is back?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. It was temporary.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…you didn’t know it was temporary.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi drinks his own coffee. For a moment he is far away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…what the fuck is going on with Jian Yi?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ain’t that the million dollar question. Mo wishes he had an answer.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi turns to look at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey. I’m glad you got to have that. I’m sorry that it was temporary but I’m glad you got to have it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…is he fucking kidding.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can barely believe him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. Zheng Xi, no, that’s not what we’re doing.You’re not gonna be nice. You’re gonna be an asshole so the guilt goes away.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi smiles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, wanna go to He Cheng’s and beg for information?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>No</em>, Zheng Xi I never want to go to He Cheng’s-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…didn’t you make out with He Tian there once?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Asshole. “<em>I never want to go to He Cheng’s</em> and beg for information. I’m dead serious Zheng Xi. You will not drag me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s the only source of information that we have.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And <em>he’s an asshole</em>. Did you know he killed He Tian’s dog?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi looks properly horrified at that one.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Holy shit.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How do you know?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian mentioned when he was-“ Mo cuts himself off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi keeps looking at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…when he was here?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi ’s face grows pensive again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They drink the rest of the coffee in silence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I do feel envy,” Zheng Xi says, eventually. “Just a little. Is that what you were worried about?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t blame him though. He can imagine the feeling. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo might have felt something similar if Jian Yi was back and they had no news at all from He Tian. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hell, if Zheng Xi was downright angry right now Mo wouldn’t blame him. But yeah. This is Zheng Xi that they’re talking about.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well then,” Zheng Xi says. “I do feel some envy. You can feel better now.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…are you just saying that so I won’t be guilty?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re too paranoid Mo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo sure is. But it’s always with reason.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi sighs. “There’s a time and place for guilt. Remember that time you hit me with a rock?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Zheng Xi really wants to dig in huh? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You didn’t die or anything.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi snorts. “I’m just saying. He Tian coming back and you feeling sorry for me is condescending. But it’s not your worst sin. You’re forgiven.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo watches him. Zheng Xi seems honest. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ugh. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is sure he’s nice sometimes just to be a dick.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…thank you, priest.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi smiles. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on,” Zheng Xi says, “wanna play a game?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sure. Why not.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If I’m getting forgiven for my sins,” Mo continues the thought, “I have a very open mind to members of the mafia.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“God loves all.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wish murder a little. On people who are dicks.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi considers that one.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think murder is only a sin if you follow through?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Doesn’t it fall under the wrath thing?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, right. You’re definitely guilty of the wrath thing.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pushes him out of the way.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi just laughs, the asshole.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on. Game now. Stew in your guilt later.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can do that.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>It did used to feed my ego. The drama, the hurt. It used to be the only way I could get something out of you. - H</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>11:12pm(Different) Unknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>But I'm sorry. I won't do it anymore. - H</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>11:12pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Great. Mo is not gonna sit around and wait for He Tian to not do it anymore though. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian could learn a lesson.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Block unknown number? Blocked contacts will no longer</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> be able to call you or send you messages.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">[Cancel][Block]</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Block unknown number? Blocked contacts will no longer</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> be able to call you or send you messages.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">[Cancel]<b>[Block]</b></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Someone is following Mo. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo notices it almost as soon as he leaves his house. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Just at the corner of his eye, on the edge of his awareness.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Someone is definitely following him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo tries to find Qiu on the other side of the street. He can spot the bike but Qiu isn’t there. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu <em>isn’t there</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Ice cold</em> fear rushes down Mo’s spine in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is alone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And someone is following him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Where the fuck is Qiu? Holy shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Shit.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo speeds up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So do they.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders if he can just turn around and go back home. Pretend this isn’t happening.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…go back home. Where his mother lives.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Shit</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo runs now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So do they.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can hear feet hitting pavement. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s <em>more than one person</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can’t turn around to look.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">From his street Mo can take an alley to the main avenue. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He remembers doing that when he was running from Qiu.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is it worth the risk? Mo doesn’t fucking know. Would he even be safer at an avenue?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s running on instinct.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He ducks into the alley.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His lungs are burning.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He just needs to get to the other side, he just needs-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A hand grabs his hoodie. Mo turns around with his hand high.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The punch lands. Small miracle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now that Mo is looking he can see that it’s three men. All black. One has a baseball bat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking <em>coward</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If he gets anywhere near Mo, Mo is done for.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The hit was enough to dislodge the other guy from Mo, but he’s reaching again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before he can Mo knees him in the balls. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Makes sure <em>it hurts</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can cheat too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a split second of surprise, and the guy’s pulling down his hand in instinct. Mo uses the second to elbow the guy’s nose hard.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo hopes it fucking breaks. Three to one and a baseball bat? Fucking cowards.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks at the other two.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Baseball Bat is staying a step back. Oh yeah, they’d use Mo as bait to get to the <em>real target</em>. Mo is useless to them dead. And if he hits Mo with a bat, he can kill. He’ll step in if he has to, Mo thinks. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, is that enough? Can Mo buy time?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s heart is beating out of his chest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He just needs to get to the end of the alley.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo takes a step back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steps on- something, he turns back to look.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy closer to him kicks in Mo’s knee.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Son of a bitch</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That hurts. Any harder and he could break fucking bone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They want Mo alive. Beyond that is far game.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo fell down. The guy is pulling something out of his pocket. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cloth. Chloroform?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s heart jumps. He needs to get to the fucking avenue.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">More than ever.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo crawls back. His elbow scrapes against the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Getting back up will make him vulnerable for a second. Mo can’t afford it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He needs time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo waits for the guy to get within distance for the chloroform.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Those training lessons better pay off, Mo hopes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy hits him. Punch to the stomach, and another, <em>hard</em>, right after. Mo takes it. Shows just a little more pain than warranted.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The chloroform is pushed into Mo's face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t fucking breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With the guy’s hand extended towards Mo’s face his arm is exposed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo punches with everything he has, against the bending direction of his elbow. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sound is awful. Mo hopes it fucking hurt.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The cloth falls away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The avenue, the avenue.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo crawls back another step then pushes himself onto his feet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Baseball bat guy takes a step and is <em>on him</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is dead. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…fine. The guy isn’t fine. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu has him on a chokehold. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Qiu</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Third guy is trying to shove Qiu. Shit. But for the moment Qiu has baseball bat guy in a chokehold.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo rushes to take the bat out of his hands. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That puts Mo in range of the bat. The guy swings with all he’s got left.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first hit lands right beneath Mo’s ribs. Mo took a punch before but this is a <em>bat</em>. For a moment Mo can’t fucking breathe. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Guy lines up for another hit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo finally gets his hands on the bat and pulls.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They struggle for it. Qiu makes the hold tighter. The guy lets go.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thank fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As soon as Mo has the bat he’s aiming for third guy. He raises the bat high-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy looks at Mo. At Qiu. And runs back down the alley.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pussy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo aims the bat at the guy that Qiu is holding then.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t get to. Someone is behind Mo, with something acrid sweet on Mo’s face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Fuck</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t breathe. What the fuck. The other guy, the one that Mo <em>had hurt, dammit</em>, did he fake the injury? Mo doesn’t dare breathe. It takes five minutes for chloroform to take down someone. Mo doesn’t breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu knocks down the guy that he is holding. He pulls the bat out of Mo’s hands and hits the other one <em>hard</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh thank god.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Air, how I’ve missed you.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo takes heavy lungfuls, so fast he coughs. Fuck, he needed that. His heart-rate is erratic. He tries to get his breathing under control.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where the <em>fuck </em>were you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pissing.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…is Qiu for real.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Thanks</em> for the protection Qiu.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu ignores Mo’s sarcasm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re welcome. If you’re being chased <em>why the fuck would you run into an alley</em>?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Trying to get to the avenue.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My bike is on your street.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You weren’t <em>on</em> your bike. On a crowded avenue I could blend in.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Shit, it made sense when Mo thought of it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wait-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Would they attack me on a busy avenue anyway?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe. They’d go heavier on the chloroform.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Mo is fucking sick.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Try to drag me to the back of a van?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu doesn't see the cliche. “…you meant that as a joke? They definitely do have a van waiting for you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian isn’t even here. Mo doesn’t think this bullshit is fair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian isn’t even here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu looks at Mo like Mo is a slow child.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…he doesn’t have to be. You know that. You’re marked as a person of interest until the transition of power get solved.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu doesn’t have much empathy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Price of getting a mafia boyfriend kid.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“We should get out of here,” Mo says, to ignore the rest. </span> <span class="s1">Qiu can’t agree fast enough.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great fucking idea.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">______________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Mo, don't block me. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:07pm (Different) Unknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Sometimes I just need to know you're alive. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:07pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I understand your silence means you no longer want to do this. I won't push. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:07pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>...via texts, at least. I promise. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:08pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Just don't cut off the communication. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:08pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Bad fucking timing He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo stares for so long he feels his eyes hurting at the light.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another message comes in.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Please. - H</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:12pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo clears his face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I'm alive.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:13pm - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>We're still doing this. I blocked you because I'm fucking angry at you.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:13pm - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Don't try me these days. Don't text unless it's an emergency.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:14pm - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">______________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Mo, it's an emergency.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:54pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>What?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:54pm - MGS</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I miss you.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:54pmUnknown Number</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Block unknown number? Blocked contacts will no longer</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> be able to call you or send you messages.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">[Cancel][Block]</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">Block unknown number? Blocked contacts will no longer </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">be able to call you or send you messages.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"><b>[Cancel]</b>[Block]</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Me too.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>- MGS 7:01pm</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Fuck off now.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>- MGS 7:01pm</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wears the chain with the ring.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That was probably He Tian’s plan. To drop it just as he leaves, so the chain becomes something else, clouded by memory. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s not so much a statement for Mo anymore as it is just a- memento. A reminder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>He once had this and maybe if he’s a good boy and keeps his head down he’ll have this again.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wears the chain.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But he sure as fuck doesn’t keep his head down.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Mo gets to He Cheng’s place he leaves Qiu by the entrance and he barely has to glare at security before he’s allowed in. Progress.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng is in a meeting, from the closed door look of his office.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t give a shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Take me to him,” he says, when pushes his way inside. “If I'm already in danger here and he’s safe there, then what’s the problem in keeping us in the same room? You’re spending resources, having your men follow me around, and you’re not even doing a good job at that.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng pauses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a long, pointed silence, he gestures for the other men in the room to leave.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He waits until they all, one by one, move around Mo and step out. Mo waits too. If there’s one thing he’s got, it’s time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When the last one closes the door behind him, He Cheng clasps his hands on the desk.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t know what you’re getting into.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is fucking done with He Cheng’s condescension. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t move.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng sighs. He looks almost… resigned. Tired of the drama.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stands up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Follow me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">__________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He leads Mo further into the house, away from the other personnel. They walk through a high arch and head on to a room in the back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo takes a moment to look. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a garden, a fucking private lake, a golden retriever taking a nap in the sun. The place would be nice, if Mo was ever here when he wasn’t fucking angry. Mo watches the scene for a moment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You have a dog? Fucking ironic, considering what you did to He Tian.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng pauses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He told you about that?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You killed his dog. Who does that?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng watches him a long minute.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then he continues walking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t,” he says, and gestures back behind him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…what?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo must have misunderstood.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You made him <em>believe</em> you killed a dog?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What the <em>fuck</em>? He Tian still has nightmares. How many nights has he laid awake replaying what He Cheng did?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You said once that if you worked for me you would follow orders but your priority would be those you care about. I didn’t mind, Mo Guan Shan, because I do the same. But having He Tian as my priority doesn’t mean <em>doing what he would want me to</em>. It means keeping him safe. Sometimes that comes with though choices.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tough choices.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can barely believe it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s so- he’s so fucking <em>righteous</em> about it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Like that’s just how life had to be.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is so fucking angry.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he meets He Tian again <em>he’ll tell him</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When I meet He Tian again <em>I'll tell him</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng doesn’t even glance at him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You are literally asking me for a favour kid. Watch your words.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…is he fucking kidding? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pauses, watching his back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng is seriously misunderstanding Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When I meet He Tian again <em>I'll tell him</em>. And then He Tian does whatever the fuck he wants to He Cheng. If he wants to come here and take the dog with him he will. If he wants to stop at an animal shelter and pick a puppy, to reset the fucking trauma that you gave him, he will.” Mo is so fucking <em>angry</em>. “If he wants to move to a cabin in the fucking woods so he never has to see you again <em>he will</em>. You won't stop him.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I care about him more than you could ever understand Mo Guan Shan.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo could punch him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I care about him too and I'm not giving him fucking trauma. He has <em>nightmares</em>. He doesn't deserve what you did to him.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is just- Mo is so angry. How dare he? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The chain around Mo’s neck almost burns. Mo has a side here, and it’s not He Cheng’s.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng opens the door to the room they’re heading.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t arrive there and give up. You can't come to China and go as you please. He Tian did because he's reckless, but he can't afford to be. A safe house only works if the location hasn't been compromised.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…what?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The change of subject leaves Mo’s head swirling.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng gestures to a hair, starts digging through documents.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo walks in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That means I’m not buying your return ticket for two weeks from now. You grew bored? Tough shit. You go and you don’t know when you’ll be back.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Okay?</em>”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes He Cheng, okay. Got it. Understood.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t think you’re taking this seriously enough.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is. Mo is fucking overwhelmed. There’s a chance above zero that he’s going insane. But he’s taking this seriously.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng watches him for a moment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Luxembourg.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“God bless you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng is not amused. “He Tian is in Luxembourg. It’s a fiscal paradise. A lot of our allies have off shore accounts there. Some even acquire property, to launder their money. We can safely rent and keep him away from metropolitan agglomerations where enemies might find him.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo was expecting a big city. He’s only 30% sure he even knows where Luxembourg is.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s probably the point, he thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He has access to training,” He Cheng continues, “to private tutors, security and free roam of the city. No one knows who he is in there, he can enjoy small freedoms while the mess here gets sorted. Once every few weeks he travels for business, where he’s meeting one of our allies and negotiating the deals for a transition of power here. The rest of the time he’s based in the house in Luxembourg.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Okay. Great. Sounds reasonable.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How do I get to Luxembourg?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng rolls his eyes. “You walk kid. Or you behave and wait for me to get you a fake ID and plane tickets.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Going to a safe house in another continent is not fun.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. Mo knows. Except-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not knowing what’s going on is worse. Being afraid that this shit is gonna involve my mom? Is worse. I <em>live</em> with her. I realised I shouldn’t. I’m involved with trouble and trouble follows me. How can you guarantee her safety?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng glances down. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It says,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>I can’t</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s why I’m considering sending you,” He Cheng says after a moment. “I promised He Tian I would keep you safe."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"And what happened today shouldn't have happened."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng inclines his head in concession. "And what happened today <em>shouldn't have happened</em>. But business comes with a price. You know that. They will use any moment of distraction, any mistake, to attack. He Tian will never have a choice in this,” He Cheng makes a gesture towards the room at large, “and getting involved with him comes with that price.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng’s voice suddenly goes softer. Ha. Mo can spot manipulation when he sees it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian will never have a choice,” He Cheng says, looking at Mo. “You do. He Tian will always be involved but you can be safe.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cut out communication. For real. Not one text. In three months they’d give up on you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…like they have with Zheng Xi,” Mo wonders out loud. He Cheng nods.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Like they have with Zheng Xi. His mom, his <em>little sister</em>, they’re all safe from this shit.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng’s posture changes. Mo knows this is an ultimatum.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Genuinely cut off communication and they’ll leave you alone. When the dust settles, however long that turns out to be, He Tian might try to find you again.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jian Yi has been gone for a year and a half.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It might take twice that.” He Cheng smiles, with no humor. “Price of business.You want to keep your mother safe? That’s how. You leave. Or you cut off communications with He Tian and don’t get involved in this shit.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo feels the weight of the chain around his neck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s not a choice at all, he thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s too late for that. Mo can’t just- erase He Tian. He can’t get leave this behind.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is done with playing victim.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll dive in. I'll leave. I’ll keep my head down, if I’m taken to where he is.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. I will come back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can’t sleep. He stares at the ceiling in He Cheng’s guest room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng will need four days to procure a passport and plane tickets. Mo just has to wait now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Waiting is the fucking worse.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo didn’t want to go home and risk exposing his mom. He was told he could wait out the time in a guest room in He Cheng’s mansion. That sounded like a stupid idea and Mo did it anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has to wonder if he’s reckless. If this whole thing is too dangerous for his own sake. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls up the ring on the chain and stares at it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe Mo should be running the fuck away and forgetting He Tian altogether. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The metal is smooth between Mo’s fingers. It’s pretty. If you like that sort of shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo drops it and turns to the ceiling again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has to wonder if he’s turning stupid. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Or-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…is it supposed to- be like this? Does everyone feel this shit? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t know how one can fucking tell.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How do you know if you’re normal or if you’re going dumb?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian has known about it for him since fucking middle school, hasn’t he? Maybe he could share some fucking insight.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls out his phone. Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian picks up on the second ring.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Momo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s some plaster design in the ceiling, for indirect light. Rich people are fucking wild. Mo sighs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"How did you know?” Mo asks He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"How did I know what Momo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How did he know about this, for him. In general. Mo doesn’t know how to explain it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Like, all the way back. In fucking middle school. How did you know?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pauses. "How did I know that I liked you?” He asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...you like me?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you fucking kidding Mo?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fuck. Nevermind. I'm just fucking asking. How could you tell?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is silent for a while.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why do you ask Mo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There are no stains, no cracked painting in the ceiling. The He are too rich for that, probably. There’s nothing at all that Mo could distract himself with.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't know. I can’t-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Just a white ceiling. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo turns over in bed and tries again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"This makes me fucking reckless. I wonder if I'm going insane or-” Or if that's how it is supposed to be.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian doesn’t answer right away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...I don't know."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don't know Momo.” He Tian sighs. “But then I've always been reckless. So have you, for that matter."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sure. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sure, Mo has always been reckless but this is something else, something dumber.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're fucking dangerous He Tian. I should be running away."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"And you're not?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pauses. Mo can imagine him searching for words.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You were never afraid of the danger Momo. Not even in middle school. That's not love turning you reckless, that's just part of your personality.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls the phone away and stares at it, like he could somehow glare at He Tian like that. Fucking idiot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo brings the phone back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Who the fuck is talking about love</em>?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We are? That's the theme of the conversation.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s heart will fucking beat out of his chest. How can He Tian just say this shit. Out loud. With his mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck off.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'd lose sleep thinking about you,” He Tian prompts.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>What the fuck is he talking about?</em>, Mo thinks but oh. Yeah. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo asked him how he knew. Mo had lost the train of thought for a moment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s how I knew,” He Tian continues. “When I couldn’t sleep wondering if you even liked me, Momo, or if you truly hated me, I knew then. Or when I’d come up with excuses to talk to you. I’d say the most embarrassing shit but then I'd get your attention and I'd feel like it was worth it, somehow.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That sounds rich to Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You still say embarrassing shit now.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian fucking <em>laughs</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Momo,” He Tian’s voice goes softer. “Don’t know if you noticed but we've got something going on together. The things I say worked somehow.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"More proof that I'm actually going dumb and this isn't normal."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's normal baby. I feel it too."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian has to be stopped sometimes, for Mo’s sanity.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great talk,” Mo tells him, and gets ready to turn off the phone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Momo, wait.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian takes his time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Like, really. He takes his time there.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” Mo tries again, after a lot of waiting.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo,” He Tian starts carefully. “I'll be back. Just wanted you to know that. Sorry about this whole mess, but I’ll be back. Months, even a year from now, it doesn't matter. We'll see each other again one day."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wants to smack him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...we'll see each other again in four days."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"...what?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Goodbye He Tian.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Four days, Mo thinks. Waiting is the fucking worse.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The days pass by in a blur, faster than Mo can keep track of them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Training doesn’t stop. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh no. They still have four days, or so Mo hears. No time to waste.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can barely breathe. All the warm up running, fucking <em>hell</em>. But it’s easier, somehow, these days.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo stretches his neck one way and another. There, that’s good. He wipes the sweat off his forehead. Mo knows the drill by now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo climbs up into the ring. Except Qiu doesn’t follow him in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh no.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>He Cheng</em> does.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What the-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, no, fuck that, we ain’t doing this.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m just gonna test your training kid.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What the fuck. Mo doesn’t want to get beaten up by He Cheng.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t wanna get beaten up by He Cheng.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng stretches his hands. “Are you scared?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit, Mo hates these assholes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Cheng, of course, doesn’t have pads for target training. Just plain old fists. Mo wonders if Qiu was going easy on him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo dodges the first punch. He throws his body back, leaning his weight into his feet behind him, like He Cheng mentioned all those months ago.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good,” He Cheng says, and punches again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can’t catch his breath. He forces himself left, just at the last minute. The hit just barely grazes him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit. Mo is actually holding his ground. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The cockiness costs him a second longer than he could afford. The next punch lands square on Mo’s right cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, Mo is dizzy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wrong move,” He Cheng is telling him. “If you can’t dodge you keep your fists up to-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know, I know.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo fucked up, but he knows the rules. He shakes his head and takes a fighting stance again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do I fight back or am I just dodging?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You fight if you can.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Condescending dickheads. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can do this. Probably.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He keeps his fists up this time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo gets beaten up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is beaten up but he grows resistance, somehow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He has a bandage from where his elbow scrapped against the floor when the guys tried to jump him, and now another on his cheek. His stomach still has some ugly bruises. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it’s like the marks are a reminder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is resilient.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can survive this. Grow thicker skin. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo might even give He Tian a run for his money now if they went one on one. Ha. That would be fun to watch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can sharpen the skills he needs to get through this and one day this mess will be fucking over.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo just need to discipline to get through it. Luckily, that’s something that Mo has to spare, when he wants to.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The days really fucking fly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo blinks and this is it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Going back to his apartment to pack his bag is- it’s quite an experience.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s mom isn’t home. Mo doesn’t know if that’s a blessing or if it’s worse, somehow. Mo gave her excuses these days for where he was. No time for that now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo packs his bag quietly, without lingering on anything in particular. No point in it, he guesses. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t know if it will be a few months until he’s back or- or more. He’s ready, in either case.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo leaves a note explaining in very broad terms the situation. No explicit mention of the mafia, just ‘a bad crowd’ and ‘help from the He family’ and ‘staying away for safety’. His mom will be fucking angry when she sees it. Hopefully Mo will be long gone by then.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo got so mad when He Tian didn’t tell him he was leaving but now that Mo is on the other side he sort of gets it. His mom can’t understand. She also can’t stop him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s easier to ask for forgiveness later.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu nods at him when Mo makes it down into the street. Like, <em>one thing down. Many more to go. </em>Qiu must have seen this script at least a few times by now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo throws his bag in the back seat and settles in for the drive.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The drive is fucking awful. Any kind of distraction would be pretty fucking great, Mo thinks. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo fiddles with the buttons on the radio. Qiu glares at him until he stops. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fine, Mo gets it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks out the window instead. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck, this is stupid. “Why the fuck does He Tian have to be in another continent in the first place? Besides running from enemies, the fuck does he have to do there?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…do you even know what the mafia is?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...thugs for hire?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That barely scratches the surface. Mafia is a structure for organised crime.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sounds obvious enough to Mo. “Alright?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu stares at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Eyes on the road,” Mo tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu turns back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Teenagers,” Qiu says. “Shit Guan Shan. You should do your fucking research<em> before </em>getting caught up and demanding to be send out of the country.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well. Maybe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Mo isn’t really a researching things through kind of guy.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Besides-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where would I even research? Not like I can sign up for class Mafia 101.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu grins, just at the corner of his mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s fucking ignorance is probably amusing to Qiu. <em>How can someone be in deep shit and still have no idea of what is going on? </em>Mo would love to have an idea of what’s going on, if only anyone in this fucking family volunteered information. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu, for some unexplainable reason, takes pity on him. “Mafia 101,” Qiu starts. “Part of the job is local, like thugs for hire and loan sharks, and part is international, the gambling, smuggling of weapons, drug dealing or moving of cargo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh, the He are fucking dangerous.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe Mo <em>should</em> have wondered about this kind of stuff before getting caught up in it. Mo sees the point now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu makes a curve left and stops at a red light.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thugs for hire. If someone wants to conduct business in our territory they can hire our men to do it.“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ok, he doesn’t have to be condescending.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That part I get,” Mo says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good for you. Loan sharks. We give a lot of money in cash, no questions asked, for people in need.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo knows.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I get that part too. After- my mom, we got into some debt. Those loans come with high interest rates and your men pay a visit if you miss any payments.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Light turns green. Qiu drives again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, you got it. Drug dealing. We don't produce drugs but we control territory. If a dealer has business within our area they need our permission. If they get it, for a fee, we provide protection for those transactions.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu is methodical about it. Like that’s the very very basic and it’s no skin off his back if Mo knows or not. Mo can follow it so far.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Those are the local jobs,” Qiu continues, “but a lot of the others involve contractors elsewhere. Weapons are a part of a bigger league. That depends on external contacts and on negotiating each of the local transaction fees.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. Negotiating. That’s probably what He Tian does in business trips.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What else,” Qiu. “Sometimes we're hired to transport precious cargo. Our men make sure it reaches the other side.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That sounds shady to Mo. “What kind of cargo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jewels from unauthorised mining, stolen goods. Any kind of illegal deals. Cargo passes through a lot of check points, where government officials inspect what you're carrying, so we need the right contacts around the globe. That's the kind of stuff that a representative for the He family negotiates on international trips.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A representative like He Tian.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Like He Tian, when he's in the mood to collaborate. It's not always, he's said he wants to leave the family before. But right now we are in a transition period that puts him at risk and it is within his best interest to make sure that transition occurs safely. He's been running negotiating jobs for He Cheng.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can imagine it. He Tian sure looks the part.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is he a good negotiator?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian? When he wants to be. What else. Prostitution. Some other mafia families run brothels, we don't. It's not the most lucrative business in Hangzhou. We go after bigger sharks.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…but?" Mo asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But we do have some prostitutes. They're called in for conducting business.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">'Conducting business.' Right.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Some men need to have their ego stroked. They are more willing to negotiate the prices if you meet them with prostitutes and alcohol first. So we keep a few prostitutes on our pay checks. Both men and women.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...you have men?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">...He Tian has direct access to male prostitutes? Fuck him. Fuck, does he sleep with them?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why, you're interested?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you understand <em>any</em> of that Guan Shan?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dick.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes Qiu. Loan sharks, weapons, cargo. Controlling an area and providing protection for business transactions occurring within the territory.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We'll make a henchman out of you yet.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Are they still on that? Mo thought they had dropped it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu is heading towards the G60 highway for Shanghai, Mo notices. Mo stops him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I, uh- I’ve gotta stop somewhere first.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu glances at him, and takes a turn to head back into town.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Make it quick.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With Zheng Xi it’s not so easy. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo owed <em>him</em> an explanation at least.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The fuck happened to you?” Zheng Xi asks, when he let Mo in. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo probably still looks worse for the wear.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Some guys tried to jump me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shit. Where the fuck was Qiu?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Great fucking question, Mo thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They used a moment he let his guard down.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi frowns. “They’ve probably been watching you for a long time then. Waiting for a window.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s a great conversation starter, ironically enough. It should lead Mo to the root of the problem.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. Speaking of which.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now or never.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m leaving too.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi pauses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re kidding.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo shakes his head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi slowly takes this in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Holy shit Guan Shan.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, Mo knows.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shit.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m in danger Zheng Xi,” Mo is worked up, like this is boiling out of him and he needs to put it into fucking words. “I can’t fucking ignore the problem until it goes away. It’s not fucking working. I can’t turn my back and pretend it never happened. And I ran out of fucking alternatives. I have to do something. I can’t let this shit reach my mom.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shit.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi sits down.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I get it. I understand but still. This is fucked up.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It sure fucking is.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Literally all my friends are gone then.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo knew it’d be like this but he still somehow didn’t plan the right words to say.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Talk to buzzcut. If you want someone to hangout with at school, I mean. He and the others will welcome you in. Keeps your head down, do your school work. This will be over before we notice it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Zheng Xi needs a moment. Mo fucking gets it. A lot to process.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Am I- I mean, my little sister, are we-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You guys are all safe. But then I don’t think we’ll keep much contact once I’m gone.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’re quiet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo sits down next to him too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We were a bunch of middle schoolers playing at picnics. When did life happen?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t fucking know. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it did.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Some things don’t come back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is not really the hugging type but apparently Zheng Xi is. Mo hugs back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Take care of yourself out there, Guan Shan.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo will.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You too Zheng Xi.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qiu drops him off at the airport, passport and plane tickets in hand, and the instructions for what to do next.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This is it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fucking hell.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Passport control goes by perfectly. He Cheng’s contacts are good.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s ticket is first class. Of course it is. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has a fully reclinable seat and over 4.500 channels on the on board entertainment system and he enjoys none of it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s too busy being fucking <em>nervous</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has never even been in an airplane before. Of course the first time would have He Tian written all over it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls out the brochure with emergency guidelines. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit. There’s a lot of guidelines. And they still have what, 11 hours to go?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is truly about to crawl out of his skin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s gonna be a long flight.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Two hours in and Mo is officially bored.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Three and he’s rethinking all of his life choices.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck He Tian, honestly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Four and Mo is back to bored. He has mentally forgiven He Tian for being annoying and now he just wants to land.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit this is a long flight.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The old lady next to him this time is hell bent on making conversation. Mo’s general aura and personality don’t seem to stop her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s broken English is enough to understand the basics, but not enough to answer much back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She pulls put a fucking translating app on her phone, because she’s clearly a condescending dick.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Your hair is such a lovely colour darling, do you dye it?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Such a long flight, isn’t it?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I guess.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>What will you do in your travel?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No clue.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s even true. Mo has no fucking clue. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe start by picking up a fight with He Tian, just to get it out of his system. He Tian would deserve it, probably.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s short answers don’t discourage her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh, that’s such a shame, he learns. She was visiting her daughter in Changzhou, you see. Her daughter married a Chinese man and has been living abroad for seven years. Not a bad thing, of course, but it is <em>such</em> a long way. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wonders how long he will be abroad. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tries very hard not to think of his mom.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How about your wife dear, does she live abroad too?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…the fuck?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s such a crazy idea that Mo is thrown out of his musings.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My <em>wife</em>?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She points at his chest. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo forgot to hide the ring beneath his shirt.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pulls it up and looks at it again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s a man,” Mo says finally. Maybe she’ll have a problem with it and leave him alone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No such luck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Does he live abroad then?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo lets the ring fall again. He sighs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You could say that. But Mo will catch up soon enough.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the end the emergency guidelines don’t come into play. A million years later they land, just as they’re supposed to, and Mo has officially survived an airplane flight.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo arrives.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He fucking- arrives.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo can barely fucking believe it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He goes through immigration and baggage claim in a haze. Mo is not processing this yet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It all goes through without a hitch. Mo <em>landed</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo walks through the doors at Arrivals and finds himself scanning the crowd. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s dumb. He Tian isn’t here, Mo knows. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo- </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo didn’t actually tell He Tian he was coming, did he? He Tian doesn’t know of any reason to be at an airport. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Whatever, it was a dumb thought.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Mo scans the crowd all the same. In the chick flicks there’s always a dramatic reunion at the airport. Fuck knows He Tian is all for drama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…but yeah. None of the faces in crowd are him. Mo checks again to be sure. He Tian is not there. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s fine. They’re in the same country. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo will see him soon enough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is a little further from the people gathered. All black, loose pants, tight fitting shirt. He’s got his arms crossed, taking a casual stance against a pillar down the back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s looking directly at Mo. He’s there.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s there.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh, thank fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo walks past the crowd and stops in front of him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian watches him for a moment, eyes running over the lines of Mo’s face. Mo is not used to the scrutiny.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then He Tian is pulling him in and hugging tight. Mo drops his bag on the floor.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit. Mo is fucking touching him again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We gotta stop meeting like this,” He Tian says into Mo's hair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stop fucking leaving asshole and maybe we will.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian fucking laughs. “Holy shit Momo I missed you so much.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo breathes him in and hugs back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Cheng told me you were coming but I didn’t believe him,” He Tian tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe you should have.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t usually give a fuck about He Cheng. But, in this case, He Cheng was on his side.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pulls away and looks at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I underestimated you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo meets his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. Yeah, you fucking did.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">_________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, where’s Jian Yi?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian gives him a mechanically blank face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pardon?” He asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks done at him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Seriously? You guys have a third brother that couldn’t hurt a fly and was sent out of the country when this started and also, unrelated, but Jian Yi is gone?” Mo can connect some dots sometimes. “He’s your brother. Where is he?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s mask slowly clears. He gives Mo an impressed little smile.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo thinks being underestimated is not the worst thing. It means you take people by surprise sometimes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s away on business. Should be back tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cool.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks around them, at the airport in general.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So. What can you do in Luxembourg?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There’s a cliffside downtown, with a bridge. The view is pretty good.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck that, we have bridges in China.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian laughs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…you’ve never been out of the country, have you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No. When would Mo have done that? He didn’t think it was something to be fucking embarrassed about.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But He Tian isn’t looking at him with pity. Just, curiosity, Mo guesses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo shrugs. “No, not really.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian takes his bag before Mo can protest. Fucking dick. Mo fights for it. He Tian walks backwards and keeps it out of reach. Idiot. He can fucking carry it then, see if Mo cares.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Mo stops fighting He Tian grins at him. He leads Mo towards the exit with a hand around Mo’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll explore the city later then. There’s typical European architecture. Like a cathedral and the residence of the grand duke, that kind of stuff. If we take a train north we can see a castle.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wants to see a castle. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s sure as fuck not mentioning that. Imagine the fucking teasing he would have to endure.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it’s fine, Mo thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’ve got time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If there’s one thing they’ve got in this town, it’s time.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I believe that part of Mo’s initial reluctance towards his same-sex feelings are due to people’s misconceptions and prejudice. But in a place like Luxembourg, for example, close to 90% of the population believe LGBT people should have all the same rights. I wonder what Mo would be like after a while in an environment like that. Maybe a little more conformable in his own skin. Thoughts for a different fic, I guess lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Breathing in (He Tian’s POV)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>POV shift.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is very, very used to being alone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He watches the night view of the city through his window. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s used to it. He knows of nothing else.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His eyes drift over the buildings, the streetlights, not focusing on anything in particular. With each blink he pushes back at his exhaustion. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is used to an endless night, lying awake and trembling in the dark. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s used to the dark.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He woke up in a cold sweat, curled in on himself. He can taste bile on his throat. Shit. He Tian is used to having the things he holds dear being taken from him, he’s used to the dreams, and he’s used to swallowing back his fucking shame, his guilt, until he fucking chokes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But he still has no fucking clue what to do, in nights like this.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">__________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>One year into high-school.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian watches Mo. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is staring off into the distance, ignoring self-study class. He Tian is sure Mo didn’t pay attention to a single word today. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is not one to judge. He didn’t pay much attention himself. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is looking out the window. He Tian is looking at Mo. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He makes a paper ball and throws it at Mo’s head. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Score.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo focuses back, startled, and glares at He Tian. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The best part for He Tian is how Mo was miles away and he definitively didn’t see who threw the ball. He just looks at He Tian on instinct. Mo gets distracted, his mind is miles away, but the moment his attention is back the first person he seeks out is He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian catches Mo’s eyes and makes a heart with his hands.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo actually stares at him incredulously. After a moment Mo flips him off. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But- He Tian can’t explain. Mo is flipping him off but it’s not angry. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At some point, over the months, they’ve grown past angry.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They are something else altogether.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian mimes opening the paper. Mo rolls his eyes. He turns back around and plays hard to get. He Tian counts inside his head. 1, 2, 3-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pretends he’s not gonna open the paper for a grand total of 4 seconds before he succumbs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The paper just has some doodles that He Tian had been making in class. Mo as a tomato, Mo as a fox. In one he tried a little tornado Mo. Wild and unpredictable, like his angry red ball of fur. It’s not well done, fuck knows He Tian is not an artist, but it’s cute. If He Tian does say so himself. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks puzzled at the paper. His expression is so funny. He Tian feels like he accomplished something. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo adds something to paper, crunches it up and throws it back at He Tian.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He misses the mark.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, He Tian laughs that one. He keeps it quiet but Mo’s glare intensifies. You can’t even throw a ball Momo?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo mouths ‘<em>fuck off</em>’, very clearly, and He Tian can get it even without sound. He Tian smiles at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The paper landed on the desk of a girl to He Tian's left. She picks it up, and, after looking at He Tian, she doesn’t open it. Good girl.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian pushes his hair back from his face and gives her the shyest little smile that he can muster. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can I please..?” He gestures to the paper.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She smiles back, clearly dazed. She gives him the paper, keeping eye contact for a moment or two, and turns back to her study.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When He Tian glances ahead again Mo’s glare is even worst, somehow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Be jealous</em>, He Tian thinks very hard at him, with all the hope he can muster. <em>Be so jealous of me you choke</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian opens the paper. Mo made him into a penis. Pff. He Tian was not expecting that one. It’s hard to hold in his laughter. Mo is so <em>cute</em>. It’s a dick with something outlined on top that must be He Tian’s hair, He Tian’s face. Next to it Mo wrote <em>dickhead</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian loves him so much.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian imagines the girl’s reaction if she had, in fact, opened it. Maybe that’s what Mo was glaring at.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian writes next to it and throws the paper back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo catches it up mid air this time. To prove that he hasn’t lost coordination? Good for him, if so. He Tian lets his expression show that he’s properly impressed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo rolls his eyes and opens the paper.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>thinking of me and dicks huh Momo? I don’t blame you, I’m very good looking</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This time Mo flushes, his entire face red with his blush. He mouths ‘<em>fuck off</em>’ again. He doesn’t throw the paper back</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Huh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s- </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s a reaction, all right.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian throws another paper.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <b> <em>are</em> </b> <em> you thinking about me and dicks?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo reads, and doesn’t bother with a response.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian throws another.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>momo.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t even read that one.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. He Tian is gonna crawl out of his skin here.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Don’t </em><b><em>ignore</em></b><em> me</em>, He Tian thinks. There’s nothing worse than Mo ignoring him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Good or bad, think of me.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian picks up another paper, willing to compromise.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Ok, temporary peace. Can you come over to cook later? I’ll pay the usual.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo catches it out of the air again and still doesn’t read it. <em>Shit. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">While Mo’s still turned to pick it up He Tian sticks his tongue out at Mo. Momo rolls his eyes and mimics punching him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s good to see <em>high school students</em> behaving so well for self study.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. They got so distracted they didn’t notice the teacher walking back into the room.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She is glaring at them. He Tian feels properly chastised.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ms.-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you two saying you can’t be left alone for five minutes? You’re not children anymore. Act like it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes Madam,” they reply in unison.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She announces the end of the self study session and makes them stay behind to clean the room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Meh, it was self study. There’s not much to clean anyway. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian suspects the teacher chose this punishment, instead of something like written detention, because she’s always liked He Tian. Being popular has its merits.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian and Mo rock-paper-scissors it out for chores, and they each take one half of the room to clean. He Tian entertains a thought of ignoring it, leaving it all for Mo, just to see his reaction. But there’s only so much He Tian can push on a single day.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They work in relative silence. It passes by easier than he expected.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks around the room. There, done. Mo seems to think so too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they’re leaving Mo pauses at the door. He Tian looks back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“At what time?” Mo asks, looking at the paper.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…wha- </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. The cooking. He Tian didn’t notice Mo opening the note but he did, he’s looking at it now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo<em> opened the note</em>. Mo is not that angry. Or at least- </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Even when Mo is angry he can’t ignore He Tian.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can’t stay away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is so <em>happy</em>. He feels fucking giddy. Has the day always been so bright? Has Mo’s hair always been this beautiful?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo frowns.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up,” Mo tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…I didn’t say anything?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Your face was looking stupid.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They are on the edge of something. He Tian is not being self centred here. They are on a precipice<em>, </em>he swears. They have pulled out a couple chairs, sure, made themselves comfortable on the fucking edge, but- </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But He Tian sees the way Mo looks at him. How far Mo has come. He Tian is not being deluded, Mo can feel this too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian really, really thinks Mo can feel this too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has been stringing him along but one of these days they’ll take a leap. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can wait.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do you have you part-time today?” He Tian asks him. Mo shrugs in which, for him, is neutral compliance. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Until 7 right? It can be after. Just come over to my place.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See ya,” Mo tells him, and pushes past to leave.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s not a man of many words. But He Tian is getting pretty good at reading between the lines. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One of these days, he swears.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">__________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian isn’t exactly right. He knows that. He isn’t like the rest of his classmates, so cheerful and fucking careless. He Tian is lonely and he has something dark, twisted running trough his veins.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian could manipulate every last one of them, it’s so easy. He could put on a brilliant smile, say the right words and have them falling into his hands.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo sure as fuck didn’t fall for his act. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo could see right through him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he still- Mo doesn’t run. He still puts up with He Tian. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">More than that. Mo is slowly letting He Tian under his skin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is so tired of being alone and his one desire, again and again, is for Mo to pay attention to him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo indulged him so beautifully.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s gaze sometimes seemed to say,</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I’m here. I’m fucking here. Now what?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now what indeed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can’t wait to find out.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">__________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can’t breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The water is everywhere, forcing him deep down. He can’t fucking breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can’t breathe and he’s panicking, trashing, wasting air in his struggle. He burns with the need to take a breath.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The impact of the crash left him disorientated. He doesn’t know which way is up. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t know where to swim <em>towards</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. He’s running out of time and every move he makes hurts his strained body.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He has to hold on. Shit, He Tian has to survive. If he could find a light somehow, he thinks desperately, he could swim towards it, find the way up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can’t find a light. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s only never ending darkness and his lungs are burning. There’s a loud ringing in his ears and his small arms hurt with the effort to keep him moving. He has to find the surface. He needs to find the surface. He needs to breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He opens his mouth on a raw, brutal scream. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No one hears it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The water doesn’t carry the sound. In his desperation He Tian chokes on the water. The scream consumes the air that was left on his body. When it’s over he swallows water until he his lungs are full. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian opens his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Shit</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It takes a long time to get his breathing under control.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In real life there was a light. He Tian knows.The problem wasn’t when he was pushed. The problem wasn’t swimming back up. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The problem was what awaited him above water.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian wonders if this is his mind’s way to work through the trauma. The problem is above water? No problemo, you just won’t come back, stuck forever on those seconds before the world comes crashing around you<em>. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian laughs, humorless, the sound echoing in aa dry screech on the empty room. Seems like a fail proof plan. It he doesn’t resurface, he doesn’t have to see what is waiting for him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lets his eyes adjust to the dark. The sheets are tangled up in a mess around him. He Tian feels so fucking alone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For one long, agonising second, he thinks he’s gonna cry. He’s so, so tired.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian has demons and a short temper and way too much bad will on his hands. He doesn’t know how anyone puts up with him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…well.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Mo does</em>, some part of his brain whispers. Mo puts up with him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There are days, lying awake in the dark, when the thought is not enough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is so fucking lonely. It’s pathetic.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A needy, ugly part of him just wanted Mo to pet his hair and tell him it’s gonna be alright.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">__________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The mafia business catch up to He Tian. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were doomed to, eventually.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is spoiled, and lonely, and so very selfish, but Mo comes first. He Tian wants Mo safe. He’ll stay away, if that’s what he has to do.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One week before he is set to leave He Tian invited Mo over to his place, with an excuse about needing him to cook. He Tian knew it was an excuse and <em>Mo</em> knew it was an excuse and Mo still came anyway. He’s been doing that more and more over the months. It soothes something heavy in He Tian’s heart.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t know what this is an excuse<em> for. </em>He doesn’t know that He Tian is inviting him out of a desperate need to say goodbye. But Mo still knows it is an excuse, knows that He Tian exaggerates, knows that He Tian wouldn’t starve without him. He still comes anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian wonders, with a choking bittersweetness, how close they were, if their time together wasn’t being cut so abruptly short. He Tian knows that Mo blushes around him, knows that Mo can’t keep away. Maybe in another few months, in another few <em>weeks</em> they might have-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It doesn’t matter. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">From the moment Mo walked in tonight He Tian has watched him. He doesn’t think Mo noticed, Mo is caught up in his own task. And thank god for that, because He Tian couldn’t stop watching him now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian doesn’t know how long he’ll be gone for. Jian Yi has been gone for over a year. He Tian may have more than that ahead of him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He follows the lines of Mo’s face with his eyes, trying to commit every single detail to memory.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is complaining about how dangerously understocked his house is and how he even fucking survives with such an empty fridge, “…I’m serious, what the fuck do you eat all day? <em>Ramen</em>? One one these days you’ll drop fucking dead out of malnutrition. You’re rich, buy a fucking vegetable, …”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian smiles. Shit, he’s gonna miss him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian considers telling Mo. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But the thought doesn’t go far. If He Tian tells him Mo will just- shut He Tian out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is fucking terrible expressing feelings. Mo prefers to close himself off emotionally than to allow someone in who could hurt him. If he finds out that He Tian is leaving he will try to forget He Tian altogether.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is selfish. He can’t fucking let Mo forget him. He can’t leave Mo’s mind.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If he is gone without a warning it will hurt that much more than if Mo could brace himself for it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian wants it to hurt.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is selfish. He will have this night. As perfect as he can make it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then he will let go.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, Mo fucks that up in days. He Tian is incredulous. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is so fucking proud. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On the day that He Tian is set to leave Mo marches down to He Cheng’s. He Tian is talking to one of the underlings, running over details of how the immigration office will be handled, all the most boring things in the world. He turns and Mo is just- there. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is there.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian thought he wouldn’t see him again. Not for a long time. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is filled with <em>longing</em>, so immediate he can barely breathe. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian has no idea how long he’ll be away. He thought- he thought he had already said his goodbye to Mo. He wasn’t expecting this. His heart suddenly races. Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His eyes drift over every patch of skin. He fucking aches to touch, breathe in his hair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What is Mo doing here?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo turned his back to the room, and he’s walking away. He Tian is confused trying to piece together the scene.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo-ge?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pauses, and turns around. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is so fucking <em>beautiful</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian had made his peace with not seeing him for a long time. But holy shit, He Tian wan’t ready.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is close enough to touch. He Tian can’t read his expression.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you doing here?” He Tian asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks around at the men in the room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit, they’re watching Mo now. Mo will close off under the scrutiny.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, I was just leaving.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, He Tian figured.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A wrong turn into my brother’s house? Mo-”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo turns back and starts walking away. Shit. He Tian excuses himself and follows him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pauses between the front door and a hallway. He Tian catches up with him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Here,” he says, and guides Mo to the hallway with a hand behind Mo’s back. Zheng Xi and Qiu are there too, He Tian sees. He pushes even further, past them and into one of the rooms.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo allows him. He doesn’t really look around. When they stop, Mo turns and leans against the wall.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I heard you are leaving,” Mo finally says. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That explains it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo wasn’t supposed to know. He Tian sure as hell didn’t tell him. Mo would shut him out in self protection. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian watches Mo’s eyes. But if he heard and he’s here…</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You came to say goodbye?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can barely <em>believe</em> it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you,” Mo tells him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian feels a huge smile break his face and he couldn’t stop it if he tried. Mo glares. He Tian doesn’t care. Mo came to see him. Mo came to see him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How long will you be gone for?” Mo asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know yet. I’m sorry. Not too long, I think.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Anything you can share?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is pushing. Mo doesn’t usually push about his business. Maybe Mo is thinking about Jian Yi, the disappearance. It’s been over one year by now, He Tian thinks. Mo wants reassurance.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can’t reassure him. Not in good conscience. “No. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks down. “Well, don’t die or something. See ya.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except, Mo doesn’t go anywhere. He doesn’t move and then He Tian has a gloved hand tilting his chin up, to meet his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo you came here to say goodbye. Don’t be a coward.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo looks up and meets his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian doesn’t know what he can see in there. A challenge? Mo always looks at him with a hint of a challenge anyway. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is this- </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…is this the day that Mo will take him up on it?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy <em>shit</em> holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s heart <em>races</em>. Every single nerve in his body comes alight with anticipation.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is gonna do it. Mo is gonna do it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian holds perfectly still.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels a breath tingling his lips, a millimetre away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo reaches up the last distance and meets He Tian’s lips.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fuck.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The air comes out of him in a rush. Mo kissed him. Mo kissed him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian feels on fucking fire. He Tian raises his hands to the back of Mo's head and kisses him with barely any pressure. He Tian is being <em>so very</em> careful not to spook him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo breathes out hard again his skin. Fuck. He Tian presses small kisses to Mo's lips. Every touch makes He Tian <em>light up</em>. Goosebumps break on his skin. Holy shit. He Tian is kissing Mo. He’s wanted this for so long.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He realises he doesn’t have to be so hesitant. Mo allows him in. Mo isn’t going anywhere.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In one kiss He Tian presses in just lightly, until he coxes Mo's lips open and sucks on Mo's bottom lip.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He waits with bated breath for Mo’s reaction.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo sighs against his lips. So fucking pretty. He Tian would be in trouble with Mo if he voiced that thought. Mo is goddamn adorable. Mo is so hot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo presses up into another kiss.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian indulges him, falling easily into it. Mo is kissing him. Mo, the redhead angry asshole He Tian has wanted since the first dat he’s met him, that Mo is breathing out again his lips and pushing up for another touch. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is so fucking lucky. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One of his thumbs strokes Mo's cheek. Well. Maybe lucky would be the wrong word. He still has to leave. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…he is leaving. Today.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The reminder is like a bucket of cold water. Before the kiss can really build up He Tian pulls away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks at Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is frowning, keeping his face on the same old expression. Yeah, sure, but He Tian knows better by now. He Tian sighs into Mo's lips.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve been stringing me along for 18 months and you make a move when I'm about to leave?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is suddenly interested in a thread hanging low in his shirt. “You’ve been counting the months?” he asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Absolutely.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian tries to process what happened. Mo didn’t kiss him in spite of the fact that He Tian is leaving. He kissed him because of it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian leans back so he can look at Mo properly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'll be back. You know that, right?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo’s expression doesn’t betray his feelings.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever,” Mo says. He takes one last look at He Tian’s face and squares up. “Don’t die.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wouldn’t dream of it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo turns away. This time He Tian doesn’t stop him. His hands fall away from Mo’s face and he makes room for Mo to leave.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They walk out of the room quietly. This moment, right here, is one of the hardest things He Tian has gone through.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This is a goodbye. He knows it is.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lets his eyes linger on Mo for every single second until Mo steps out, until Mo’s presence, Mo’s warmth, is nothing more than a memory.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can still feel Mo in his lips. He touches them lightly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian doesn’t know how long he’ll be gone for but he thinks every second would be worth it, if he can take this memory with him.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is lonely too, He Tian comes to realise. But in a different way. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t think he can count on anyone. He’s on alert, always ready in case-, no, always <em>expecting</em> people to betray him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The reasons differ. The end result is the same. He Tian can see himself reflected in Mo’s eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has his emotions tightly closed off, like <em>that</em> is going to make him stop feeling them. He’s stupid. You can’t keep yourself from having feelings. He Tian learned that the hard way, once or twice. He Tian wants, with a desperation that claws out of him, he <em>wants</em> for Mo’s feelings to be for him. Good or bad. All of it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But hopefully good. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t want to leave Mo’s fucking mind.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lucky for him, Mo clearly can’t keep his mind off of He Tian himself. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian wonders if Mo feels the same thing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian wonders if they can be good for each other, somehow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Or if they would just burst into flames. He really, really wants to find out.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course, any chance of He Tian staying away is gone and buried now. He Cheng will have to deal with it. He Tian will leave but there’s <em>no way in fucking hell</em> he’ll stop talking to Mo. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After Mo’s kiss, well. Mo would misunderstand if He Tian was silent. Besides, He Tian just plain old misses him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian sends a text. When that ‘<em>typing’</em> bubble pops up He Tian feels the thrill of anticipation.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo changed everything.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I had the craziest dream. It was right before I left, you went over to my brother's to see me and you kissed me????????????  </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>5:52pmHe Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>?????????</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>5:52pmHe Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>And then told me not to die and left.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>5:52pmHe Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I have no idea what you're talking about.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>5:53pm- Momo </em> </span> <span class="s2">💕💖</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian stares at his phone. Even when Mo is playing hard to get he’s just so cute. He Tian loves every second that he has Mo’s attention.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he definitely has his attention now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian gets high on power.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Do you ever think about it?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>5:53pmHe Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>No.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>5:53pm- Momo </em> </span> <span class="s2">💕💖</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bitch, please.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Liar.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>5:53pmHe Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>It's been 3 months, I barely remember what you look like.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>5:54pm- Momo </em> </span> <span class="s2">💕💖</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You've been counting the months?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>5:54pmHe Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>You’re hilarious. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>5:55pm - Momo </em> </span> <span class="s2">💕💖</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I try.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>5:55pm He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On a whim He Tian sends him a picture. Mo fucking kissed him. Mo must- Mo likes what He Tian has going on. Right? He Tian needs to remind him of it. Show him what he looks like, what Mo should be thinking of. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What if Mo forgets him somehow?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is silent for long enough for He Tian to start getting insecure. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>…say something.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:08pm He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Is that a face you would kiss again next time you see me?  Be honest, yes, no, maybe? </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:08pm He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Next time I see you I'm fighting you for being stupid and getting involved in shit that takes you to another country for months.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>6:09pm - Momo </em> </span> <span class="s2">💕💖</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is it just He Tian or that sounds an awful lot like a confession? Momo, you closet sweetheart. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Deep inside Mo is a marshmallow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well. Way deep inside. But He Tian is nothing if not a believer.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>…that’s you saying you miss me? I think that’s you saying you miss me.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:09pm He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Chicken dick.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>6:10pm   - Momo </em> </span> <span class="s2">💕💖</span></p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I'm gonna go ahead and consider this you missing me.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:10pm He Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s amazing how fast Mo can make him happy. Mo says half a dozen things and he makes He Tian’s entire day.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian starts thinking about dinner, making loose plans. His phone pings in with another message.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Stay safe.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>6:13pm   - Momo </em> </span> <span class="s2">💕💖</span> <span class="s1">  </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy <em>shit</em>, is this for real? He Tian pinches himself just to check. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reality. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well. Yeah, of course. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His dreams are never quite this nice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit Mo is the sweetest.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I will.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:15pmHe Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Good night momo.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>6:15pmHe Tian</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>night.  </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"> <em>6:16am   - Momo </em> </span> <span class="s2">💕💖</span> <span class="s1">  </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has given him something that He Tian can not put into the words.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Something so <em>precious</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Love, a traitorous part of his mind whispers. What Mo has given. He Tian thinks it might be love. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian feels it like a physical weight. Like something that he can hold in his hands and that he has to be so, so careful about. Mo has given him a feeling <em>heavy</em> and so precious. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo has given him the most beautiful thing that He Tian has. He Tian thinks about being lonely, all those months ago, and he thinks about the feeling in his chest, which might be something else entirely.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian has physical training, private classes. He follows the instructions with discipline. The more he cooperates, the sooner this whole thing will be over.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And between one thing and the next he also texts Mo, and does everything in his power to keep Mo falling for him, the way He Tian himself already has with Mo. He doesn’t know if it’s working. He sure as fuck hopes it is.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He won’t be back anytime soon. But this, <em>this</em> he can do.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is laying very still, watching Mo sleep.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is so beautiful.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not even in his wildest fantasies He Tian could have predicted Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is on day two of the three he has in China. It’s passing by so fucking fast. He wants to stay awake somehow, just to watch Mo breathe. Shit, he’s a creeper. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still, Mo likes him somehow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo likes him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian reaches out, just shy of touching one of the hairs. Light as a feather, he lets his finger touch one ear, above the piercing. Mo doesn’t awake. He Tian closes his forefinger and thumb on the earlobe. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is one angry asshole but he looks almost serene like this. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is gonna hurt him by leaving, all over again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But this moment is quiet, right now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can’t come to regret it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It all happened in the first place because He Tian was leaving, wasn’t it? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can’t come to regret it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sometimes, a dark edge in He Tian looks at Mo and wants to try out his boundaries. It wants to test how far He Tian can push. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can push a lot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But even that desire fades with time, along with every single misconception He Tian had about him, about the two of them, together.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d thought, once upon a time, that if they ever allowed this to happen they’d fucking blow up, match to the flame.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t think that anymore. Or maybe they would be the explosion but they would also be the ones to put each other back together.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo stretches in his sleep. He Tian watches. He Tian has so much love and he hopes Mo wants it because he has nothing else to do with it. No one else to give it to. He just has a lot of love and it is all for Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian finds himself staying very quiet, so as to not disturb Mo’s sleep. He’s almost holding his breath.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian can’t breathe. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He's choking on his own blood. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gun shot? A physical fight? The thoughts are hazy. He can’t fucking breathe. He’s choking on blood and he’s dying. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He is catatonic in his panic. He’s gonna die. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His aching body wants to pass out from blood loss. He Tian is tempted to allow it, to simply give in to the darkness around him. But somehow he knows that Mo will be next.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Mo</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He screams for Mo, the sound coming out gargled in blood.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Mo will be next</em> and He Tian can’t- can’t let anything happen to him. He sees the shadows growing harsher, all around him, and he fights with renewed desperation against the blood in his mouth, in his chin, in his lungs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Mo</em>-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo turns to looks at him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then he… keeps looking, right through He Tian. His eyes are distant. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No, please, no.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn’t care about He Tian enough to pay attention, to heed his warning.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian <em>can’t handle that</em>. He Tian can’t deal with Mo pretending he doesn’t give a shit anymore. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>And he must be pretending</em>, his mind supplies, <em>because until recently</em> Mo did care. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Mo cared</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian knows this. Mo cared about him. He doesn’t understand the cold look, it doesn’t make sense, Mo is not indifferent to him. Mo cares. What the fuck is He Tian supposed to do if Mo decides to never fucking talk to him again? He can’t-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo-“ he tries to call for him, through the blood in his throat. Mo just stares unseeingly past him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shadows force their way closer, inches away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian reaches out and his finger grazes against Mo. If he just stretches a little further he might be able to hold on to him. To protect him. He tries with every last energy to close the distance.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He fails.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shadows engulf Mo. He’s attacked and He Tian has to watch, powerless, just out of reach.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian, come on.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hmm?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is disoriented. A cold shiver, sharp as ice, runs down his veins.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It takes He Tian a long moment to ground himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s an ache behind He Tian’s eyes. His breathing is coming out fast, out of control. The inside of his head feels like scrambled eggs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…wha..?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian tries to focus.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It sounds like the name has been called out before. Maybe more than once. Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian opens his eyes. Mo is straddling him, with his hands pushed into He Tian’s hair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Mo</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is <em>straddling him</em>. Holding him down? Shit, maybe He Tian was trashing in his sleep. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The weight is grounding. And Mo is petting him. The thought is so ludicrous but it’s true, Mo is petting his hair. That’s when He Tian seems to catch up somehow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nightmare.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is not used to this moment. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nightmares for him have always been a very lonely affair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…Momo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. It’s me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is still trembling. He brings his hands up to Mo’s wrists.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you,” he tells Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is not lonely anymore, some part of him whispers. But the world is still crashing down on him — he’s only in China for a <em>weekend</em>, for fucks sake. This interlude won’t last.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When it’s apparent that He Tian is calm Mo lowers himself to bed again. He Tian panics, thinking Mo is gonna pull away, and on instinct he presses in against Mo’s wrists.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo lets him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit. He Tian is not used to this part either. Mo keeps his hands where they are, on He Tian’s hair, and combs the strands with his fingers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian turns his face and kisses Mo’s palm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you so afraid of?” Mo asks him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is quiet. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t know how to put it into words.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I'm afraid of someone killing my dog,” he says finally.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo takes his time to process. He Tian doesn’t mind. He stays still, listening to the in and out of his breathing in the quiet room.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you mean me, I’m not a dog He Tian. I fight back.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The unexpected answer has He Tian letting out some air, almost a laugh. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah. That’s an understatement if he’s ever heard one.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You sure do, Mo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo falls asleep first. He Tian kisses the top of his head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian loves him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s peace that comes with knowledge, each time. He Tian loves him. It makes this easier, somehow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He waits until Mo is in deep sleep to get up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He leaves a gift for Mo in the nightstand. A declaration of intent, if you will. Also a request for forgiveness.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He watches for a long time the sleeping figure in bed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But when he leaves, he doesn't look back.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is not the same guy that left China, the first time, all those months ago. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knows he’s not. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He has aged in the time apart — he has been forced into a sense of maturity that he assumed would come with time. If only. He took the crash course into abandoning your childhood and now he’s weary. A few more scars.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian fits well into the loose clothes with black gloves, or into the brass knuckles, or into the business suits and negotiating smiles. He’s perceptive, malleable. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He has traits that can be used, around here.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian no longer tries to run from his roots. No point in it. He’s learned this, that there’s no point in running. His family connection will follow him wherever he goes. He might as well play the part. And, he discovers, he plays the part beautifully. Whatever darkness he can find in him, it fits perfectly with the job.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The one part that he regrets is getting Mo caught up in all of this. He wishes there was a way he could be Mo’s boyfriend and still keep him separated from the mess. Keep him safe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There isn’t. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well, Mo is certainly capable of making his own choices. And He Tian is powerless to him. If Mo chooses him, somehow, well. He Tian sure as fuck won’t stay away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Waiting in an airport for something that he never, ever thought would be coming, He Tian remembers that thought. The thought about choosing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo hasn’t noticed him yet. He Tian takes the time to watch him. Mo is calm, perhaps a little tired. Single bag slung over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is the most beautiful man in the world.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo walked through the double doors at Arrivals today and He Tian knows he has chosen. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In this moment, suspended in time, the two of them have settled on their fate. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian feels a strange sort of calmness about it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo notices him. He comes close, stops only a couple feet away. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian tells him he underestimated him. Mo agrees. Half a dozen words between them. Mo is so, so close. He Tian can count his fucking eyelashes if he wants to. Everything else doesn’t matter. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo seems to get the memo. They embrace (finally, <em>finally</em>,) and He Tian breathes in his hair. Holy shit. He’s wanted this for so long. Mo feels so soft between his arms. So perfect. He Tian loves Mo with every breath that he breathes in, with the air in his lungs, with every breath he lets out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo hugs him and He Tian holds him tight. It doesn’t feel like a development in their teenage fumblings. Rather, it feels like something new.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian’s trepidation didn’t go away. But it also can’t reach him, here, in this embrace and in this moment in time.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They might be two broken kids half afraid of the dark. Not because of the unknown, but because they know what hides in it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well, He Tian knows anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t know how much of the dark Mo has seen himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Mo has seen something, enough to teach him that he should be running the fuck away. Mo doesn’t run the fuck away. Mo stubbornly stands his ground, chin raised high, ready for whatever the dark can throw at him.</span>
</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">________________________</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It has rained recently. The puddles on the asphalt reflect the streetlights. They’re walking side by the side, through the streets of a city in Europe. He Tian still has Mo’s bag slung over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian chances a glance at Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is staring off into the night. He clearly has something on his mind. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian doesn’t push it. Mo will talk, eventually.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They walk another couple of blocks in silence. Mo doesn’t turn to look at him but He Tian can still tell the moment Mo’s attention is back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What happens now?” Mo asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Good question.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now they wait out the time in a city far enough away to be safe and come back to China when we get the all clear. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But that’s not quite what Mo is asking, He Tian thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You moved halfway across the globe without knowing what happens next?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian grins. He feels shy. </span>
  <span class="s1">He also feels exhilarated, and in love, and fearless against the night. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He reaches out and takes Mo’s hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo pauses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…are you a fucking girl?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You gotta be kidding me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo doesn't actually stop him. He resumes walking, letting He Tian hold his hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is so fucking lucky. <em>Mo is amazing</em>, he thinks to himself, with no particular point in mind.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian is in heaven</span>
  <span class="s1"> for one full block. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then someone crosses the street in front of them and Mo quickly slips his hand out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Meh, it’s gonna take time. He Tian knew that. But they’re on the right path, here.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian waits until the person is out of sight. He even looks behind his shoulder to be sure. And then he moves half a step closer to Mo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He bumps his shoulder against Mo’s. </span>
  <span class="s1">Mo makes a soft noise of protest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mo, you're in love me."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What nonsense are you on about?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Try saying it out loud, get it out of your system. You'll feel better.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Like hell I will.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another full block in silence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Coward,” He Tian tells him. Just to goad him on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo glares.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That's not gonna work every time, you know.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“One time it lead to you kissing me. I've got a good track record.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo sighs. He runs a hand through his hair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…I don't know what you're talking about.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another full block. They've actually passed the house on the last one. He Tian is leading them in a square around the goal now, just to keep the moment going. Mo is too distracted to notice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, Mo pauses. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is shaking slightly, He Tian notices.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo takes a deep breath.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian, I-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Holy shit. <em>Holy shit</em>. He Tian stops everything, gives Mo his full attention.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is looking down. At their feet? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian nudges one foot against Mo's calf. When that doesn't get him a reaction he steps on Mo's foot, without much pressure.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You're a dickhead,” Mo tells him. Meh. He Tian really is.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo finally meets his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The eye contact is intense. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo starts flushing, deep red, and He Tian doesn't know if it's just embarrassment or something else, something dirtier.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian brings a hand to Mo's chin to tilt his head up. Mo's next breath is shaky.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes Mo?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He Tian, I-"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They're so close. Almost-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then Mo puts approximately 6 meters between them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo takes a moment to breathe, in and out, and straightens his clothes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even though He Tian has done nothing to mess with his clothes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instinct? He Tian is amused.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It takes He Tian a moment to catch up. Seriously?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Seriously?" he asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…yeah, nevermind." </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you for real?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is. He's blushing to the roots of his hair and he's walking away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He's definitely not finishing their little moment.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo is so funny. He Tian is not disappointed. They’ll get there, eventually.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You're going the wrong way,” He Tian tells him. When Mo looks back He Tian and points behind his shoulder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...that's where we came from.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, we passed the house two blocks ago.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...He Tian, for fuck's sake." Mo storms back and past him on the right way.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian feels no guilt whatsoever.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We were having a moment.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck off.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were so close to some self-discovery."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get fucked.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I just didn't wanna interrupt you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mo just flips him off.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He Tian walks behind him, and smiles. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yeah, they'll get there, eventually.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey guys, long time no see! I had a setback with this fic, I wrote most of the last chapter and then I lost the file. I felt too frustrated to write everything again until recently, when I had this idea. This is not a re-write of what I had already worked on - this is He Tian's point of view as a companion piece. But it wraps up the story nicely.</p><p>Thank you for all the comments and suggestions, you guys made my day. I have a couple extra things written, like random smut from He Tian's POV that I couldn't fit here plus a time-skip epilogue. I think I'll make this into a series and post it separately later.</p><p>Again, thank you for all the kindness, you guys were absolutely lovely to me. I'm sad this story is done but glad I got such lovely comments along the way.</p><p>See ya.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can find my 19 days blog at <a href="https://www.mgsdays.tumblr.com">mgsdays</a>. Come say hi! I'm super nice.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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